Rybka (Рибка) (English translation)

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Proofreading requested
Ukrainian

Rybka (Рибка)

Маленька-маленька рибина,
Де твоя велика глибина?
Що ти робиш тута?
Тут з водою скрута,
Море тут по кісточки,
Горя тут бочки! Ей!
 
Маленька-маленька рибка,
Тут вода мілка і липка.
Опустили вудки
На твої грудки,
Твої ніжні поплавці
У чиїсь міцній руці! Ей!
 
Маленька-маленька,
Ти тепер – земелька!
На твоїй гладкій лусці
Виростають острівці,
А малу рибину
Знову тягне на мілину... Ей!
 
Маленька-маленька,
Маленька-маленька,
Маленька-маленька рибка...
 
Submitted by ieieo on Thu, 01/03/2018 - 13:46
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English translation

An Itsy-bitsy Fish

Versions: #1#2
An itsy-bitsy fish,
Where is your depth?
What are you doin' here?
There's a problem with water here,
The sea is ankle deep here,
But there are whole barrels of grief! Hey!
 
An itsy-bitsy fish,
Water here is shallow and sticky.
The fishermen cast the fishing rods
at your chest,
And your gentle fins
are in someone's strong hand! Hey
 
An itsy-bitsy fish,
Now you are just soil!
On your smooth scales
Little isles are growing,
But the small fish
Is beckoned back to the shallows again... Hey!
 
An itsy-bitsy
An itsy-bitsy
An itsy-bitsy fish...
 
Please don't hesitate to correct me, especially if the translation language is your native language.
With Best Regards,
© Alexander Laskavtsev
Submitted by Alexander Laskavtsev on Thu, 21/06/2018 - 13:24
Added in reply to request by Vali Tanase
Last edited by Alexander Laskavtsev on Sat, 23/06/2018 - 14:14
The author of translation requested proofreading.
It means that he/she will be happy to receive corrections, suggestions etc about the translation.
If you are proficient in both languages of the language pair, you are welcome to leave your comments.
Idioms from "Rybka (Рибка)"
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Comments
petit élève    Thu, 21/06/2018 - 13:31

The little isles are growing -> yet another extraneous article. If you can put "some" instead of "the" then you should use no article at all Regular smile

Gavin    Thu, 21/06/2018 - 13:42

"There're" isn't standard English. Should either be "there are" or "there's" ("there's" can be used for both "there is" and "there are")

The fishermen cast the fishing rods on your chest - Sounds a bit odd... maybe "at" or "towards" your chest.

Beaconed - Beckoned?
Beckoned back to the shallows...

Alexander Laskavtsev    Thu, 21/06/2018 - 13:51
Gavin wrote:

("there's" can be used for both "there is" and "there are")

What good news! Regular smile I was taught that "there is" is for single, and "there are" is for plural. Regular smile

Gavin    Thu, 21/06/2018 - 13:53

Yep, that's correct - but they both shorten to "there's". So when in doubt that's an easy cop out. Regular smile

Igeethecat    Sat, 23/06/2018 - 01:25
Gavin wrote:

The fishermen cast the fishing rods on your chest - Sounds a bit odd... maybe "at" or "towards" your chest.

I think is sounds odd because of the “chest”. It sounds metaphorical in Ukrainian, but (IMHO) it’s a little awkward in other languages. If I would translate it to Russian, I wouldn’t use «грудки» (direct translation), it sounds strange. I would say something like (trying to keep it as short as original)

Заброшены удочки на/по твоё тельце
(Fishing) poles’ve been cast at/towards your little body

It’s just my opinion Regular smile

petit élève    Sat, 23/06/2018 - 02:00

I'm just wondering if this "little chest" might allude to the heart?

Igeethecat    Sat, 23/06/2018 - 02:07

I would rather allude it to the soul (забросили удочки по твою душу), but you will not understand this Regular smile

petit élève    Sat, 23/06/2018 - 02:09

Why do you think I wouldn't? Human understanding can sometimes make little hops across borders.

Igeethecat    Sat, 23/06/2018 - 02:14

You always get confused when it’s about душа, беда и разлука Regular smile
And I don’t know how to say it in English (to begin with)....

petit élève    Sat, 23/06/2018 - 02:24

It's because some of the things Russian puts in the soul are rather symbolized by the heart in English. Soul is not the seat of emotions in English, more of beliefs and morality.

Igeethecat    Sat, 23/06/2018 - 02:36

Well, I don’t how ‘heart’ will sounds in English

My allusion to the soul was because of the:
Пришла смерть по её (рыбкину) душу
The death came to take her (little fishy’s) soul

petit élève    Sat, 23/06/2018 - 02:42

??? I don't see anything like that in the song. Or are you quoting something else?

Igeethecat    Sat, 23/06/2018 - 02:46

No, no, its not in the song, I’m just trying to explain the soul thingy. The fishy is going to die, ‘the death will take her soul’ Sad smile

petit élève    Sat, 23/06/2018 - 02:46

well it could also be a metaphor for someone toying with the fish's feelings.

petit élève    Sat, 23/06/2018 - 03:29

well that must be my French skewed thinking, but it could be a metaphor for a love gone bad Regular smile

Igeethecat    Sat, 23/06/2018 - 04:16

Maybe in French, but not in Russian, at least not this one, though we have many more that might work for a love gone wrong Regular smile

Alexander Laskavtsev    Sat, 23/06/2018 - 06:23

C'mon, guys... Most probably it's not about heart or soul. That's just a metaphor. "Fishermen cast their rods to catch you" and there's no hidden meanings at all Wink smile
Sometimes a banana is just a banana... Teeth smile

Igeethecat    Sat, 23/06/2018 - 12:54

Of course, we know that, but heart and/or soul sound(s) so much more romantic, then banana Teeth smile

Gavin    Sat, 23/06/2018 - 22:34

Oh I don't know... they can be quite "ap-peal-ing"!

