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Aire soy (English translation)

English translationEnglish (singable)
A A

Air am I

Versions: #1#2#3#4
An idea, a continental land or quick glance
Of their own accord
Springs to mind and clouds over, doesn't end up
Of their own accord
 
And nothing’s left
And nothing’s left
I touch you and kiss in my thoughts
There’s been, will be
Nothing, there's nothing
I fly off and keep flying on
 
Air am I upflowing
The wind, I’m not, the wind, the wind I’m not
Without you, I’m no one...
If there’s no you, there’s no, no me at all...
 
An escape, an SOS, or a stopover
Of their own accord
And mistrust which into feelings was transforming
Of their own accord
 
And nothing’s left
And nothing’s left
So nice is to fall at your feet
There’s been, will be
Nothing, there's nothing
So whose is this sky meant to be?
 
Air am I upflowing
The wind, I’m not, the wind, the wind I’m not
Without you, I’m no one...
If there’s no you, there’s no, no me at all...
 
And nothing’s left
And nothing’s left
So nice is to fall at your feet
There’s been, will be
Nothing, there's nothing
So whose is this sky meant to be?
 
Air am I upflowing
The wind, I’m not, the wind, the wind I’m not
Without you, I’m no one...
If there’s no you, there’s no, no me at all...(X2)
 
There’s no, no me at all...
 
Thanks!
thanked 10 times
Submitted by sandringsandring on Fri, 16/11/2018 - 11:50
Last edited by sandringsandring on Tue, 02/03/2021 - 06:55
Author's comments:

The singer associates with the air that goes up (in life), not the wind that moves from one place to another.

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SpanishSpanish

Aire soy

Comments
GeborgenheitGeborgenheit    Tue, 02/03/2021 - 06:42

Beautiful translation, just a few things, keeping in mind that you were going for a singable translation:

1) "Air am I" sounds really awkward, even for a poetic or singable translation. Best to just simply put "I Am Air".
2) But touch you and kiss in my thoughts - But to touch you and kiss you (This correction has the same number of syllables as the original line)
3) Air am I upflowing - I am air, up-flowing (Really like that last word you chose there, please keep it, just place the hyphen between "up" and "flowing")
4) So nice is to fall to your feet - How nice it is to fall at your feet (Sounds better here and it has the same number of syllables as the original line)
5) So whose is this sky meant to be? - So whose heaven is it meant to be? (Same with #4, sounds better here and it has the same number of syllables as the original line)

Hope this helps. As you probably noticed, syllable count is very important when it comes to doing singable translations, and especially equirhythmic translations. This translation obviously isn't equirhythmic but is still very singable and with my corrections, it will be even more singable.

sandringsandring    Tue, 02/03/2021 - 07:18

Hi, Geborgenheit.

Thank you for your suggestions. Some of them make sense, so I've made changes to my best knowledge, some just don't sing or agree with my perception. The number of syllables is not all, there's sentence stress as well, pauses, etc. Btw, "equirhythmic" is a word non-grata on my pages. It doesn't exist in English. I won't even talk about its equicrapic matter. Regular smile

GeborgenheitGeborgenheit    Tue, 02/03/2021 - 07:23

Lol “equicrapic” haha. It isn’t normally used in English, you’re right about that. I only use the word because that is what it is called here. But basically it means that the syllable count of the whole translation is exactly or 99% the same as the original text.

And regarding stress and pauses, sometimes yes they matter too, but in any case you definitely don’t need to worry about that if you don’t want to. It’s just a matter of preference. Your translation is still great without it being the e word.

GeborgenheitGeborgenheit    Tue, 02/03/2021 - 07:36
5

Even though you weren’t able to use all of my corrections you did use enough for me to give you these stars.

Though I’m just curious, can you at least replace “Air am I” with “I am air”? If not, do you mind explaining to me why you want to go with “Air am I”?

sandringsandring    Tue, 02/03/2021 - 07:40

Thank you, G. It's sweet of you.

In fact, there are three options here.

I am air - nothing special about it. Just like saying I'm a teacher. But don't you think it sounds a bit odd for a person to call themselves what they are not using a pattern for expressing common things?

Air I am - grammatically but not lexically acceptable. As a rule, it emphasizes location. Here I am

Air am I - stresses some quality/status different from others. And that's exactly what the Spanish lyrics mean.

Then am I
A happy fly,
If I live,
Or if I die.

GeborgenheitGeborgenheit    Tue, 02/03/2021 - 16:32

Regarding “I Am Air”, in a poem I don’t think it’s odd no, I actually personally think it sounds better than “Air am I” but then again it seems as though we have had different experiences that perhaps shape our differing viewpoints over this, and that’s fine. I personally have never read anything that had a title like that.

However since you seem to have a very good reason for leaving the title as it is, then yeah you can just leave it. We can agree to disagree. But also we both speak English just as well (plus you teach English) so I trust you.

sandringsandring    Tue, 02/03/2021 - 07:28

I'm only worried about it not being the f-word Regular smile

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