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Романс Рощина (Romans Roschina) (English translation)

Романс Рощина

Почему ж ты мне не встретилась,
Юная, нежная,
В те года мои далёкие,
В те года вешние?
Голова стала белою,
Что с ней я поделаю?
Почему же ты мне встретилась
Лишь сейчас?
 
Я забыл в кругу ровесников,
Сколько лет пройдено.
Ты об этом мне напомнила,
Юная, стройная.
Об одном только думаю,-
Мне жаль ту весну мою,
Что прошла, неповторимая, без тебя.
 
Как боится седина моя
Твоего локона,
Ты ещё моложе кажешься,
Если я около.
Видно, нам встреч не праздновать,
У нас судьбы разные.
Ты любовь моя последняя.
Боль моя.
 
Submitted by SaintMarkSaintMark on Sat, 19/11/2016 - 06:36
Submitter's comments:

композитор - Никита Богословский
стихи - Николай Доризо

English translationEnglish
Align paragraphs

Roschin's love song

Versions: #1#2
Young and sweet girl,
why didn't you come my way
in those distant years
of my youthful spring?
My hair has turned grey,
how could I help it?
Why have you come my way
only now?
 
Among my peers I forgot
how many years went away.
Your shapely youthfullness
reminded me of that.
My mind is filled with
regrets of my spring
that is gone and can't play out again with you.
 
My grey hair is in awe
of your locks.
You look even younger
when I'm near.
We shall not enjoy our meetings,
for we walk different paths.
You are my last love
and my anguish.
 
Thanks!
thanked 6 times
Submitted by GuestGuest on Fri, 06/07/2018 - 13:17
Added in reply to request by Green_SattvaGreen_Sattva
5
Your rating: None Average: 5 (1 vote)
Translations of "Романс Рощина ..."
English Guest
5
Comments
IgeethecatIgeethecat    Fri, 06/07/2018 - 13:20

My head has turned grey — maybe hair instead of head?

IgeethecatIgeethecat    Fri, 06/07/2018 - 13:33

Now, “what use is it now?” doesn’t make a sense

Green_SattvaGreen_Sattva    Fri, 06/07/2018 - 13:33

Что с ней я поделаю? ----> maybe something like "What can I do" or "I can't help" ?

Green_SattvaGreen_Sattva    Fri, 06/07/2018 - 14:48

Exactly.
"с ней" - это с головой.

IgeethecatIgeethecat    Fri, 06/07/2018 - 13:45

И украинский Рощин поёт «как я этому помогу» волосам?

Alexander LaskavtsevAlexander Laskavtsev    Fri, 06/07/2018 - 13:48

Ну вообще я играюсь с выражением https://idioms.thefreedictionary.com/can%27t+help+it
И почему Вы цепляетесь к "волосам"? Он задаёт риторический вопрос: что он может поделать с тем, что он постарел, что большая часть его жизни прошла? "Белая голова" - это лишь образ, указывающий на почтенный возраст лирического героя.

IgeethecatIgeethecat    Fri, 06/07/2018 - 13:52

Я то вообще-то к волосам не цеплялась, совсем наоборот

IgeethecatIgeethecat    Fri, 06/07/2018 - 13:59

Мда, есть такая наука - логика

Alexander LaskavtsevAlexander Laskavtsev    Fri, 06/07/2018 - 14:54

Only a native speaker can give you a precise advice. Regular smile

Actualy "что поделать/поделаешь" is a static expression in russian. "По-" is a sign of completeness of an action. Like "what is about to be done" (but any person with a healthy mind would never translate it in english like this Regular smile )

Alexander LaskavtsevAlexander Laskavtsev    Fri, 06/07/2018 - 15:09

look, "говорить" = "to speak/to talk" when "поговорить" = "to MAKE a conversation/speech and to FINISH it with some result"

Alexander LaskavtsevAlexander Laskavtsev    Fri, 06/07/2018 - 15:16

Мы поговорили = we had a little talk
Поговорим? = let's have a little talk?

