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This is the day (French translation)

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French translation

Voici le jour

Tu ne t’es pas levé ce matin parce que tu ne t’es pas couché
Tu regardais le blanc de tes yeux devenir rouges
Le calendrier accroché au mur égrenait les jours
Tu lisais des vieilles lettres
Tu souris en pensant à quel point tu as changé
Tout l’or du monde ne pourrait pas racheter ces jours-là
 
Tu ouvres les rideaux
Et le soleil te brûle les yeux
Tu regardes un avion passer
À travers un ciel d'azur
Voici le jour, où ta vie va sûrement changer
Voici le jour, où tout va s'arranger
 
Tu aurais pu faire n’importe quoi, si tu avais voulu
Et tous tes amis et ta famille croient que tu as de la veine
Mais le côté de toi qu’ils ne verront jamais
C’est quand on te laisse tout seul avec les souvenirs
Qui empêchent ta vie de tomber en morceaux
 
Submitted by Gavin on Thu, 21/06/2018 - 10:45
Last edited by Gavin on Sun, 24/06/2018 - 11:14
English

This is the day

More translations of "This is the day"
FrenchGavin
Idioms from "This is the day"
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Comments
petit élève    Sat, 23/06/2018 - 01:06

Well you didn't wake up... -> I would drop the "alors". You might render it with something like "Il faut dire que tu ne t'étais pas couché" or "en même temps tu ne t'étais pas couché" or something like that.

les blancs de tes yeux -> "le blanc" would probably work better (as in "regarder dans le blanc des yeux")

was ticking the days off -> would be "cochait" (the calendar), but I'd rather say "égrennait les jours" ("égrenner" works well for passing time units)

All the money in the world -> "tout l'or du monde" is a bit more idiomatic ("pas pour tout l'or du monde")

watch a plane flying -> "tu regardes un avion passer" sounds a bit more usual. "regarder un avion voler" would be more like studying a plane to understand how it flies.

un ciel bleu azur -> "un ciel d'azur" is enough. "un beau ciel bleu" would work too, if you want something more casual.

surement -> sûrement

si tu en avais voulu -> that would mean "if you wanted some of it" or "if you were motivated". Here it's more like "si tu avais voulu" or "si tu l'avais voulu" (the direct complement is optional)

te croient avoir de la veine -> you could say "te croient chanceux" (i.e. using some kind of adjective), but "avoir de la veine" is more like a noun. I'd say "Ils croient que tu as de la veine" instead

the side of you -> "ton côté" works quite well. "le côté [de toi] qu'ils ne verront jamais". "de toi" is more explicit, maybe that's a bit safer to add that.

hold your life together like glue -> You're missing an elision in "l'union de ta vie", and that does not really compute. "l'unité de ta vie" would be understandable but sound rather odd here.
I think the glue would better be dropped.
I'd rephrase that to give it more punch. "qui recollent les morceaux de ta vie" or "qui empêchent ta vie de tomber en morceaux" something like that.

Gavin    Sat, 23/06/2018 - 10:46

Thanks - looks like I still have some work to do on this one! Regular smile

petit élève    Sat, 23/06/2018 - 11:46

Most of the work will be sorting through suggestions

Gavin    Sun, 24/06/2018 - 14:40

Well, that first 'well' is very throw away, just like drawing a breath so I thought 'alors' or 'donc' would do it. But if not then maybe best dropping it all together as you say.

I was quite please with 'cochait' despite the mis-conjugation. But I see that égrenait is better, like counting off rosary beads or something (my dictionary insists just one 'n' though?)

Bit surprised voler doesn't sound so good but I trust your judgment of course. I was trying to be clever with the word order, can that work or does is sound silly? - Tu regardes passer un avion

Ooh - with "ciel d'azur" the chorus becomes nicely singable Regular smile

Yeah, I wasn't sure if the 'en' was necessary with the vouloir.

Again, I was trying to be a bit too clever with "te croient avoir" - probably over complicated it!

La - union - Oh yeah! Surprised I missed that one. I would have caught it if I'd just read it aloud.

Hmm - I like 'recoller' as it echoes the glue but does that sound a bit too much like "stick BACK together" rather than 'hold together' - in that case empêcher is better. Sure I couldn't just stick a "comme de la colle" on the end? Maybe a bit too much eh...

petit élève    Sun, 24/06/2018 - 13:35

Sorry about "égrener", double consonants are my bane.

"regarder les mouches voler" is idiomatic, but "regarder passer un avion/les trains" sounds more natural to me, it all evokes staring absent-mindedly at something.
"regardes passer un avion" is indeed the best word order. "regardes un avion passer" is possible too but sounds a bit less nice.

"recoller les morceaux" is kind of idiomatic for "sort the mess" so it might not be exactly appropriate, but it sounds nice. "avec de la colle" sounds a bit redundant to me, whichever expression you chose.

Gavin    Sun, 24/06/2018 - 15:45

Think it reads pretty well now. Regular smile
Thing about this glue is that it's redundant in the English too, but he adds it anyway, like an afterthought.
Wondering whether to add it to the French but to give it a separate line of its own in both languages.

petit élève    Sun, 24/06/2018 - 17:50

well, it won't change the meaning much anyway, in my opinion.