Медлительной чредой нисходит день осенний... (Medlitelʹnoy chredoy niskhodit denʹ osenniy...) (English translation)

Artist: Alexander Blok (Александр Александрович Блок)
Song: Медлительной чредой нисходит день осенний... (Medlitelʹnoy chredoy niskhodit denʹ osenniy...) 2 translations
Translations: English, French
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Russian/Romanization/Romanization 2

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Медлительной чредой нисходит день осенний...

Медлительной чредой нисходит день осенний,

Медлительно крути́тся желтый лист,

И день прозрачно свеж, и воздух дивно чист -

Душа не избежит невидимого тленья.

Так, каждый день стареется она,

И каждый год, как желтый лист кружится,

Всё кажется, и помнится, и мнится,

Что осень прошлых лет была не так грустна.

Submitted by St. Sol

St. Sol on Tue, 05/09/2017 - 19:53

Last edited by

lt on Thu, 21/05/2020 - 12:09

Submitter's comments:

5 января 1900.

English translationEnglish (metered, rhyming)

So slowly wanes away another autumn day

So slowly wanes away another autumn day,

So slowly whirls t’ward the ground a lonely yellow leaf,

The day is clear and fresh, the air is cool and crisp -

The soul would not escape the still unseen decay.

Thus, every single day she grows older yet.

And every year she twirls just like a yellow leaf,

But still, naively so, she harbors this belief

That autumn of last years was not as gloomy sad.

Thanks! ❤
thanked 3 times

Submitted by Irula

Irula on Mon, 30/11/2020 - 03:02

Translations of "Медлительной чредой ..."

English M,RIrula

French E,P,R Jadis

Alexander Blok: Top 3

1.	Ночь, улица, фонарь, аптека (Noch', ulica, fonar', apteka)
2.	Ты твердишь, что я холоден, замкнут и сух (Ty tverdishʹ, chto ya kholoden, zamknut i sukh)
3.	Незнакомка (Neznakomka)

Comments

Schnurrbrat

Mon, 30/11/2020 - 05:57

I like it, minor suggestions as usual:
to get rid of the third "So" = with every day she grows older
imho "autumn's day" is not necessary, autumn day will do.
I would also add a couple of articles before Ground and Decay.

Irula

Mon, 30/11/2020 - 06:27

I agree with “autumn day”, but the additional articles would change the meter. And I still need a one-syllable word for the second stanza. I can use “thus”. Thank you!

Schnurrbrat

Mon, 30/11/2020 - 06:26

I was only against your 3rd "so" and you've changed it. In the first two lines I think you did well by repeating first two words.

Irula

Mon, 30/11/2020 - 06:28

I changed my reply but you were faster lol :-)
Yes, I agree, “thus” sounds better!

Brat

Mon, 30/11/2020 - 07:53

Hey there, the invisible decay ruins the rhythm. What about 'the still [yet] unseen decay' instead?
And it would be better to replace 'so drearily sad' with 'that drearily sad' for it is closer to what was meant in Russian.

BlackSea4ever

Mon, 30/11/2020 - 09:18

I think 'so drearily sad“ is more accurate, B.

I really like how you translated this poem, Irul!

Brat

Mon, 30/11/2020 - 13:11

Well, you see, 'so drearily sad' means 'так уныло грустна', while 'that drearily sad' means 'такая уныло грустная'. That differs not much, but it does.

Irula

Mon, 30/11/2020 - 14:05

“The” ruins the rhythm. I had to add it after 42 pointed out that it was, indeed, needed here. “The still unseen” - I like it. I will think about it.
I also agree with subtle differences between “so” and “that”. I will think about it also. Thank you!