לילה (Lilah) (English translation)

English translationEnglish (poetic)
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Laila

Versions: #1#2
Come to me because it's hard for me to breathe
It's hard for me to breathe
You are everything. Just give me a moment to savor
Give me a moment to savor
 
I'm distracted and I see a lot of lights far away
I don't have any happiness, it hasn't flowed in my vein for a long time
 
Laila
If you only call me I will always come
The light will return, the night will return to my life
'Cause I'm yours and I won't be for anyone but you
You were always telling me
"I wish you be here with me."
 
Give me more, you left me thirsty just give me a moment to drink
Give me now, I can't wait, I can't wait.
My horizon is dazzling and I see lights from afar
And on nights when it's late, the violins still play for you
 
Thanks!
thanked 4 times
This is a poetic translation - deviations from the meaning of the original are present (extra words, extra or omitted information, substituted concepts).

-ˋˏ ༻❁༺ ˎˊ༻❁༺
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the translation
-ˋˏ ༻❁༺ ˎˊ--ˋ༻❁༺

Submitted by MJ-Q8MJ-Q8 on Tue, 07/12/2021 - 16:49
Added in reply to request by Fares TouFares Tou
Last edited by MJ-Q8MJ-Q8 on Fri, 10/12/2021 - 18:08

לילה (Lilah)

Comments
Thomas222Thomas222    Fri, 10/12/2021 - 16:38

Proofreading as requested:

1) תן לי אותך כי קצת קשה לי לנשום —> Come to me because it's hard for me to breathe

A more accurate translation would be: “Give me some of you” or “Give yourself to me”.

2) לא את הכל רק תן לי רגע לטעום —> You are everything. Just give me a moment to savor

She tells him not to give her everything (not all of himself), only some. So the translation could be: “Not all of you” or “Not everything”.

3) אצלי האופק מסונוור ואני רואה במרחקים אורות —> I'm distracted and I see a lot of lights far away

Maybe she is distracted, but a more accurate translation would be: “My horizon is blinding”. Also, the second part of that sentence could also be: “and I can see lights in the distance”.

4) לילה —> Laila

Laila can certainly be a name, most likely a woman’s name, but here it simply means: “Night”.

5) וזה חוזר אלי בלילה —> The light will return, the night will return to my life

Honestly I’m not sure why you’ve translated it this way. I’m a bit confused. She simply says: “And it’s coming back to me at night” / “And in the night it’s coming back to me”.

6) ״כדאי לך, להיות ביחד איתי פה״ —> "You'd better be here with me."

Sounds a bit like a threat. I would say: “You should be here with me”.

Other than that, the translation’s okay Regular smile

MJ-Q8MJ-Q8    Fri, 10/12/2021 - 17:50

Thank you so much for your feedback and comment
Thumbs up Regular smile
A translation has been updated to become a poetic translation✅

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