دریغ (Darigh) (English translation)

دریغ

دروغه، روز دوباره، یک دروغ دیگره
می‌دونی، دام محبت، از رهایی بهتره
 
من و تو همیشه کنج غم می‌مونیم
من و تو قدر شادی رو نمی‌دونیم
 
نه تنها خورشید ما گرمی‌هاشو از دست میده،
آسمون فیروزه رنگی‌هاشو حالا برچیده
 
خدایا! این مردم کوکی چی میگن؟
دریغا! اینا عاشق نمیشن
 
خدایا! این مردم کوکی چی میگن؟
دریغا! اینا عاشق نمیشن،
نمیشن،
نمیشن
 
Submitted by aariapooraariapoor on Sat, 27/11/2021 - 17:04
English translationEnglish (rhyming, singable)
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Alas

It is a lie, another day, is just another lie
You know, love's trap is better than freely getting by
 
You and I are will be always in the corner of sadness
You and I won't appreciate the worth of happiness
 
Not only our sun's losing its heat away
Now the sky's taken its turquoises away
 
O, God! What are these mechanical people talking about?
Alas! These [people] do not fall in love, no doubt
 
O, God! What are these mechanical people talking about?
Alas! These [people] do not fall in love, no doubt1
They don't,
They don't
 
  • 1. Literal: "These don't fall in love" the part "no doubt" is just for the rhyming purpose and increasing the length of the sentence
Thanks!
thanked 5 times

در حسرت دیدار تو آواره‌ترینم
𝐿𝑜𝓃𝑔𝒾𝓃𝑔 𝓉𝑜 𝓂𝑒𝑒𝓉 𝓎𝑜𝓊,
𝐼'𝓂 𝓉𝒽𝑒 𝓂𝑜𝓈𝓉 𝓈𝓉𝓇𝒶𝓎 𝑜𝓃𝑒 😒
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Help to improve AvaNevis, An Auto Transliterator
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🎼〰♫〰〰♪〰〰♫〰〰♪〰〰♫〰〰♪〰🎶

Submitted by aariapooraariapoor on Sun, 28/11/2021 - 22:10
Added in reply to request by SpiritOfLightSpiritOfLight
Last edited by aariapooraariapoor on Tue, 30/11/2021 - 02:32
Author's comments:

You and I
won't appreciate
the worth of happiness 😔
---------------------------------
Heart Thanks to [@Flora Lama]'s suggestion for improving the last verse
Heart [@SpiritOfLight] With love

Translations of "دریغ (Darigh)"
English R,Saariapoor
Comments
florboxflorbox    Mon, 29/11/2021 - 19:22

Perfect translation, i liked the rhyming a lot! I always appreciate those who attempt this kind of translations!
If you would allow me, i would suggest :
" About what are those mechanical people talk"
so as you'll have the same sound ( o) you have in the next line
"Alas! falling in love is something they can not"

Of course this is not rhyming, but close enough. Regular smile

aariapooraariapoor    Mon, 29/11/2021 - 22:20

Hi Flora, thanks a lot for your attention and kind words.
Yes please! ☺️ I'll be glad receiving suggestions and feedback.

Last night I was a bit sleepy and this last verse made me frustrated, I changed it many times and still wasn't satisfying because "can not" is not in the original text. The literal translation is: "Alas! They don't fall in love"

Also, I think your sentence needs an "ing" at its end like: "About what are these people talking"

Here are some of the previous ones (which I remembered) please check them and let me know what you think:

... What are these ... talking about?
... falling in love is something they do not
... They don't fall in love, no doubt
... Falling in love is what they do not
... Falling in love is what they do not
... (Something I don't recall) naught
... Falling in love is not what they think about

... What do these mechanical people say?
... To falling in love they say nay!
... They don't fall in love, do they?
... Falling in love for them is not okay

... What are these mechanical people saying?
... (Can't recall) ...ing

Other suggestions:
... What is that these... talk of?
... They don't fall in love

... What do these ... want?
... Falling in love is not what they want

Thanks again and looking forward for seeing your beautiful poem soon 😉😬

aariapooraariapoor    Mon, 29/11/2021 - 22:32

I personally like this better:

... What do these ... talk of?
... They do not fall in love

But don't know if it's correct grammatically

florboxflorbox    Mon, 29/11/2021 - 23:28

" They don't fall in love, no doubt"... perfect!!

..and you won't need to change anything in the previous verse !

Thank you for letting us get into your translation "laboratory", translation is a mind-blowing procedure, that's for sure.
Frustration is a good start and mid-night hours the best time to deal with it Regular smile
Good job!

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