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Chelovyek iz doma vyshel (Человек из дома вышел) (English translation)

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Proofreading requested
Russian

Chelovyek iz doma vyshel (Человек из дома вышел)

Поднялся рассвет над крышей,
Человек из дома вышел;
Поглядеть на жизнь поближе
Вздумал с утра.
 
Человеку много ль надо —
У него на сердце радость,
Он смеётся снегопаду,
Солнцу в небе и ветрам.
 
Лай-ла-ла-ла-ла,
Лай-ла-ла-ла-ла,
Лай-ла-ла-ла-ла-ла.
Ла-ла-ла,
Лай-ла-ла-ла-ла,
Лай-ла-ла-ла-ла,
Солнцу в небе и ветрам.
 
Человеку много ль надо –
Надо, чтобы друг был рядом,
Песня -- чтоб была на случай,
Случай любой.
 
Чтобы дома не забыли,
Чтобы следом письма плыли,
Чтобы в этих письмах были --
Были строчки про любовь.
 
Лай-ла-ла-ла-ла,
Лай-ла-ла-ла-ла,
Лай-ла-ла-ла-ла-ла.
Ла-ла-ла,
Лай-ла-ла-ла-ла,
Лай-ла-ла-ла-ла,
Были строчки про любовь.
 
Человеку много ль надо --
Чтоб в природе был порядок,
И была бы жизнь длиннее,
Чтобы шагать.
 
Чтоб не тёрла плечи ноша,
Повстречать людей хороших,
Да и счастье тоже надо, --
Тоже (Счастье)* надо повстречать.
 
Лай-ла-ла-ла-ла,
Лай-ла-ла-ла-ла,
Лай-ла-ла-ла-ла-ла.
Ла-ла-ла,
Лай-ла-ла-ла-ла,
Лай-ла-ла-ла-ла,
Счастье надо повстречать,
Счастье надо повстречать,
Счастье надо повстречать.
 
Submitted by Marinka on Sat, 17/01/2015 - 11:08
Submitter's comments:

Музыка: Станислав Пожлаков,
Слова: Алексей Ольгин
---
Также в альбомах:
«Человек из дома вышел (Песни Станислава Пожлакова)», 2008;
«Лучшие песни», 2012
---
* https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rdNBLtU-yNU (24.12.2011)

Align paragraphs
English translation

A man came out of his house

The dawn rose over the roof,
A man came out of his house;
To have a closer look at life
He intended in the morning.
 
Does a man need much -
His heart is full of joy,
He gives a smile at the snowfall,
At the sun in the sky and the winds.
 
Lai la la la la,
Lai la la la la,
Lai la la la la la.
La la la,
Lai la la la la,
Lai la la la la,
At the sun in the sky and the winds.
 
Does a man need much -
He needs to have a friend next to him,
To have a song – just in case,
For any case.
 
To be remembered by the family,
To be followed by letters
To find in these letters -
Some lines about love.
 
Lai la la la la,
Lai la la la la,
Lai la la la la la.
La la la,
Lai la la la la,
Lai la la la la,
Some lines about love.
 
Does a man need much -
To observe the nature's order,
To have a longer life,
In order to tread.
 
To avoid rubs on the shoulders, caused by the burden,
To come across nice people
And happiness as well
As well (Happiness)* Is yet to come across .
 
Lai la la la la,
Lai la la la la,
Lai la la la la la.
La la la,
Lai la la la la,
Lai la la la la,
Happiness is yet to come across
Happiness is yet to come across
Happiness is yet to come across
 
Submitted by Nadejda Silva on Mon, 16/04/2018 - 16:56
Added in reply to request by Aaron Perslin
The author of translation requested proofreading.
It means that he/she will be happy to receive corrections, suggestions etc about the translation.
If you are proficient in both languages of the language pair, you are welcome to leave your comments.
Comments
Brat    Mon, 16/04/2018 - 18:12

A good translation, indeed!
But a few remarks:

S1L4 с утра=утром=in the morning

S2L3 At the snowfall he gives a smile,->He gives a smile at the snowfall, (it would be connected to the following text in a much better way in this case)
S2L4 and the winds.->and at the winds.

S4-5 There's a need of making these lines connected in a proper way, because it's an enumeration of the man's needs:
Like this, for example:
Does a man need much -
He needs to have a friend next to him,
To have a song – just in case,
For any case.

To be remembered by the family,
To be followed by letters
To find in these letters -
Some lines about love.

S7L2 So that there would be order in nature,->To observe the nature's order (here's a built-in pun: to look on the order, and at the same time to obey the order. Though it's not present in the Russian original, I think it would be nice to use it.)
S7L3 And life would be longer,->To have a longer life

S8L1 So that burden won’t scrub the shoulders,->To avoid rubs on the shoulders caused by the burden (here's a hint to the Russian idiom "своя ноша не тянет" - "a burden of your own choice is not felt")
S8L2 To welcome nice people-> To come across nice people
S8L3 Happiness is necessary as well-> And happiness as well
S8L4 As well (Happiness)* must be welcomed.->Is yet to come across (some adjustment of the actual meaning)

S9L7-9 Happiness must be welcomed,-> Happiness is yet to come across

Nadejda Silva    Mon, 16/04/2018 - 18:27

Thank you for the suggestions. Surely, I will revise and review the translation, following your tips.
Cheers