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שובי אל ביתי (Shuvi El Beyti) (Japanese translation)

Japanese translationJapanese
A A

家に帰ってきてくれ

家に帰ってきてくれ
僕の目を前のようにみてくれ
また夕日が落ちて もう遅くなった
 
部屋に帰ってきてくれ
今は冬であっても 覚えてほしいのは
よく見れば 幸せな日がくる
 
君の瞳に 光と無邪気さが宿る
幸せな日や行き交う哀しみがある
きらめく星の光と同じ夢もある
君はいつも美しい そして今日も
 
Thanks!
Submitted by tonyltonyl on Sun, 28/02/2021 - 20:49
Last edited by tonyltonyl on Sat, 06/03/2021 - 16:20

שובי אל ביתי (Shuvi El Beyti)

Translations of "שובי אל ביתי (Shuvi ..."
Japanese tonyl
Comments
Jelly CatJelly Cat    Wed, 03/03/2021 - 06:50

Proofreading:

僕の家に帰ってくれ → (お)家に帰ってきてくれ
A personal pronoun is better left out. If they mean "I want you to come back home", 帰ってくる sounds better. Adding お is optional.

僕の目の中を再び見ててくれ → 帰ってきて僕の目をみてくれ(or 僕の目をみつめてくれ)
見ててくれ is much closer to "keep an eye on me" or "watch me what I'm doing now". Note that the Japanese progressive doesn't work that much like English does and vice versa.

また夕日が落ちて もう遅くなった
No problem. I like the way it says 夕日が落ちる.

----

僕の部屋に帰ってくれ → 部屋に帰ってきてくれ
The same goes.

今は冬であっても覚えてほしいのは
No ploblem.

よく見れば 幸せな日がくる
No ploblem.

-----

君の瞳に 光と無邪気が保っている → 君の瞳に 光と無邪気さが宿る (or 保たれている)
We generally don't say が保つ but 保たれる instead. 宿る(stay) is an alternative.

幸せな日か ふっと帰ってくる悲しみか → 移り変わる(or 行き交う)幸せと哀しみの日がある.
I'm not sure what the translation means is "happiness and a sad day" or "happy and sad days" but I took the latter. It seems to be more fit.

照らしている星の光で そんな同じ夢もある → 輝く(or 輝いている)星の光や同じ夢もある
If the star shines, as an intransitive, we say "星が輝く, きらめく, 光る" but we don't "星が照らす". The latter should take a direct object to make it complete.

君はいつもそれほど美しい そして今日も → 君はいつも美しい そして今日も
それほど is not necessary for this case. We often say それほどAしない, meaning "It does not A more than you think", as in それほどお得じゃない(It doesn't sound like a better deal than you think), 今日はそれほど寒くない(today isn't so cold).

tonyltonyl    Sat, 06/03/2021 - 16:14

It's just that it's not their home, only his, which is why I thought I should leave it.

Some of these I kinda knew, like 宿る. 保ってる was a little weird for me but I didn't know what was better.

I'm not sure what the translation means is "happiness and a sad day" --
יש יום מאושר או עצב שבא חוזר פתאום
There is a happy day or sadness that suddenly comes back. (this is the exact translation)

帰ってきて僕の目をみてく, the meaning is not "return" but "come back to doing something"

夕日が落ちる, the original literally means "the evening is going down", so I tried to find something similar in Japanese.

君はいつも美しい - here he says "How beautiful you are always" meaning she is very beautiful, so I wanted to add something similar.

Jelly CatJelly Cat    Sun, 07/03/2021 - 05:02

>Some of these I kinda knew, like 宿る. 保ってる was a little weird for me but I didn't know what was better.
宿る is a common translation corresponding to "to lie" or "to stay" in English. This might not perfectly sound like what "is kept" refers to but this is the best I could come up with.

>יש יום מאושר או עצב שבא חוזר פתאום
There is a happy day or sadness that suddenly comes back. (this is the exact translation)
I see. I think 幸せな日や行き交う哀しみがある catches it very well.

>帰ってきて僕の目をみてく, the meaning is not "return" but "come back to doing something"
Got it. Just thought of the literal meaning: he wanted her to come back (to his place) and look him in the eye.

>夕日が落ちる, the original literally means "the evening is going down", so I tried to find something similar in Japanese.
夕日が落ちる is fairly comprehendable but 夕日が沈む(lit. the evening sun sinks) sounds more common if that's what you wanted to know.

>君はいつも美しい - here he says "How beautiful you are always" meaning she is very beautiful, so I wanted to add something similar.
In any way, それほど isn't a favorable option. If I went a little further, I'd say いつもながら君はなんと美しいことだろう(lit. I'm always thinking how beautiful you are) but it's actually too long to fall into the very line.

tonyltonyl    Wed, 03/03/2021 - 21:16

Wow that's a lot.
I'll go over it, probably shouldn't translate into Japanese yet :.)

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