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Cinderella search (Spanish translation)

  • Artist: Marillion
  • Song: Cinderella search 5 translations
  • Translations: Polish #1, #2, Spanish #1, #2, #3
Proofreading requested
Spanish translationSpanish
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En busca de Cenicienta

Versions: #1#2#3
¡DEDICADO A TODOS LOS ROMÁNTICOS BORRACHOS!
 
Después de la separación ya no sé qué quiero decir
La luz al fondo de la botella - el alfabeto de un alcohólico
En el espejo - el reflejo de mi propia cara borracha
Voy haciendo eses en busca de Cenicienta
 
Después de la separación ya no sé qué quiero decir
Empiezo de pie y termino en posición horizontal
Lo que digo necesita traducción
La sensación tridimensional se disuelve, pero sin cesar
sigo en busca de Cenicienta, de Cenicienta
 
Después de la separación repito las mismas palabras
Sueño con camareras, bourbon y saxofón
Perdí la suerte, perdí el encanto, la conquista en la barra llena de humo terminó
Sólo busco el camino que me pueda llevar a Cenicienta, llevar a Cenicienta
 
Pero una samaritana de corazón destrozado, destrozado
Nadó a través de nubes de nicotina y me dio respiración boca a boca
Resurrección en trance, la modelo, Santo Grial, en los letreros luminosos
Vi el sueño, guardo el sueño, acaricio el sueño
De terminar la búsqueda de Cenicienta, ¡ay, vamos, no más, no más!
 
Ella se comporta como una enfermera en turno de noche
y yo espero lo que revelará con mis paranoicos ojos de Polaroid, de Polaroid
 
El lacayo memorizó el número
Pero el príncipe aún sostiene ambas zapatillas
¿Y dejarías un palacio para vivir en una casita alquilada
Y para escuchar los Cuentos de Canterbury, de Canterbury?
 
Tal vez fue un encaprichamiento o la locura de persecución
Tal vez siempre estuviste fuera de mi alcance y mi corazón iba a lo seguro
Pero ¿fue el amor que vi en tus ojos o sólo el reflejo del mío?
Jamás lo sabré, nunca me diste tiempo para enterarme
¡Dame tiempo! ¿No quieres darme ese tiempo?
 
Bienvenido de vuelta al circo
Bienvenido de vuelta al circo
Bienvenido de vuelta al circo
 
Siempre uso los planos, pero nunca las redes de protección
Siempre los planos, pero nunca las redes de protección
Nunca las redes de protección, nunca las redes
Pese a todo, pese a todo, pese a todo, pese a todo, pese a todo
 
¡Bienvenido de vuelta al circo!
 
Copyright®: Andrzej Pałka.

All translations are protected by copyright law. Copying and publishing on other websites or in other media, even with the source link, is not allowed without a written permission of the author.

Wszystkie tłumaczenia są chronione prawami autorskimi. Kopiowanie i publikowanie na innych stronach internetowych lub w innych mediach, jest dozwolone wyłącznie po uzyskaniu pisemnej zgody autora. Podanie źródła tłumaczenia nie zastępuje zgody autora.
Submitted by AldefinaAldefina on Tue, 22/11/2016 - 18:27
Last edited by AldefinaAldefina on Tue, 21/03/2017 - 19:33
Author's comments:

La tercera traducción. Más corta y más interpretativa.

The author of translation requested proofreading.
It means that he/she will be happy to receive corrections, suggestions etc about the translation.
If you are proficient in both languages of the language pair, you are welcome to leave your comments.
EnglishEnglish

Cinderella search

More translations of "Cinderella search"
Spanish Aldefina
Marillion: Top 3
Idioms from "Cinderella search"
Comments
roster 31roster 31    Sun, 27/11/2016 - 14:02