Alexander LaskavtsevAlexander Laskavtsev    Fri, 06/07/2018 - 15:31

No, that means i wrote it from my phone;)

По- points rather on "to have" than "little"

IgeethecatIgeethecat    Fri, 06/07/2018 - 15:43

Boys, you cannot be left alone,
Ща пистолеты возьмёте Teeth smile

Green_SattvaGreen_Sattva    Fri, 06/07/2018 - 16:11
petit élève wrote:

Serves you right for using one of these evil machines Tongue smile

Почему-то вспомнила: "будь проклят день, когда я сел за баранку этого проклятого пылесоса!"

Green_SattvaGreen_Sattva    Fri, 06/07/2018 - 15:49

Btw, in Russian "Чайник долго закипает" and "Чайник долго не закипает" mean the same!

Green_SattvaGreen_Sattva    Fri, 06/07/2018 - 15:50
petit élève wrote:

Поворим -> wouldn't that be "let's do a little cooking" ? Wink smile

I couldn't resist. *singing*: "ОтвАри потихоньку калитку" Teeth smile Teeth smile Teeth smile

IgeethecatIgeethecat    Fri, 06/07/2018 - 15:57
petit élève wrote:

What about "how could I help it?".
"could" is a bit softer than "can", like the "по" of "поделать" I guess?

Works for me
Soft, but неизбежно Regular smile

Green_SattvaGreen_Sattva    Fri, 06/07/2018 - 13:39
5

Very good translation, in my opinion.

Green_SattvaGreen_Sattva    Fri, 06/07/2018 - 13:43

Ребята, а разве это Бернес поёт??
Голос не его вроде...

Green_SattvaGreen_Sattva    Fri, 06/07/2018 - 13:56

Please, note that the title has been changed.

IgeethecatIgeethecat    Fri, 06/07/2018 - 16:23

Кто поменял нашу beloved «щ» на who knows what???

IgeethecatIgeethecat    Fri, 06/07/2018 - 16:35

My mother’s maiden name starts with «Щ» - so, I can tell you- it’s “shch”

JadisJadis    Fri, 06/07/2018 - 16:32

I guess 'Roshchin' in English... and 'Roschtschin' in German (he heee... 7 letters instead of 1 !)

IgeethecatIgeethecat    Fri, 06/07/2018 - 16:40

Germans are famous for making long words Regular smile

IgeethecatIgeethecat    Fri, 06/07/2018 - 16:50

Ну да, это тоже what ever heck it means, but «щ» остаётся “shch” Regular smile ;D

JadisJadis    Fri, 06/07/2018 - 16:58

In French, it's "chtch". Look for instance at the different transcriptions of  Rodion Chtchedrine  on Wikipedia (French, English, German, Nederlands...)

mk87mk87    Fri, 06/07/2018 - 17:12

Actually, it's not pork. It's beef. There was never a Schweinefleischetikettierungsüberwachungsaufgabenübertragungsgesetz because the word would be too long to handle.

IgeethecatIgeethecat    Fri, 06/07/2018 - 17:38

Oh, beef is much shorter, indeed; :;)

IgeethecatIgeethecat    Fri, 06/07/2018 - 14:11

Pierre, call Gavin, this Russian-Ukrainian-American is a БС
I think you got the meaning, just need a little “Polish “ Regular smile

Green_SattvaGreen_Sattva    Fri, 06/07/2018 - 14:13

[@Gavin], could you, please, help us? Regular smile

GavinGavin    Fri, 06/07/2018 - 18:07

Hello - I've just cut to the chase and read the finished product. I can't really see much to complain about...any lines in particular that worry you? Regular smile

Green_SattvaGreen_Sattva    Fri, 06/07/2018 - 18:16

I just noticed that "неповторимая" is missing in your translation.

Green_SattvaGreen_Sattva    Fri, 06/07/2018 - 18:21

Ah, OK than.
I wonder is there any specific word in English.

BratBrat    Fri, 06/07/2018 - 18:31

Irretrievable Regular smile

GavinGavin    Fri, 06/07/2018 - 18:31

Oh yes, unrepeatable would be right if that the meaning needed. Regular smile

GavinGavin    Fri, 06/07/2018 - 18:30

Forever is good but I think I'd just say gone rather that past (actually that should be passed anyway)...

