Sektor Gaza - Ilya Muromets (Илья Муромец) (English translation)


Ilya Muromets (Илья Муромец)

Илья выехал погулять,
Чтоб врагам накостылять.
Видит, камешек стоит,
Надпись на камню блястит:
Пойдешь прямо - там жена,
Вправо ход - коню хана,
Влево ход - будешь убит.
Илья хер почесал о щит!
Илья Муромец - богатырь!
Илья Муромец всех победил!
Илья защитит Русский народ!
Илья Муромец всех забьет!
Илья пошел налево: там стоит изба,
А в избе Баба-Яга.
Он ее нагнул рачком,
Отодрал и все пучком!
Илья пошел направо: там сидит соловей
И свистит на всех людей.
Хей, соловей, ты со мною знаком?
Ну ща ты будешь петухом!
Илья пошел прямо: там сидит жена.
А на хера ж ты мне нужна!
Лучше выпью десять чар
И пойду мудохать татар!
Submitted by SaintMark on Fri, 16/09/2016 - 18:41
Last edited by SaintMark on Sun, 18/09/2016 - 19:34
Submitter's comments:

Ilya Muromets is a folk hero of the kievan Rus.

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English translation

Ilya Muromets

Versions: #1#2
Ilya went out for a walk
To kick the ass of his foes
He sees a stone standing
And the writing on it reads:
"If you go straight - you'll find a wife
If you go right - your horse will die
If you go left - you yourself will die"
IIya scratched his dick against his shield.
Ilya Muromets is a tough guy
Ilya Muromets beat them all
Ilya will protect the russian people
Ilya Muromets will kick everyone's ass
Ilya went left: a house was standing there
And there was a witch in the house
He put her in the doggy style position
Fucked her and everything was all right.
Ilya went right: there he found Nightingale the Robber (1)
And he whistled to everyone
"Hey, Nightingale, do you know me?
You're about to become a faggot now"
Ilya went straight: there he found a wife.
"What the fuck do I need you for?
I better drink 10 bottles of vodka
And go kick some tatar ass.." (2)
The heaven for height, and the earth for depth, and the heart of kings is unsearchable. (Prov 25:3 KJV)
Submitted by SaintMark on Thu, 30/11/2017 - 15:32
Author's comments:

TL mine based on the other translation by Liao Guangzhang
(1) Nightingale the robber and Baba Yaga are traditional antagonists in russian folk tales
(2) the Tatars, historic enemies of the people of Rus.

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