Big job, Alde! But, to tell you the truth, there are lines that are not clear to me, and I mean from the original.
There are some grammatical mistakes that I can point out, I wouldn't touch your style, and, if you want to discus the interpretation, we can do it later.
1. Second stanza - "posición horizontal" (no "la")./
"lo que digo necesita traducción" (no "una")
2. Third stanza - "llena de humo" (no "del")/
"Sólo busco una dirección donde puedo encontrar Cenicienta" --> "Sólo busco la dirección donde pueda encontrar a Cenicienta".
3. Fourth - "una samaritana con el corazón destrozado". You could say "de corazón destrozado".
4. Sixth - "Tal vez siempre estabas" --> "Tal vez siempre estuviste"/
"o sólo el reflejo de lo mío?" --> "o sólo el reflejo del mío?"/
"nunca me diste el tiempo " (no "el")/
"¿No quieras " --> "no quieres".

Some accents are neded. If you want, we'll continue.

Again, tremendous job!

AldefinaAldefina    Sun, 27/11/2016 - 22:09

Muchas gracias, Rosa. Regular smile

It’s the most important Spanish translation that I did so far, so of course I would like very much to continue and to make it as good as possible, 'cause I don't intend to make another version. This one is the final one. When I tried to translate this song for the first time my Spanish hardly existed and the fact that I decided to try to do it was a total madness. Nevertheless, I did the right thing, because I was able to learn a lot. Honestly, I wasn’t happy with the result. I did it the same way like I did in case of my first Polish translation - too explanative. That’s why later I made another Polish version. Now it was time for another Spanish interpretation.

It’s a very difficult song to translate, because it’s not easy to understand it and that applies also to the native English speakers.

There was a site with explanations of Marillion songs, but it disappeared too quickly. It helped me to translate only one song - “Fugazi” - and then suddenly it stopped working. It was very good, because they quoted the explanations of the author (Fish) what he meant in his songs.

Only now I found another blog and one of the explanations was interesting. I didn’t pay attention that “Marquee” was capitalized. That’s why: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Marquee_Club

At the time when this song was written over the entrance there was a writing “Marquee” made of neon lights. It’s pretty similar to what I wrote in my explanations to my first Polish translation: “looks like the lyrical subject suddenly saw in his imagination a neon light writing SEX”. My (second) translation was (in Polish) “en las luces de promesas vi…”. I wonder whether it wouldn’t be a better choice.

I’ll continue tomorrow and I’ll correct what you suggested.

AldefinaAldefina    Mon, 28/11/2016 - 14:09

Rosa I made all the changes that you suggested, but I also added some missing accents - I guess this is what you meant:
- my intuition told me that it should have been "bourbón", because it’s a “llana”,
- after checking the Wikipedia (https://es.wikipedia.org/wiki/Los_cuentos_de_Canterbury ) I made this correction: "Cuentos de Canterbury" -> "los Cuentos de Canterbury", but as from the Spanish point of view “Canterbury” es una esdrújula, I wrote “Cantérbury” instead.

Are there any other missing accents?

One thing that I’m still thing about is the translation of “on the rebound”. At the beginning - before you read it - I had written “despúes de la partida”. The problem is that’s an ambiguous word and it may be easily misunderstood, but I think: “despúes del partir” would be a better solution. How about that?

Generally I realized that I have to be more careful with the articles. We don’t have them in Polish and the same applies to all Slavic languages. From time to time I make this mistake also in English, even if I understand the idea and I shouldn’t make it.

roster 31roster 31    Mon, 28/11/2016 - 14:20

I'll read it but, for the time being:
1. Don't put accents on foreign words.
2. "bourbon" is "bourbon" and "Canterbury" is "Canterbury", and that's the way we pronounce it.

AldefinaAldefina    Mon, 28/11/2016 - 14:27

Okay, I removed the accents. See how inventive I tried to be? Teeth smile :bigsmile: Wink smile

roster 31roster 31    Mon, 28/11/2016 - 14:54

One of your creative characteristics.

