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Серебро господа моего (Serebro gospoda moego) (English translation)

English translationEnglish (singable)
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Silver My Lord Giveth Me

Versions: #1#2#3#4
A ray of light hath struck me,
I shan't be treated.
My heart is wounded,
What more could I ask for from thee?
As if were not tender the night,
As if there still be a path,
The old direct path of our love.
 
Yet we keep our peace,
Yet we consider and wait,
Yet we but sing of ourselves,
What other song could there be?
But something is surely amiss,
It seems that the colors have waned,
Surely again we are lost without thee.
 
Silver my Lord giveth me,
Silver Thou giveth me.
Dar'st I but say with mere words
Anything true about thee?
Silver my Lord giveth me,
Silver Thou giveth me.
More than stars, more than words,
Side by side with my grief.
 
And like a village smith,
I'll part before the night falls.
Where I am bound
No one shall come after me.
Perhaps I have always been blind,
Perhaps there is something amiss,
Yet I feel at the end of the path what I'll see,
 
Silver my Lord giveth me,
Silver Thou giveth me.
Dar'st I but say with mere words
Anything true about thee?
Silver my Lord giveth me,
Silver Thou giveth me.
More than stars, more than words,
Side by side with my grief.
 
Thanks!
thanked 3 times

© St.Sol @ LT: all rights reserved.

Submitted by St. SolSt. Sol on Tue, 22/11/2016 - 01:56
Last edited by St. SolSt. Sol on Sat, 13/02/2021 - 01:31
Author's comments:

Translation by J Fred. Bailyn (edited).

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Серебро господа моего (Serebro gospoda moego)

Comments
Alexander SokoloffAlexander Sokoloff    Tue, 26/01/2021 - 06:21
4

An interesting poetic translation by a native English speaker. It sounds strange to me though as if I were reading a 16-th century Christian poem. The thanslater has decided to use Old English while not a single old-fashioned word is used in the original.

And are you sure about the expression "sith mere words"? "Sith" is an obsolete form of "since" in the meaning "because": https://www.dictionary.com/browse/sith
Perhaps, what was meant is "with"?
"Dar'st I but say with mere words
Anything true about thee?"

And also since the hero addresses God, "Thee" and "Thou" should be capitalized in my opinion.

The phrase "И словно бы блёклы цвета" has been misunderstood and mistranslated. "Цвета" means colours, not flowers. "Flowers" are "цветы".

And there are a few other places that are not quite in line with the original. If a person is not bilingual, it takes two people to make a perfect translation, a native Russian speaker who understands the meanings of all words and phrases and a native English speaker who can help find the best equivalents. So I don't know why you have indicated that it's a "professional translation".

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