Das Abendland (English translation)

Proofreading requested
English translation


Promising grief,
the morning works its way
from distant places.
For it holds
in its lap
the seed of a great evil.
Alien and strange,
dawn already reaches
the thin rim of the sky.
An apprehension
is ominously spread
by the morning.
Mountains wrap themselves in mist,
soon covered in grieving crepe.
From the valleys rises a lament
resounding forth into the night.
A heavy sigh goes through
wide expanses of air, and a waft of wind
blows from distant mountains
as if from graves.
Leaves wave as if in farewell
in the loneliness of the forests,
and their mourning autumn dress
shimmers as if drenched in blood.
Every eye that still awaits
a proud living light
will soon get clouded by the grief
tears wrench out of it.
No gentle gift of hope strengthens
the noble spirit standing watch,
ingloriously starving in awe
in the night of the Occident.
Submitted by Guest on Thu, 20/09/2018 - 11:41
Added in reply to request by Andrey Carvalho
Author's comments:

Apparently this song is a rather explicit metaphor of the cultural invasion threatening the Western world, as far-right minded people concieve it. I could not agree less with that view of the world. Still I believe sweeping that kind of thoughts under the rug is not a solution. I can only hope readers will take it with enough wisdom to avoid repeating some mistakes of the past.

The author of translation requested proofreading.
It means that he/she will be happy to receive corrections, suggestions etc about the translation.
If you are proficient in both languages of the language pair, you are welcome to leave your comments.

Das Abendland

More translations of "Das Abendland"
Forseti: Top 3
See also
Flopsi    Sat, 22/09/2018 - 10:25

Erstmals: Was für eine unglaublich schöne Übersetzung. Vielen herzlichen Dank!

Irritiert hat mich "Abendland" als "morning lands" - zuvor dachte ich, das sei doch "the Western World", aber nachdem ich den Text gelesen habe, habe ich das verstanden und jetzt bin ich mir nicht mehr sicher, was da richtig ist.
"Klagen" / "clang" - mit Klagen ist nicht Klang, sondern Wehklage "lament" gemeint.
"Harm" / "harm" - ich glaube "harm" statt "grief" könnte man gerade noch durchgehen lassen Regular smile
"edlen Geist" / "ancient spirit" - "noble spirit"

petit élève    Sat, 22/09/2018 - 10:36

Thank you, I was not sure I could render this refined German properly.

I hesitated to translate "Abendland" directly, "evening land" just sounded odd in English. I thought the idea was to evoke a gloomy landscape, no matter what time of day. What do you think?

I've made all the changes. How does it look now?

Toadmeisterflash    Sat, 22/09/2018 - 10:45

“Evening” land rather than “Morning” lands? Shadowlands?

petit élève    Sat, 22/09/2018 - 10:47

Good idea! I was not really happy with this "evening".

Natur Provence    Sat, 22/09/2018 - 11:21

The meaning in the context of the song is unclear. Surely is not meant Europe as occident. But morning, evening or shadow doesn' t fit either, imo. I propose dark or gloomy land.

petit élève    Sat, 22/09/2018 - 11:25

"dark lands" sounds good to me.
What do you natives think?

Flopsi    Sat, 22/09/2018 - 11:26

You're very welcome. This is a joy to read. You're changes are fine.

Okay, I haven't known this song at all. I know nothing about Forseti or Orplid. So I had to google a lot. They seem to be right winged. Just read the lyrics again: The seed of great evil, alien and strange (weird and foreign) - if someone sees it like this, it's all about xenophobia.
Looks like gloomy landscape, but now I tend to the Western World going under due to foreign influences. Gosh, I hate this, those are beautiful lyrics - maybe I'm all wrong.

By the way this is the original:

petit élève    Sat, 22/09/2018 - 11:36

Mmm... Apparently this Uwe Nolte guy seems to appeal to the right-wing crowd.
The thought of xenophobia didn't cross my mind as I translated the song, but I suppose it could be interpreted that way.

Natur Provence    Sat, 22/09/2018 - 12:29

I fear Flopsi is true. And in my memory Nolte is known for right winged but I did not find his name in connexion to Forseti. On the other hand the name "Forseti" is evident for right winged persons.

petit élève    Sat, 22/09/2018 - 12:31

Oh really? Do you mean the band is known to support right-wing opinions, or is it the meaning of the name itself?

mk87    Sat, 22/09/2018 - 14:36

Actually, "Abendland" is the German term for "occident" (whereas "Morgenland" is the German term for "orient"). So he's singing about the Western/Christian world which is menaced by some vague danger that's coming from far away... honestly, those lyrics (as poetic as they might sound) leave little to the imagination.

petit élève    Sat, 22/09/2018 - 16:09

Mmm... I had missed that completely. Sorry about that.