Gela Guralia - Na Vostok (На Восток) (English translation)

Russian

Na Vostok (На Восток)

Если солнца так мало,
смело рисуй своё.
Если вьюга настала,
ты победи её.
Чтоб твоя звезда засияла,
так не ведая преград.
в мире, где сердца единым стучат.
 
Знай,что цель ведет сквозь года
там, где станет явью мечта -
как два крыла нам.
Там тернистый путь на Восток
нас сплотил и крепко связал сто дорог.
 
Если горы и реки,
вдруг на пути твоём.
Им не стать той помехой,
вместе мы всё пройдём.
Чтоб твоя душа совершала,
перелёт вокруг Земли,
чтоб твоя звезда засияла вдали
 
Знай,что цель ведет сквозь года
там, где станет явью мечта -
как два крыла нам.
Там тернистый путь на Восток
нас сплотил и крепко связал сто дорог.
 
Submitted by Svetlana Gorkún on Wed, 21/02/2018 - 01:37
Last edited by Svetlana Gorkún on Sat, 24/02/2018 - 22:16
Submitter's comments:

Music & Lyrics: Zarif Norov

Align paragraphs
English translation

To the East

Should there be not enough sun,
just draw your own,
should a blizzard come,
just master it,
so that your star would shine
without having any obstacles
in the world where hearts beat as one.
 
Be sure that a goal leads through the years:
there where a dream will come true
like our two wings –
there a thorny path to the East
united us and bound tightly hundred roads.
 
Should mountains and rivers
occur suddenly on you path,
they won’t be that hindrance,
together we will get through everything,
so that your soul would make
a flight around the Earth,
so that your star would shine from afar.
 
Be sure that a goal leads through the years:
there where a dream will come true
like our two wings –
there a thorny path to the East
united us and bound tightly hundred roads.
 
This work (if it isn’t sourced) is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike 4.0 International License. Don’t forget to press the green "Thanks!" button if my translation was helpful (no registration’s required).
Submitted by Ivan U7n on Sat, 24/02/2018 - 20:37
Added in reply to request by Svetlana Gorkún
Last edited by Ivan U7n on Mon, 26/02/2018 - 16:52
Author's comments:

The weird grammar is intentional, for the original isn’t a piece of cake either.

More translations of "Na Vostok (На ..."
EnglishIvan U7n
Please help to translate "Na Vostok (На ..."
See also
Comments
Ivan U7n    Mon, 26/02/2018 - 10:34

@Brat, knowing your love for disassembling translations, I have this one for you to check. Wink smile

Brat    Mon, 26/02/2018 - 15:57

Well, it's a nice work, overally, but I have some things to mention.

First of all, conditionals using "Should there be" seem as being too formal to me, but nevertheless they have their charm. I've noticed that it's usually very difficult to translate conditionals from English into Russian and vice versa, so that there is usually a gap in meaning. It may happen due to different perception of possibilities and probabilities by Russians and foreigners. Wink smile

like two wings for us ->it looks queer, but so does the original line. I'm afraid, I can't say definitely what it means in Russian, but I suppose it's like "as giving us two wings"... Though I may be wrong.

be suddenly -> It would be better to say "occur" even without "suddenly", or with it, if you like this word. (it's just to avoid the repetitive use of "be" - in the next line) Regular smile

they won’t be the hindrance->they won’t be that hindrance (I think it's better to say so, though the original is too weird for me)

we will get though everything,->we will get through everything, Regular smile a typo Regular smile

would shine in the distance.-> would shine from afar. (it's more likely to be meant so... or it can be 'would shine afar', that's shorter)

Ivan U7n    Mon, 26/02/2018 - 17:13

I think the conditionals should stay as they are, because the verbs (and their tenses) in the original are overall crazy. My first variant had "if" for conditionals, but they looked even weirder: "if there are not…", "if a blizzard come".

I have the same inkling of the meaning as you, thus I have decided to make it as "like our two wings" as the continuation of the previous line.

"occur" -- accepted.

"that hindrance" -- accepted, I think here it implies "the hindrance that can stop us".

"through" -- oops, thanks!

"from afar" -- accepted, although I'm not sure this is the exact meaning.

The original is bizarre, that is why I sought an independent view, for which I thank you, by the way. Wink smile

Brat    Mon, 26/02/2018 - 18:45

Well, about conditionals... ughm... I feel it's like "May there be no shining sun - you can draw your own one" (I love rhyming lines, yeah...)
"May a river come across - don't you ever give a toss" - and so on.
When rhyming, those darned conditionals sound better than they actually are, that's why I prefer sticking to poetic licence... Teeth smile

Ivan U7n    Mon, 26/02/2018 - 19:09

When I un-shelf my poetic license, there is a lot of freedom I can indulge in. But this one due to its controversy better be fully prosaic, this way it might have at least some sense. Teeth smile