I have traveled to different countries
I met many beautiful women
I tried delicious food
I danced to many different rhythms.
From Mexico I went to Patagonia,
And I lived some years in Spain
I tried hard to speak the language,
but I never could
How difficult it is to speak Spanish,
because everything you say has another definition.
How difficult it is to understand Spanish,
if you learn it, don't move to another region!
How difficult it is to speak Spanish,
because everything you say has another definition.
How difficult it is to understand Spanish,
I give up, "I'm going back to my country"
I studied Castilian Spanish when I was in high school
For our graduation trip we went to the Canary Islands.
On that trip I realized I didn't know anything about Spanish,
and I decided to degree in Spanish in Salamanca.
With my degree done I traveled to Mexico City
I felt that I needed to enrich my vocabulary.
I soon saw that I had my work cut out for me with Spanish
and I decided to study another three years in Guadalajara.
Four months in Bolivia,
Post-grad in Costa Rica,
and some lectures with a professor from Cuba.
So much study, with so much effort, and in the end you see that:
This language can't be understood
forwards or backwards!
How difficult it is to speak Spanish,
because everything that you say has another meaning.
How difficult it is to understand Spanish
I give up! "I'm leaving to my country"
In Venezuela I bought with my money a shirt made of "pana" (corduroy),
and my friends would say "That's my pana, that's my pana" (buddy)
And in Colombia the "porro" (joint) is a very cheerful rhythm that is sung,
but they all look at me strangely when I say I love it.
Chileans say when something is far away it's "a la chucha"
and in Colombia the bad smell from your armpit is "la chucha"
Meanwhile in Uruguay they call that smell "chivo"
and the dictionary defines 'chivo' as a goat with a long beard
And changing a vowel the word becomes "chucho"
and "chucho" is a little dog in El Salvador and Guatemala.
In Honduras it means stingy, and they call Jesus "Chucho"
with so many definitions, how can you use this fucking word?
"Chucho" means cold in Argentina,
"Chucho" in Chile is a jail,
"Chucho" in Mexico is if there's someone
with a gift for being skillful
Jesus' "chucho" (dog) is a barking "chucho" (dog),
and for being "chucho" (stingy) Jesus was thrown in the "chucho" (jail),
the "chucho" (jail) was "chucho" (cold) and he caught a "chucho" (cold)
"What a 'chucho' (cold)," he said, "I miss my 'chucho' (dog)"
How difficult it is to speak Spanish,
because everything you say has another meaning.
How difficult it is to understand Spanish,
I give up "I'm going back to my country"
I began to learn the names of foods,
but beans are "poroto" and "habichuela" at the same time.
Even though I was confused by what I was eating at the table,
I was sure about one thing, a strawberry is a "fresa"
What a shock, then, when in Mexico they called ME a "fresa"
for wearing Armani clothes and asking for good wine at the table.
With the same clothes they called me "cheto" in Argentina.
"Cheto" is a 'fresa'," I thought, and I asked at the market on the corner:
"Are the 'chetas' good here?" and the cashier got mad
"Go back to the bloody whore that gave birth to you!"
and, "Fresas, parce (dude)," a Colombian told me
while he saw that I, confused, sat in a chair.
"Brother, don't be dumb, and write it down on your hand:
In Buenos Aires they call strawberries "frutillas".
I was tired of seeming like an idiot
I use what they teach me and nobody understands 'ni jota' [nobody understands a thing]
and if "ni jota" (not a word) is not understood, then ask in Bogotá.
I give up, I give in, I'm headed to Canada
A 'pastel' is a 'ponqué', and a 'ponqué' is a 'torta' (all words for cake)
And a 'torta' is the punch in the mouth that a Spanish lady gave me
She looked really pretty walking by the beach
I wanted to throw her a pickup line to win her over
I walked up and I told her the first thing that came to mind,
She turned around, she yelled at me, she spat on me, and she slapped me!
'Capullo' (flower bud)—is what I called her, because she looked really pretty.
and if "capullo" (flower bud) is an insult, who can explain this damn little song to me?
"Pretty 'capullo' (bud) of a wallflower, if only you knew of my pain
Returned my love, and calmed my suffer-fer-fer-..."
Suffering is what I have,
And for all that I try so hard I never understand you
I don't know what to do anymore to be understood
And they didn't want to give me a refund on my classes
How difficult it is to speak Spanish
because everything said has another definition.
How difficult it is to understand Spanish
I give up already, I'm going back to my planet
In Spain people call the juice that comes out of meat 'jugo'
On the other hand, in Spain they call fruit juice 'zumo'
They also told me that the 'sumo pontífice' (the pope) makes the rules in religion
And I always thought that a 'sumo' was a fat guy in a thong fighting in Japan
I met a woman from Andalucia, her name was Concepción
Her husband called her "Concha (nickname for 'Concepción) of my heart"
"Let's go to Argentina," I said to her one time
"I'm sorry, but if you call me 'Concha' (lady part) I think it's better I don't go there”
"But Concha (nickname), what's wrong? It's a really pretty country
There are even people who compare Buenos Aires to Paris"
"Over there they make fun of my nickname in the dirtiest way
and there will always be a pervert that passes and gets excited"
And with so many Anglicisms everything is more complicated
If you translate literally they don't make sense
"I will call you back," any gringo will tell you
"yo te llamo pa’trás," they'll say in Puerto Rico
And 'ojos’ is 'eyes' and 'ice' is 'hielo', 'yellow' the color of egg yolks
"Oso" is "bear", "ver" is "see", "si" is a note that is 'B' in English
And 'B' is also 'abeja'[bumble bee] and is also 'ser' (to be)
and "Sir" Michael is what I called my English teacher.
And the guy who watches over your building is a "guachiman" (watchman)
And you go out to 'hanguear' (hang out) with the boys from the neighborhood
And the rotory/roundabout is a 'romboy'
And you put on an 'overol' (overalls)
Why does it have to be so difficult
to know how to frikkin' speak in Spanish?
It's not that I don't want to, I just lost my patience
The science of this language doesn't enter in my consciousness
I thought that by carrying a dictionary in my backpack
And by writing in a diary all the words that I learned during the day
And reading, travelling, chatting, studying
and making friends on every street corner
And trying all kinds of food and
buying encyclopedias and anthologies
I THOUGHT THAT I WOULD LEARN
AND THAT WITH A LITTLE FAITH I WOULD MAKE IT
MY EFFORT WAS IN VAIN!!!
I thought that I would speak Spanish but not anymore (no no no no)
How difficult it is to speak Spanish
because everything said has another definition
In Chile "polla" is a collective wagger,
but in Spain it's a penis
Some people in Mexico call the penis a "pitillo", and "pitillo" in Spain is a cigarette
and in Venezuela it's a plastic straw used to drink with.
The same straw in Bolivia is known as "pajita",
but "pajita" in some countries means little masturbation,
and masturbation in Mexico can be called "chaqueta",
which at the same time is a type of coat in Colombia,
a country in which by the way, a cap with a visor is a "cachucha",
and "cachucha" in Argentina is a vagina,
but there they also call the vagina "concha",
and "conchudo" in Colombia is someone shameless or someone 'fresco' (with a lot of nerve)
and "fresco" in Cuba is someone who is disrespectful
I'M MAMADO ALREADY (fed up)
But what kind of 'mamado'?
'Mamado' like drunk?
'Mamado' like 'sucked off'?
'Mamado' like 'fed up'?
I give up already, I'm going back to my country!