*ahem*

petit élève    Sat, 23/06/2018 - 22:32

Half the fun of translation is fantasizing about lyrics Wink smile

Kashtanka1965    Sat, 23/06/2018 - 03:45

But the small fish
Is beckoned back ... It doesn't sound right to me. The fish is pulled back by something (destiny?), or the little fish has a death wish and attracted to the shallows. Anyway, if the little fish is beckoned back to the shallows, than by whom or by what?

Igeethecat    Sat, 23/06/2018 - 04:30

I think that this particular kind of fishes is justvattracted to the shallow and go there to fulfill their (last?) wishes. So, one little fish died, but the ‘new’ small fish is going (back?) to the the same shallow just because Regular smile

Alexander Laskavtsev    Sat, 23/06/2018 - 06:17

Some (almost all, actuallly) fishes shed their eggs in warm shallow waters (so them to have enough of Sun energy to grow into children-fishes Wink smile )

Kashtanka1965    Sat, 23/06/2018 - 06:45

You are missing the point. I didn't write about the the habits of the small fish. May be : the small fish keeps coming back to the shallows.

Alexander Laskavtsev    Sat, 23/06/2018 - 06:50

Translate this concept yourself: "Рыбку тянет на мель...". We don't mention what exactly dragging it to the shallows Wink smile

Igeethecat    Sat, 23/06/2018 - 06:56

Я если честно, насчёт beaconed/bekoned тоже не поняла, но не стала спорить, потому как носитель языка не возразил, а поправил. Но ему же тоже тяжело судить, он же не знает, что на самом деле происходит, может, рыбку коптят или Бэкон из неё делают Regular smile

Alexander Laskavtsev    Sat, 23/06/2018 - 06:58

Я всегда в этом случае переводил что что-то "is beckoned" куда-то и мне никогда и никто из носителей не возражал Regular smile

Alexander Laskavtsev    Sat, 23/06/2018 - 07:11

"бекон из рыбки" - хммм..., меня, как украинца, ваша идея привлекла! ))))))

Igeethecat    Sat, 23/06/2018 - 07:20

Sorry, it was your idea - “beaconed‘“ Regular smile

а що її пробувати рибка як рибка

Alexander Laskavtsev    Sat, 23/06/2018 - 07:07

Though I think we can say "The shallow water is still beckoning a little fish". What do you think?

Igeethecat    Sat, 23/06/2018 - 08:56

I hope natives will not object, sounds much better to me, except for maybe a ‘small’ fish, because the little one’s already gone... Sad smile
Or another little fish?

Kashtanka1965    Sat, 23/06/2018 - 10:44

I thought bacon is made from pig rather than fish.

Igeethecat    Sat, 23/06/2018 - 13:48
Kashtanka1965 wrote:

I thought bacon is made from pig rather than fish.

Australia, don’t you have а turkey bacon?

А если несерьёзно, то если самогон можно гнать из табуретки, то почему бы не заменить рыбий жир на рыбье сало?

Kashtanka1965    Sat, 23/06/2018 - 10:55

I love my bacon and eggs for breakfast, And you add some fresh tomatoes and mushrooms , long black coffee and who cares about the weight problems.

Sophia_    Sat, 23/06/2018 - 11:32

Спасибо, Анатолий, возьму на заметку, как надо набирать вес.
А то пиво с мороженым надоело уже Regular smile

Gavin    Sat, 23/06/2018 - 22:33

Or indeed a "full English" Regular smile

Kashtanka1965    Sat, 23/06/2018 - 12:41

Много, много лет назад я с ребятами добавляли стакан сметаны в кружку пива и щепотку соли. Это чисто одесский рецепт. Попробуйте мужики, это вроде какой-то афродизиак. Жалко только, что сметана по советски была водой разбавлена, но ничего, другой не было.

Igeethecat    Sat, 23/06/2018 - 13:30

Это для похудания ? Или чтоб стоял?

Sophia_    Sat, 23/06/2018 - 13:03

Мне этот рецепт советовали, чтоб вес набрать, но я не могу представить, как такое пить.

Igeethecat    Sat, 23/06/2018 - 13:06

Н-да, пиво с мороженым намного приятнее

Alexander Laskavtsev    Sat, 23/06/2018 - 14:09

Спасибо за совет. Про соль знал, а вот сметана - это что-то новое Wink smile

Igeethecat    Sat, 23/06/2018 - 14:28

Я наоборот, про сметану знала, а соль зачем - для вкуса?

Alexander Laskavtsev    Sat, 23/06/2018 - 15:04

Здесь - думаю да. Вообще соль, меняя плотность жидкости, из любой жидкости с растворёнными в ней газами эти газы выталкивает. В случае с пивом она создаёт дополнительную пену Wink smile

Igeethecat    Sat, 23/06/2018 - 15:15

О, тогда соль - не для меня; не нравится мне пиво пенное;)

Но из-за всей этой научности, вспомнился закон Архимеда:
Тело, впёрнутое в воду,
Выпирает на свободу
С силой выпертой воды
Телом впёрнутым туды
(без значков - по памяти)

Kashtanka1965    Sat, 23/06/2018 - 22:02

Я Вам даю право разобраться для чего пиво со сметаной,
А для женщин очень вкусно пиво с лимонадом. Это у нас называется "Шанти"- очень вкусный напиток.

Igeethecat    Sat, 23/06/2018 - 22:27

Н-да, пиво с лимонадом наверное вкусно, но мне, пожалуйста - в разные стаканы Wink smile
А мужчины могут добавить к сметанке кинзу, устриц или Виагру - говорят, тоже помогает Regular smile

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