Ne vous mariez pas, les filles (English translation)

French
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Ne vous mariez pas, les filles

Avez-vous vu un homme à poil
Sortir soudain d'la salle de bains
Dégoulinant par tous les poils
Et la moustache pleine de chagrin ?
Avez-vous vu un homme bien laid
En train d'manger des spaghetti
Fourchette au poing, l'air abruti
D'la sauce tomate sur son gilet
Quand ils sont beaux, ils sont idiots
Quand ils sont vieux, ils sont affreux
Quand ils sont grands, ils sont feignants
Quand ils sont p'tits, ils sont méchants
Avez-vous vu un homme trop gros
Extraire ses jambes de son dodo
S'masser l'ventre et s'gratter les tifs
En r'gardant ses pieds l'air pensif ?
 
Ne vous mariez pas, les filles, ne vous mariez pas
Faites plutôt du cinéma
Restez pucell' chez vot' papa
Dev'nez serveuse chez un bougnat
El'vez des singes, él'vez des chats
Levez la patte à l'Opéra
Vendez des boît' de chocolat
Prenez le voile ou l'prenez pas
Dansez à poil pour les gagas
Soyez radeuse av'nue du Bois
Mais ne vous mariez pas, les filles
Ne vous mariez pas
 
Avez-vous vu un homme gêné
Rentrer top tard pour le dîner
Du rouge à lèvres sur son col
Du flageolant dans la guibole
 
Avez-vous vu au cabaret
Un monsieur qui n'est plus très frais
Se frotter avec insistance
Sur un' petite fleur d'innocence
Quand ils sont bêtes, ils vous embêtent
Quand ils sont forts, ils font du sport
Quand ils sont riches, ils gard'nt l'artiche
Quand ils sont durs, ils vous torturent
 
Avez-vous vu à votre bras
Un maigrichon aux yeux de rat
Friser ses trois poils de moustache
Et se redresser, l'air bravache
 
Ne vous mariez pas, les filles, ne vous mariez pas
Mettez vos robes de gala
Allez danser à l'Olympia
 
Changez d'amant quat' fois par mois
Prenez la braise et gardez-la
Cachez la fraîche sous vos matelas
À cinquante ans ça servira
À vous payer des beaux p'tits gars
Rien dans la tête, tout dans les bras
Ah, la belle vie que ça sera
Si vous n'vous mariez pas, les filles
Si vous n'vous mariez pas
 
Submitted by Vladimir4757Vladimir4757 on Thu, 03/12/2020 - 16:57
Submitter's comments:

I cannot find Beatrice Moulin anywhere. She's only done two songs, this one and Les Pirates. If anyone can tell me whether-or-not she's part of a band that'd be nice. She only shows up in Vians music (these two songs) and I don't know if I should make a separate author because technically this was by Vian from what I can tell, and from the iTunes album there songs on there where Vian sings. So I don't know. I'm not here to start something, if this is in the wrong place direct me to the right place s'il vous plaît

English translationEnglish
Align paragraphs

Just Don't Get Married

Have you ever seen a man naked,
Walking out of the bathtub,
His hairs still dripping,
And sorrow on his mustache?
How about a very ugly man,
Sucking down spaghetti,
Fork in his fists, looking stupid.
Tomato sauce on his shirt.
When they're beautiful they're stupid,
When they're old they're ugly,
When they're tall they're lazy,
When they're short they're nasty, 1
Have you seen an overweight man,
Move his giant legs in bed,
Massaging his belly and rubbing his hair
While his looking at his feet in apprehension?
 
Just don't marry, ladies, please, just don't mary
Make movies instead,
Stay a virgin at your dad's place instead,
Become a waitress for a restaurant instead,
Breed a monkey, or a cat
Raise your arms high at the Opera,
Sell boxes of chocolates
You can take the veil, but maybe you shouldn't,
Dance naked like swine,
Be a streetwalker walkin' avenue du Bois,
Just don't get married ladies,
Don't get married.
 
Have you seen an awkward man,
Who shows up to diner late,
And he's got lipstick on his collar,
His legs a trembling mess?
 
Have you been to the cabaret with man,
A gentleman passed his expiration date,
Rubbing insistently against,
A fragrant innocent flower,
When they're stupid, they get on your nerve,
When they're strong, they're into sports,
When they're rich, they're skinflints,
When they're tough, they torture you.
 
Have you been-arm-to-arm with,
A scraggly rat-eyed man,
Twirling his three whiskers,
You seem to have bravado sir!
 
Just don't marry, ladies, do not marry
Pur your Gala gowns on,
And dance at Olympia
 
Change lovers for the fourth time this month,
Stoke the coals and keep burning,
Hide your money under the mattress,
At fifty it'll serve you well,
To pay those beautiful lil' guys,
With hollow heads, who're all arms,
A wonderful life it will be,
Don't marry, ladies,
Just don't marry.
 
