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Never Google Your Symptoms (Chinese translation)

  • Artist: Henrik Widegren
  • Song: Never Google Your Symptoms 13 translations
  • Translations: Bulgarian, Chinese, Dutch, French, German #1, #2, Greek, Italian, Polish, Russian, Spanish, Turkish, Ukrainian
  • Requests: Arabic, Belarusian, Hebrew
English

Never Google Your Symptoms

One evening, my father said: My son
I’m dying and soon I’ll be gone
But before my final farewell:
Hear me. And hear me well
Do whatever you want to do
Have a plan or roll the dice
But one thing is strictly taboo
Please, follow my advice
 
Never google your symptoms
That is my only prescription
You get a hundred diagnoses
And medieval prognoses
Every sign is a serious condition
 
If you google “cough” and “diagnosis”
You have got tuberculosis
And if you google “fever and red”
You’ve got Ebola and soon will be dead
And if you google “I’ve a runny nose”
It’s CSF. Your brain is leaking juice!
And if you google itch and prognosis:
Anaphylactic shock or psychosis
 
So never google your symptoms
Seldom it brings any wisdom
You want to discover
But you might uncover
That you have an extra chromosome
 
So this is what I heard my father say
And then he closed his eyes and passed away
The autopsy report was very clear
Death from hypochondric fear
Which is custom
When you google
Your symptoms
 
Never google your symptoms
The hit list is never awesome
Pain in your left arm?
Heart attack alarm!
Do you feel a little weak? Yes,
You’ve got ALS!
If you have a slight anemia
You’ve got leukemia!
Are you a little crazy?
You’ve got ADHD
So never, ever google
Your symptoms!
 
Submitted by Alexander FreiAlexander Frei on Fri, 06/09/2019 - 06:12
Last edited by Hansi K_LauerHansi K_Lauer on Mon, 09/09/2019 - 03:41
Chinese translationChinese
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絕不谷歌你的症狀

有一天晚上,父親說:我的兒呀
我要死了,且很快地我就會走
但在我最後的告別之前:
聽我的話,並且好好記住
去做任何你想要做的事
不論是有計劃或者是擲骰子決定
但有件事是嚴格禁忌的
拜託,按照我的建議來吧
 
絕不谷歌你的症狀1
那是我唯一的要求2
你從那得到上百個診斷
和中世紀的預期後果3
每個跡看來都像是個嚴重的狀態
 
如果你用谷歌搜尋了“咳嗽”和“診斷”
你像是已經得了肺結核
如果你用谷歌搜索“發燒和發熱”
你像是已經有了埃博拉病毒,且很快就會死了
如果你用谷歌搜尋“我在流鼻水”
這是CSF4。你的腦脊髓液正在流失!
還有如果你用谷歌搜尋發癢和診斷:
過敏性休克或精神病
 
所以絕不谷歌你的症狀
它很少會帶來任何聰明才智
你想要意外地找到什麼
但是你可能會發現到
你有了多餘的染色體
 
因此這些就是我父親說的話
然後他就閉了眼離開了人世
驗屍報告寫得很清楚
是死於軟骨恐懼症
那是種被量身定做的
當你用谷歌搜尋了
你的症狀
 
絕不谷歌你的症狀
那些熱搜名單從不令人驚喜
你的左臂有些疼痛嗎?
這是心髒病發作的警訊!
你是否感覺有點氣虛嗎?是的
你已經得了ALS!5
如果你有輕度的貧血
你已經得了白血病!
你有點瘋癲嗎?
你已經得了ADHD6
因此絕不,絕不用谷歌搜尋
你的症狀!
 
Submitted by Joyce SuJoyce Su on Wed, 25/09/2019 - 13:53
Added in reply to request by Alexander FreiAlexander Frei
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