GavinGavin    Fri, 06/07/2018 - 18:39

Well stick with 'passed' but maybe it augment it a little with 'that passed by' or 'that passed me by' even?

GavinGavin    Fri, 06/07/2018 - 18:50

Yes that comes across I think. Regular smile
(Although "had a pleasant youth" is a very dodgy double entendre in English) Wink smile

During my youth = ma jeunesse
A youth = a young man

GavinGavin    Fri, 06/07/2018 - 18:51

Yes it does rather - seemed apposite but maybe I'm adding too much meaning?

GavinGavin    Mon, 09/07/2018 - 09:32

I like "youthfull spring" - brings to mind Shakespeare's "my salad days, when I was green in judgement". (Antony and Cleopatra)

IgeethecatIgeethecat    Fri, 06/07/2018 - 18:51

Guys, it is much simpler- he just regrets about some spring in his live. He didn’t know her (he is too old), but in case that she was there, who knows what would happened Regular smile Y) peace

GavinGavin    Fri, 06/07/2018 - 18:16

I prefer "could" as it goes nicely with the past tense (my hair has turned grey). Although it could just as well be the conditional... which also works fine anyway Regular smile

IgeethecatIgeethecat    Fri, 06/07/2018 - 18:17

The bla-bla here was more about the meaning. Strange guy approached a girl, she punched him between his eyes, she goes back to her drunk hubby

Green_SattvaGreen_Sattva    Fri, 06/07/2018 - 18:20
Igeethecat wrote:

Strange guy approached a girl, she punched him between his eyes, she goes back to her drunk hubby

That was in another song!

Green_SattvaGreen_Sattva    Fri, 06/07/2018 - 14:16

нежная ---> I would rather say "gentle", "soft" , "tender"...
What do you think?

Alexander LaskavtsevAlexander Laskavtsev    Fri, 06/07/2018 - 14:29

I'm always loving "tender" in such cases (though quite often I was corrected) Wink smile

Green_SattvaGreen_Sattva    Fri, 06/07/2018 - 18:50

By the way, and interesting article about this movie.
https://lera-komor.livejournal.com/265600.html

I especially like this

Quote:

Супруга композитора Рощина, с болью и горечью перепевая только что пропетый мужем для любовницы романс, как будто наводит обратный зум на его души сомнительно прекрасные порывы, четко указывая на то, где Любовь, а где так, маленький свербящий любеночек

IgeethecatIgeethecat    Fri, 06/07/2018 - 19:19

Do you (we) have something similar to “summer of 1967”?

sandringsandring    Mon, 09/07/2018 - 15:53

Pierre, I think you've all overlooked a few important points.

1. cross my path - it's usually about an enemy. Why didn't you come my way, you - so young and sweet-. "Lass" has a Scottish flavour. "Tender" is OK when followed by a noun. A tender kiss etc. Standing alone it's about the quality of meat. "The steak is tender.." Regular smile
2. I forgot how many years had slipped away
3. Your youthfulness reminded me of that (not remembered)
4. regrets about that my spring that passed, the inimitable one, without you
5. My grey hair fears your locks ("afraid" won't do, I'm afraid)
6. Looks like we won't enjoy our dates
7. No fates, pls. The film might be called "The Roads We Take". We are walking different roads/ Our roads fork
8. You're my last love, my pain. (suffering is no good here, I think)

Hope, it helps. Regular smile

sandringsandring    Mon, 09/07/2018 - 16:12

неповторимая - inimitable, unsurpassable, unique Regular smile

BratBrat    Mon, 09/07/2018 - 16:26

And if you are not afraid of sounding archaic and somewhat French, then you may use "irremeable" here.

sandringsandring    Mon, 09/07/2018 - 16:15

Pierre, "fate" is rather something written in the stars. This film is about different people taking different roads in life, making their choice of lifeways according to their outlook, ideas etc. That was my point. Regular smile

BratBrat    Mon, 09/07/2018 - 16:23

I'd say, the movie is about different backgrounds....

sandringsandring    Mon, 09/07/2018 - 16:17

If you don't like "pain" then "anguish" is closest.

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