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Поэза о солнце, в душе восходящем (Poeza o solntse, v dushe voskhodyashchem) (English translation)

Поэза о солнце, в душе восходящем

В моей душе восходит солнце,
Гоня невзгодную зиму.
В экстазе идолопоклонца
Молюсь таланту своему.
 
В его лучах легко и просто
Вступаю в жизнь, как в листный сад.
Я улыбаюсь, как подросток,
Приемлю все, всему я рад.
 
Ах, для меня, для беззаконца,
Один действителен закон –
В моей душе восходит солнце,
И я лучиться обречен!
 
Submitted by Dr_IgorDr_Igor on Thu, 01/04/2021 - 20:53
Submitter's comments:

До недавнего времени ( двух недель нет еще) я стихов практически не читал.
На LT был по песенному делу. Но тут Оденопоклонники совратили. Стал читать
маленько русских поэтов. Поделюсь свежим впечатлением- Игорь Северянин
мне сильно понравился. Ну, во-первых - тёзка, но главное - чувство юмора,
редкое для поэта качество.

English translationEnglish (metered, poetic, rhyming)
Align paragraphs

The poem about the sun rising in the soul

The sun is rising in my soul
It chases winter gloom away.
Ecstatic fan of my great role
To my own talent I would pray
 
And in its rays it is so easy
To enter life like paradise.
Like a teenager I am busy
Enjoying everything. It’s nice!
 
To nothing really I’m beholden,
There is one law that rules my fate -
The sun is me and I am golden,
I’m destined then to radiate!
 
Thanks!
thanked 3 times
This is a poetic translation - deviations from the meaning of the original are present (extra words, extra or omitted information, substituted concepts).
Submitted by Dr_IgorDr_Igor on Thu, 01/04/2021 - 20:56
Last edited by Dr_IgorDr_Igor on Mon, 17/05/2021 - 19:19
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Comments
Bertram KottmannBertram Kottmann    Mon, 17/05/2021 - 19:05
5

Metro could be improved:
"And in its rays it is so easy"

Dr_IgorDr_Igor    Mon, 17/05/2021 - 19:24

Hi Bertram,
for the stars and the correction - thanks. It is indeed five syllables, not four. Mathematicians a notoriously bad at numbers. Fixed it

Bertram KottmannBertram Kottmann    Mon, 17/05/2021 - 20:01

"I am only interested in producing translations that can be sung to the original melody or to the original melody with acceptable variations, which I am planning to outline at some point soon.. If the original has rhyming, then I am making an effort to have the same rhyming structure in the translation. Under these conditions, it is almost never possible to have a literal translation, but I am always trying to stay as close to the original as possible."

A philosophy that should have as many followers as possible.

Dr_IgorDr_Igor    Mon, 17/05/2021 - 20:24

Hard to disagree with what I myself have said. But I have to. Kidding. The "mission statement" about only being interested in songs has become
obsolete. And our dear Vera was the main inspiration for my branching out into general poetry translations. She still is my main inspiration...

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