Krótki wiersz o długotrwałej miłości (Ukrainian translation)

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Polish

Krótki wiersz o długotrwałej miłości

Wiosna za oknem pachnie pierwszym deszczem,
mimo iż jesień włosy oszroniła
- kocham cię jeszcze.
 
Nie odjedziemy tym samym pociągiem,
bo inną trasę wytyczyło życie
- kocham cię ciągle.
 
Słowa nadziei, które w wiersz układam,
rzuć na mogiłę i pamiętaj Miła
- kocham cię nadal.
 
Chociaż w nieznane niesiony rozpędem
może cię spotkam w bezkresnym błękicie
- i kochać będę.
 
© Wieslaw Musialowski
 
Submitted by pmusialowski on Thu, 26/07/2018 - 05:56
Last edited by pmusialowski on Sat, 28/07/2018 - 15:41
Submitter's comments:

Special acknowledgement for the artistic translation of the original text into Russian goes to Maria.
The Russian translation of the poem made by Maria was checked and approved on 28/07/2018. The translator used interesting handful of ideas and techniques to mirror the original text with high accuracy while creating new artistic quality in the domain of the Russian language. The mentioned translation is the first artistic translation of the poem into Russian language; as such, it can be thought of as an separate work of art.

Grateful acknowledgement for the literal translation of the original text into Ukrainian goes to Alexander Laskavtsev.
The Ukrainian translation of the poem made by Alexander Laskavtsev was discussed and checked for correctness on 28/07/2018. The translation reproduces the original with high accuracy while maintaining its artistic quality. The mentioned translation is the first literal translation of the poem into Ukrainian language, therefore it should be treated as a reference point.

Grateful acknowledgement for the literal translation of the original text into Italian goes to Joshua.
The Italian translation of the poem made by Joshua was checked for correctness on 28/07/2018. The translation reproduces the original with high accuracy while maintaining its artistic quality. The mentioned translation is the first literal translation of the poem into Italian language, therefore it should be treated as a reference point.

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Ukrainian translation

Короткий вірш про довготривалу любов

Весна за вікном пахне першим дощем
хоч осінь волосся моє посріблила
- люблю тебе ще.
 
Не від'їжджаємо тим самим потягом
бо інший маршрут проклало життя -
- ще люблю тебе я
 
Надії слова, що я в вірш укладаю,
кинь на могилу, і пам'ятай, мила,
- люблю тебе й далі.
 
Хоча й у незнане несе мене імпульс,
зустрінемось, може, в безкраїй блакиті,
- і буду любити.
 
Please don't hesitate to correct me, especially if the translation language is your native language.
With Best Regards,
© Alexander Laskavtsev
Submitted by Alexander Laskavtsev on Fri, 27/07/2018 - 07:47
Added in reply to request by pmusialowski
Last edited by Alexander Laskavtsev on Sat, 28/07/2018 - 11:35
Comments
pmusialowski    Fri, 27/07/2018 - 07:51

This is fantastic! Ukrainian is really beautiful.

Alexander Laskavtsev    Fri, 27/07/2018 - 07:58

Also it is very similar to Polish, however it is hard for Ukrainian to translate poetry from Polish, and there are at least two reasons:
1) Polish words has a constant position of stress;
2) You Poles often spare vowels (IMHO) Wink smile

pmusialowski    Sat, 28/07/2018 - 08:06

Hello, Alexander! I only want to ask about one thing:

осінне волосся хоча й посивіло - in the original it is said that the autum silvered or grayed the hair, autumn of life probably

Igeethecat    Sat, 28/07/2018 - 08:19

Просто поменять прилагательное на существительное, так?

pmusialowski    Sat, 28/07/2018 - 08:22

As for this phrase, Russian translation is perfect, Maria!