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schlittschuh (English translation)

German
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schlittschuh

ein leben lang laufe ich schlittschuh
auf einer endlosen fläche
aus kaltem, hartem eis
 
das eis wird dünner
ich laufe schneller
 
ich bin müde
 
was also
soll ich
tun
?
 
Submitted by Vera JahnkeVera Jahnke on Wed, 20/05/2020 - 09:58
Submitter's comments:

© Vera Jahnke
älteres Gedicht

English translationEnglish (equirhythmic, metered, poetic)
Align paragraphs

Ice-Skating

Versions: #1#2
All of my life I have gone skating
on a plain infinite surface
of snow-cold, rough, hard ice.
 
The ice gets thinner.
I’m skating faster.
 
I am tired,
 
so what then
should I
do
?
 
Thanks!
thanked 8 times
This is a poetic translation - deviations from the meaning of the original are present (extra words, extra or omitted information, substituted concepts).

Please do not use this translation for any public purpose without permission.

Por favor no utilice esta traducción para fines públicos sin mi permiso.

Var snäll och använd ej denna översättning utan tillstånd.

Bitte benutzen Sie diese Übersetzung nicht ohne meine Zustimmung für öffentliche oder gewerbliche Zwecke.

Submitted by GeborgenheitGeborgenheit on Fri, 05/03/2021 - 07:30
Author's comments:

I used the other English translation to rework it into an equirhythmic translation. The other translation however is brilliant as well.

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Comments
BlackSea4everBlackSea4ever    Fri, 05/03/2021 - 13:50

So, Vera what is closer to the intent:
All my life i've been skating -or- All of my life I have gone skating
Myself, I have been skating on the thin ice lately.

Vera JahnkeVera Jahnke    Fri, 05/03/2021 - 14:07

Hm, what I meant, was: I've been skating all my life without any rest.
So, did you enjoy skating? 😀
The last time I did it was in my childhood...

GeborgenheitGeborgenheit    Fri, 05/03/2021 - 15:15

Hi, “all of my life” and “all my life” mean the same thing and are interchangeable. They both are just as correct in English. Plus I added “of” because I wanted my translation to be equirhythmic. Same thing with "I've been skating" and "I have gone skating", here they mean the same thing.

GeborgenheitGeborgenheit    Fri, 05/03/2021 - 15:14

Yes I know, however I never got that impression here.

BlackSea4everBlackSea4ever    Fri, 05/03/2021 - 15:00

Hmm... you must be younger and less tired. 😉
Plus my German is minimal.
And the poem, with its question at the end, invoked my affinity to Jacob’s variation especially as I’m lacking e/m understanding. Lol.

GeborgenheitGeborgenheit    Fri, 05/03/2021 - 15:17

Well I'm 28 so maybe haha.

Anyways Vera just simply meant that she went skating and got tired. I still appreciate your comments though and hope that I clarified everything.

BlackSea4everBlackSea4ever    Fri, 05/03/2021 - 15:05

Oh, what I’d give to be 28. I like your translations, and this one too. It was more a question if Vera meant anything behind these words. We are good!

Vera JahnkeVera Jahnke    Fri, 05/03/2021 - 16:29

Not simply, ha-ha! Ice is frozen water, a frozen feeling. First it was fun to do skating. It is easier than to swim and quicker and you have no direct contact. But if you do it a long, long time, you will become tired, and then - moreover - spring is coming with sun and color, the ice is getting thinner, so you must run faster, although you are totally exhausted. And there is no land at all, only ice, thin ice... So you have to learn to swim in the end.

BlackSea4everBlackSea4ever    Fri, 05/03/2021 - 16:36

That makes my understanding = cow’s on ice 🤷‍♀️

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