Igeethecat
Thu, 16/09/2021 - 00:51
Love the title!
✕
Translation
Sun on a Silver Platter
1The shroud of twilight fog hangs over,
The path ahead lit up by the passing time,
How many trinkets are in your pocket,
And how many trinkets are in your heart.
Give me a bedtime story, one of fate,
[One] That pulls me into terror,
[One] That takes me into a dark place,
[One] That carries me through this world in your arms.
[Cary me to] Where there is light.
Where above us is a large sky,
And shinning over the world,
A ball of fire.
The first ray of which,
The Herald of Victory,
And when a spark touches down,
It does so in my palms.
Liquid sun in a silver platter,
Turning shadows into smoke,
I didn't have a second to look back,
At the gray mass he became.
Behind me a raging blizzard,
Dancing circles around me, the centuries go by.
And all I could touch, just barely,
Felt like snow
From what bloodlines does its shine comes from,
From what peaks does its love comes from,
And from what winds does its fire come from,
And should I be shielded from it or not?
Show me the faithful brotherhood of the night,
Who were blinded during the battle for brightness
Be their guide and lead them,
That's as it is written. The end.
[Cary me to]Where there is light.
Where above us is a large sky,
And shinning over the world,
A ball of fire.
The first ray of which,
The Herald of Victory,
And when a spark touches down,
It does so in my palms.
Liquid sun in a silver platter,
Turning shadows into smoke,
I didn't have a second to look back,
At the gray mass he became.
Behind me a raging blizzard,
Dancing circles around me, the centuries go by.
And all I could touch, just barely,
Felt like snow
- 1. ...йокоп - иинеживд в атнирибал йеревд ялетинарх сьлуП Пуль хранителя дверей лабиринта в движени - покой Translated : The bullets of the gate-keeper lay peacefully.
✕
Alisa (Russia): Top 3
| 1. | Небо славян (Nebo slavyan) |
| 2. | Трасса Е-95 (Trassa E-95) |
| 3. | Вот так (Vot tak) |
Comments
Igeethecat
Thu, 16/09/2021 - 00:51
Igeethecat
Fri, 17/09/2021 - 01:41
I don't get this song
Ночь да туман -- instantly recalled https://словатекст.рф/песни/песни-военных-лет_эх-дороги-пыль-да-туман-хо...
Бубенцы-- no idea, but спрятать в карман == утаить
Принять на грудь == почувствовать ответственность
[@Pinchus] мамуся просит помощи
Pinchus
Fri, 17/09/2021 - 13:15
Мамусь, слабоват мой английский такое переводить, тем более, что я местами и русский текст не понимаю. Однако, в английском ошибок хватает, причем даже там, где все довольно понятно. Но лучше [@St. Sol]'а попросить помочь - он специалист по Алисе.
Бубенцы, думаю, взялись от "птицы-тройки". Что такое "принять на грудь" - все мы знаем. Но принять на грудь "бубенцы" - уже довольно загадочно.
Igeethecat
Fri, 17/09/2021 - 22:16
Спасибо и на том
А то ща как приму на грудь -- мало не покажется
BlackSea4ever
Fri, 17/09/2021 - 22:19
Что такое "принять на грудь" - все мы знаем — as if…
https://dic.academic.ru/dic.nsf/dic_synonims/260816/принять
Kevin Rainbow
Fri, 17/09/2021 - 23:33
Definitely a liberal translation, I think.
Время отмечать пройденный путь
"Time to celebrate the path travelled" (?)
Not sure how you interpret this as "With only the light of time lighting the way"
" Искрой лёг
В мою ладонь."
Should be in the past tense (лёг), I believe.
As a spark touched down
In my palm"
From what bloodlines does its shine comes from,
From what peaks does its love comes from
Since it is used with "does", "comes" should be "come" in these lines.
Igeethecat
Sun, 19/09/2021 - 03:26
Hate "лёг"
Vladimir4757
Mon, 20/09/2021 - 14:47
I'm going over your suggestions. I'm not ignoring y'all
Vladimir4757
Mon, 20/09/2021 - 14:48
I'm glad to see a discussion over this song as I want to better translate it. I'll mark it for proofreading
Vladimir4757
Mon, 20/09/2021 - 15:52
Alright I've gone over everyone's opinions and will begin to attempt a retranslation of the song. Alisa's lyrics can be quite challenging for me, but I try. I'm glad you have all given me feedback and I hope I can make this translation better
Vladimir4757
Thu, 19/05/2022 - 13:22
I'm not proud of my translation for this song. I'm just not. I feel it was sloppy and not done right. I'm going over my translation again and seeing if I can improve it using your feedback and some hindsight.
Igeethecat
Sun, 22/05/2022 - 03:52
Vlad, don't blame yourself, this song is challenging even for natives :)
One more hint for you:
Наливное солнце --- there's no such a thing imho; наливное яблоко == спелое яблоко => отсюда метафора
Vladimir4757
Tue, 24/05/2022 - 14:30
Thanks Igee, I appreciate it. I think I've got something I'm proud of that I'll post around noon my time when I get a lunch break from work
Igeethecat
Fri, 27/05/2022 - 04:42
What is your time zone?
Vladimir4757
Wed, 29/06/2022 - 18:31
Eastern time. My mental health took a nose dive and I’m trying to get back on my feet
Russia is waging a disgraceful war on Ukraine. Stand With Ukraine!
About translator
Open to suggestions to improve the translation