Yesterday I translated In Between Dreams. I know that it isn't what a native French speaker would have written, but I think that at least the grammar is mostly correct. There are three places in the song, though, where I'm really not satisfied with my translation, and hope that I can get some advice here.
1. The second verse, "These days my heart feels like it's carved from a piece of solid stone/I want nobody in my life, I'm happiest alone/And then my house of cards falls down, I see it's all a sham/And I recognize how tired of lies I am." "I see it's all a sham" means that I see that all of my emotional coldness is actually fake, that I am trying to hide my unhappiness from myself by pretending, even to myself, that I'm happy alone. I translated it as "Je vois que tout est imposture," does that make sense?
2. in the third verse, "I'm counting the cost of what's worth taking and what's long gone." I wrote "Je compte le coût de ce qui vaut d'être emporté et ce qui est rien depuis longtemps" which I'm pretty sure does not make much sense. "What's long gone" is somehow the opposite of "what's worth taking," so I'm interpreting it as "what doesn't exist any more" -- not gone away to someplace, but having become nothing.
3. In the fifth verse, "Nothing's quite as settled as it seems." That is, it seemed (before) that things were settled, which means I was living a stable existence, that I expected my life to continue as it was, and that every issue in my life was neatly resolved. But this line says that actually, nothing in my life is entirely stable and resolved, so how would you translate it? I wrote "Tout n'est pas aussi réglé qu'il semble" which I don't think is right.
Thank you for advice!
In Between Dreams/Entre deux rêves: Three liines need review please