Bozhya korovka (Божья коровка) (English translation)

Proofreading requested
English translation


From the horizon,
From the fairytales,
You accidentally flew to my window.
So maybe it's nothing, just nothing.
But this good sign has changed my life a lot.
Fulfill my main desire, ladybug...
Summer is over, but I feel better now.
I'm much stronger, I can wait.
Nobody has seen the sun for a long time,
Water pours from the sky.
It's dark outside the window, But I can wait...
Fulfill my main desire, ladybug...
Fly to your beloved sky above the clouds,
I have never felt so free as now.
Let the wind help you fly,
I'll let you go, leave me your golden mark in the sky.
Fulfill my main desire, ladybug...
My good mascot,
My fabulous messenger,
Submitted by Olga_RyabyevaOlga_Ryabyeva on Wed, 07/11/2018 - 13:03
The author of translation requested proofreading.
It means that he/she will be happy to receive corrections, suggestions etc about the translation.
If you are proficient in both languages of the language pair, you are welcome to leave your comments.

Bozhya korovka (Божья коровка)

ingirumimusnocteingirumimusnocte    Wed, 07/11/2018 - 13:22

What a nice song! Just a few suggestions:

но мне стало легче теперь -> "but I feel better now" ?

к родному небу -> maybe "your beloved sky"? It's always difficult to translate "родной"

я раскрою ладонь -> "I open my hand" or something like that?

Also it would be nice to follow the English layout just to make reading easier.

Olga_RyabyevaOlga_Ryabyeva    Wed, 07/11/2018 - 13:27

Thank you for your comment, I agree with your translation and will check it again, but when I translated "Я раскрою ладонь", I wanted to make people understand the meaning, that she will not just open her hand, but make the ladybug free again.
About layout, honestly, I'm trying to follow it, but I can't.
Anyway, thank you

ingirumimusnocteingirumimusnocte    Wed, 07/11/2018 - 13:30

Sure, no problem. I think it's a nice translation.