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Бери шинель, пошли домой → English translation
Grab your trenchcoat, we're going home
- 1. many Soviet soldiers graves bore a pyramid with a red star
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1. | The Red Army is the Strongest in the World |
2. | Песни о Великой Отечественной войне |
Hi! I think "curse the days of old" goes a bit wrong way here. It should be "swear by the day past" or "swear by yesterday, days of old, and so on".
And also in Line 1 of Stanza 2 it should be definitely "The war".
And it's better to say "We've settled our score" just before this.
And it would be better to make a wider use of the Present Perfect tense here, because the song bears a kind of "momentary" hue, giving a vivid picture of the Victory Day, so longed-for, but nevertheless so bitter at the moment.
Time present and time past
Are both perhaps present in time future,
And time future contained in time past.
If all time is eternally present
All time is unredeemable.
What might have been is an abstraction
Remaining a perpetual possibility
Only in a world of speculation.
What might have been and what has been
Point to one end, which is always present.
T.S. Eliot, Burnt Norton
Well, you see, this whole song is a kind of boldly minted 'today' surrounded by a bunch of conditionals: if we stayed there for a next while; if he bent a little bit lower; if I told him that before... - there would be no need to swear, because he would be safe and sound...
Well, try to imagine a surgeon coming out of the theatre with his patient lying dead. And imagine he would swear that 'they did their best' as if it could be of any help for the relatives.
There are some situations where words could not console... But nevertheless we are obliged to say something...
Of course you couldn't see it, because there's no place for pledges of any kind. It's too late...
You'd brew a mixture of what is possible, what is likely to happen and what is totally impossible in the given curcumstances to produce a kind of rendition.
That's why I suggested that he'd "swear" by the days past.
There are, basically, two main problems:
1. To avoid allusions to offensive swearing, because this would be said as "клясть" in Russian. (it is quite an easy task, though)
2. To make it obvious that this "swearing" is as needful as it is at the same time useless, and, generally, senseless (but at the same time NOT ridiculous).
Here lies the algorithm you should follow to make a good translation of the song.
Frankly, it would be the last thing to knock at my blemished head. Because this song is actually not about the dead but all about those still being alive and feeling guilty for what they are not to blame. Like in this song -> https://lyricstranslate.com/en/%D0%BE%D0%BD-%D0%BD%D0%B5-%D0%B2%D0%B5%D1...
And in this too -> https://lyricstranslate.com/en/Vladimir-Vysotsky-PESNYA-O-POGIBSHEM-LETC...
I think "you and me" sounds better in English.