I'll be back for other accents. (The Spanish one).

roster 31roster 31    Tue, 29/11/2016 - 03:19

Let's see:

Acentos - "ya no sé que quiero decir" --> "qué" (dos veces)

Otras cosas
Segunda estrofa - "La sensación de tridimensionalidad". ¿Por qué no dices, simplemente, "La sensación tridimensional"?
Tercera estrofa - "encontrar Cenicienta" --> "encontrar a Cenicienta" (dos veces).
Cuarta estrofa - "nubes de la nicotina" --> "de nicotina".
(I see now that he says "la Samaritana" in caps, as reffering to a particular one).
"Resurrección en trance, la modelo, Santo Grial, en los letreros luminosos". No entirndo este verso en absoluto, pero creo que debe ser "el modelo". (?)
Líneas siguientes - "Después del trabajo va conmigo a la cama". ¿Quién? Me parece que es acerca de sí mismo:"exponiendo/demostrando/esperando(?)
Sexta estrofa - "tiempo para enterarse" --> "para enterarme". "¡Dame el tiempo! "--> "dame tiempo".

As I told you earlier, I don't quite understand this poem in spite of your good work. One main question: What is the meaning of Cinderella?

AldefinaAldefina    Wed, 07/12/2016 - 16:27

Okay, Rosa, let’s continue with my most important translation so far. :bigsmile:

Here you can read about the meaning of Cinderella: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cinderella

I wrote a very detailed explanation of the meaning of this song when I submitted its first translation. You can find everything there. Now not to repeat what you can read there let me tell you something new that you won’t find anywhere:

This song is about “The unlucky life of Derek Dick alias Fish”, who wrote these lyrics. It’s about his unsuccessful attempts to find the woman of his life, his Cinderella, and about his problems with alcohol. If you read about his life you’ll get it. He always tried to find a wrong woman in a wrong place and it always ended badly. “I always use the cue sheets but never the nets” - in other words: “Live like you’ll never die, love like you’ll never get hurt” and that’s what he kept on doing and when another one left him he drowned his sorrows in alcohol and straight away tried to find another one - always with the same result.

First of all I would like you to treat all that what I wrote as my own poem and not as a translation. Don’t compare it (too much) with the original lyrics, because it was not my goal to keep the words. I concentrated on the meaning and I wanted to express it my way. Important is how it sounds for a native Spanish speaker and whether it makes sense as a whole poem.

There was no way to translate it literally, so the only solution was to interpret most parts.

Indeed I concentrated on some lines and I overlooked things that I shouldn’t have overlooked, like accents or unneeded articles, but some parts that you mentioned I did intentionally this way.

No matter what the original says (“the Samaritan”) I wrote “una samaritana”, meaning not a particular one, but “some Samaritan”, because for me it made more sense in the given context. I’m only not sure whether it should be capitalized (in English it has to), because I noticed it sometimes is, but usually isn’t.

“The model” refers to his dream girl, so it should be “la modelo”.

My translation of “Exposing bedside manners on a work extension..” was an interpretation and I came to the conclusion that it wasn’t the best interpretation, so I wrote this part from scratch. Now it should be good. Have a look!

Just one grammatical question: You suggested to write “Tal vez siempre estuviste…” instead of “estabas”. For sure you know it better than I, no doubt about it, but let me tell you that for me it sounds strange, because it was “siempre”, so Imperfecto should be the logical choice. How to deal with it?

roster 31roster 31    Wed, 07/12/2016 - 19:15

Hi Andrzej, and thank you for all your information.
My question was simple: What does Cinderella represent in the song? Why is he searching for the cinder girl?
Simple but unimportant, I guess.

Usually, I don't touch your style, I pay attention to a clear meaning, and correct errors when necessary. What you did " intentionally" is fine with me (unless it doesn't make sense).

If you say "una samaritana" it shoudn't be capitalized. The thing is that the original says "THE Samaritana" (a matter of articles) in which case it seems to refer to the biblical character who gave water to Jesus. In English, biblical or not, Samaritan would be capitalized for been a person from Samaria.
Perhaps you should add a foot note about the meaning of 'samaritana'.

Leave 'la modelo' if you want but it sounds like "a fashion model". "El modelo"can be for anything, feminine or masculine. You can also say "la chica modelo".

