
I have here some corrections and suggestions for your translation:
Hurted my eyes => Hurt my eyes (In English, "hurt" is used for both present and past tense)
And also huted darkness => And also hurt the darkness
I screamed them to wake up => I screamed at them to wake up
"Among the fog and the city" sounds strange. It's not easy to translate this Spanish sentence completely literally, but I would consider something like "In the city through the fog"
Otra vez quisiera hablar => "I want to talk again" is fine, but "I'd like to talk again" reflects the Spanish meaning a little better.
I was walking in dreams => You aren't wrong, but "In my dreams, I was walking" sounds more natural
Through cold desert streets => Through cold, desolate streets (This is the only one where the meaning would actually be misunderstood by a native English speaker)
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