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Le Guide Suprême (English translation)

Proofreading requested

Le Guide Suprême

C’est un pâle voyou, un seigneur illusoire,
Qui ourdit en secret ses complots souterrains.
D’un immense pays il s’est fait le parrain ;
Il lui faut le pouvoir, et le gaz, et la gloire.
Pour lui, bien sûr, le droit des gens est accessoire ;
Pour des millions d’entre eux il est seul souverain.
On l’écoute, on l’encense, on le hait, on le craint,
Il berce le troupeau par des chants de victoire.
Ses rivaux balayés, il se prend pour un Dieu ;
La guerre et sa rumeur lui paraissent piquantes
– Maladive obsession, chez les tyrans fréquente.
Et pour faire aboutir ses projets ambitieux,
Encourageant ses chiens en agitant les rênes,
Il rêve désormais d’assujettir l’Ukraine.
Submitted by JadisJadis on Thu, 27/01/2022 - 09:19
Submitter's comments:

Ce poème est bâti sur les rimes d'un sonnet de José-Maria de Heredia, L'Oubli.

Toute ressemblance avec une personne existante ne saurait être qu'une malheureuse coïncidence.

English translationEnglish
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The supreme guide

Versions: #1#2
It's a pale bum, his lordship illusory,
Who secretly hatches his subterranean plots.
He made himself the godfather of an endless land
He needs the power, and the gas, and the glory.
For him, of course, the people's right is secondary;
For millions of them he's souverain supreme.
They listen to him, they praise, they hate, they fear him
He lulls the herd with his chants of victory.
On the bare banks he sees himself as God;
The war and its rumor seems to him exciting
- sickly obsession, amongst the tyrans frequent.
And to make sure his ambitious projects succeed,
Encouraging his dogs by shaking their rein,
His dream is now to subjugate Ukraine.
thanked 1 time

While reading in English or French, I find myself translating in my head in Romanian. Great exercise, I reccomend it.

Submitted by sanducusanducu on Fri, 28/01/2022 - 11:25
Added in reply to request by JadisJadis
The author of translation requested proofreading.
It means that he/she will be happy to receive corrections, suggestions etc about the translation.
If you are proficient in both languages of the language pair, you are welcome to leave your comments.
Please help to translate "Le Guide Suprême"
Jadis: Top 3
JadisJadis    Fri, 28/01/2022 - 12:56

Hi Alex, thanks for translating; I have a few remarks :

S1 v.1 : I'm not sure if "a pale bum" is understandable in English, it would rather be "a petty thug" or something ; I would say for ex : He is a petty thug, an illusory lord ("he is" would be better than "it is')
S1 v.2 : I thing that "underground plots" would be better than "subterranean". It means hidden, concealed, secret.
S2 v.2 : "souverain" is not an English word, it would be "sovereign", but one could say it differently : the only Caesar, the only king to rule, etc.
S3 v.1 : "ses rivaux balayés" means that he swept his rivals aside
S3 v.2 : "seem" rather than "seems" (subject = the war and its [rumble ?])
S3 v.3 : rather "a" sickly obsession
S4 v.2 : normally it should be "while shaking the reins" (of the sleigh). I'm not sure whether one can use the singular here, even if of course the rhyme would be better.

sanducusanducu    Fri, 28/01/2022 - 19:10

Vous êtes sévère, aujourd’hui, Jadis
S1 v.2 " I thing that "underground plots" would be better than "subterranean". It means hidden, concealed, secret ".> I know what it means, it
was my first choice, I changed later, it sounded better to my ears, and it is the same thing, in essence. B.t.w., it should be " I THINK, not THING :- ))
S3 v.1 : "ses rivaux balayés" means that he swept his rivals aside> Yes, how stupid I am! I read it wrong, rives instead of "rivaux",I'll change
it. But, between you and me, God also left some bare lands in His track.
I'll do better in romanian, I promise.

JadisJadis    Fri, 28/01/2022 - 19:31

True, who am I to argue with God? Regular smile
I thing, no, I think that I was very kind in writing 'balayer', I could have said murdered, poisoned, thrown in jail. But I'm naturally benevolent, as everybody knows.

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