  • 1. Hear that ladies? 5 foot 7 Vlad over here nasty
Thanks!
thanked 2 times

Open to suggestions to improve the translation

Submitted by Vladimir4757Vladimir4757 on Thu, 03/12/2020 - 17:29
Author's comments:

I'm more confident in this one than the other one. I hope someone helps with this though. I struggled so I'm marking it for proofing just in case (I'm certain i fudged up somewhere).

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Comments
silencedsilenced    Thu, 03/12/2020 - 21:13

Excellent choice! This is one funny song, and you did it justice. Really a fun and pleasant read.
You missed a few bits of colourful slang, but I won't hold that against you.

feignants -> lazy, slack, lazybones...

de son dodo -> to be honest I'm not familiar with that use of the word, but the meaning must be "bed".
"dodo" is a kid's word for "sleep", used in the famous "métro, boulot, dodo" (subway, work, sleep), a symbol of the daily grind.

les tifs -> like "les cheveux"

l'air pensif -> more like "looking in wonder at his feet". Trying to collect his thoughts, not looking very bright, basically Regular smile
"r'gardant" is "regardant" with the "e" muted. I find these quotes mightily annoying myself, that's a great example of how they can really become confusing.

Restez pucell' -> again these damn quotes, it's "pucelle" (a virgin). "stay a virgin living at your dad's"

bougnat -> the owner of a bar/café

Raise a monkey, or a cat -> rather "breed monkeys or cats" Regular smile

Levez la patte -> "patte" is a pesky word that can mean "hand" or "leg" depending on the context. Here it's about a dancer raising her leg, but "lever la patte" is rather used for cabaret dancers like in the Moulin Rouge, and coincidentally to describe an urinating dog Teeth smile

gagas -> from "gâteux" (senile, soft in the head). Dotards, or rather old lecherous swines, in that context Teeth smile

Soyez radeuse av'nue du Bois -> "radeuse" is a whore, "av'nue" is "avenue" (yet another damn confusing quote), i.e. "be a whore (working) on the Avenue du Bois". The "bois de Boulogne" is a wood near Paris famous for hosting lots of prostitutes. Or it's just a funny name he made up for the rhyme.

homme gêné -> lit. "an embarrassed man", "a man that feels awkward" but you could also say "did you see a man awkwardly come home with some lipstick on his collar" or something like that.

Du rouge à lèvres sur son col / Du flageolant dans la guibole -> the layout is wrong, it's still about the same guy, with some lipstick on his collar *and* passably tipsy Regular smile
That sent you off track for the next sentence, which starts talking about a different guy.

Se frotter avec insistance / Sur un' petite fleur d'innocence -> lit. "rubbing himself insistently against a small flower of innocence".
A slightly younger version of the aforementioned old swines, hitting on a young innocent girl, basically Regular smile

"prendre la braise" -> to be honest I don't know that expression, but [@Jadis] could surely help.

about note #3, I see no pun in French either. "l'artiche" is just one of the many slang words for "dough" (they keep the dough [for themselves]). "stingy" seems perfectly good to me. Or "skinflints" maybe? Whatever sounds funnier.

Avez-vous vu à votre bras
Un maigrichon aux yeux de rat
Friser ses trois poils de moustache
Et se redresser, l'air bravache -> again the layout is a disaster. It's a new stanza, beginning with the picture of a skinny, rat-eyed guy walking arm in arm with the girl, twirling a tip of his pitiful moustache and straightening up in a pathetic attempt at swaggering.
That should get you unstuck, let me know if you need some vocabulary.

Changez d'amant quat' fois par mois -> it's still an imperative, lit. "change your lover four times in a month" (take a new lover every week)

wonderful life it could be -> it will be (provided the girl stashed enough dough)

Vladimir4757Vladimir4757    Fri, 04/12/2020 - 02:18

Thank you Silenced! I’ll update it tomorrow morning with your suggestions. This was a fun song to translate even with the slang

silencedsilenced    Fri, 04/12/2020 - 08:04

That's the original performer (Michèle Arnaud) on the LP cover, but for some reason the audio doesn't match, it's another girl singing.
I've got my hands on the real deal though. Thanks Pinchus.

silencedsilenced    Fri, 04/12/2020 - 08:24

Yup, that's the one. I picked another source, but the audio is the same.
This being said, I remember a wonderful LP of Vian songs performed by various artists like Jacques Higelin, Philippe Clay, Mouloudji... It included an even funnier version of this song, but I can't remember the performer. Sounded a bit like Juliette Gréco, but it likely wasn't her.

silencedsilenced    Fri, 04/12/2020 - 07:27

Ah mince alors, je l'avais loupé celui-là. Merci !

JadisJadis    Fri, 04/12/2020 - 07:51

There is no pun in " Quand ils sont forts, ils font du sport", but the inner rhymes are funny (bêtes / embêtent, forts / sport, riches / artiche, durs / torturent).

"Prenez le voile ou l'prenez pas" means "Enter a closter or don't do it" (to become a nun or not).

Vladimir4757Vladimir4757    Fri, 04/12/2020 - 16:02

Okay not sure who singer is anymore. I went with what iTunes told me, but the second video link sounds familiar.

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