"Comportando como una enfermera en turno de noche" doesn't make sense to me, but I don't understand it in the original either. I suppose he is talking about himself, then "comportándome". If you are going to leave as is (rather literal), I would make it shorter, like "comportándome como una enfermera de turno". (?) No meaning to me, anyway.

In regards to "estabas/estuviste", you can use the imperfect but, obviously, or at least I assume, it is something that ended. Rather, "something that never happened". If you leave it as is, don't worry, it sounds good.

Again, tremendous job!

Nota extra: "Sólo busco la dirección" sounds like "the adress". Unless you say something like "la dirección que me conduzca/lleve..." What about "el camino" ?

AldefinaAldefina    Tue, 21/03/2017 - 19:44

Okay, Rosa, let’s continue with this translation, there’s not much left to finish it. Sorry for my late reply. Regular smile

Why is he searching for the Cinderella? There’s no answer in this song, but that’s easy to guess - he meant his dream girl.

All the lyrics written by Fish are ambiguous, he plays with words and everyone can understand them differently or may not understand them at all, even if he’s a native speaker, but that’s normal in case of poetry. It was clearly his intention to leave space for interpretation and I try to use this space.

Samaritans are an ethnoreligious group of the Levant originating from the Israelites (Hebrews) of the Ancient Near East. Important in this song are their religious beliefs and how they treat women. They have their own religious beliefs based on Tora and they discriminate against women. In other words “una samaritana” means a woman who doesn’t expect to have the same rights as a man, she lives only to please him and waits for a Messiah to grant her his salvation. When she meets the lyrical subject she believes it is finally this Saviour she’s been waiting for. Later she realises it wasn’t and leaves him.

The meaning of “Exposing bedside manners on a work extension…” is “behaving like a nurse on a night shift” - https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bedside_manner

It clearly refers to the “Cinderella”, so now I wrote: “Ella se comporta como una enfermera en turno de noche” - they went to bed and she started "pleasing" him and he waited what would happen next, so: “y yo espero lo que revelará…” - “I’m waiting what will develop - meaning what will happen - (gazing) with my paranoid Polaroid eyes”.

For me “la modelo” sounds fine, because as the lyrical subject for sure liked that “Cinderella” for him she must have looked like a fashion model.

You’re right, Rosa, with “dirección”. How about: “Sólo busco el camino que me pueda llevar a Cenicienta, llevar a Cenicienta”? That’s what I wrote now.

roster 31roster 31    Wed, 22/03/2017 - 18:28

Hi Andrzej! Let's see what Cinderella has to say:

Sure, it is easy to guess but, why the neglected, mistreated Cinderella? What does she represent" is he the prince? Irrelevant. Let's go on:

"La Samaritana' (from Samaria) refers to the one who gave water to Jesus (a Jew who offered her the water of life), when Jews always looked down on Samaritans.

All right with the translation of 'bedside manners', I guess, although it doesn't sound very romantic, which is fine in this context.

I was right with "dirección"? Suena bien ahora.

¿Terminado? ¡Viva!

AldefinaAldefina    Wed, 22/03/2017 - 19:18

Gracias, Rosa. Regular smile ¿Ahora todo es perfecto o necesito cambiar algo más?

BTW, the explanation what the “Samaritan” means I found in the Polish version of Wikipedia and I translated it. Strangely I wasn’t able to find the same explanation both in English and Spanish version of Wikipedia.

Your explanation also sounds fine, but I prefer what I wrote, because that’s how I understand it in this particular song.

¡Soy yo! Wink smile

AldefinaAldefina    Wed, 22/03/2017 - 20:51

Thanks! I'll be waiting. Regular smile

roster 31roster 31    Sat, 25/03/2017 - 01:24

Hi Andrzej:
I don't think I can add comments to this translation. To tell you the truth, there are expressions in the original I am not familiar with. I assume your interpretation is correct, always with the possibility of different opinions.

Hasta la próxima.

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