1st verse:grey - I would say 'greyness', to me it is more like a feeling. (Grayness = US)
2nd verse 'okay' seems a little familiar. Perhaps 'all right' would be better here, or 'tell me all is well...' to suit the poetic style.
Also a small question of 'the anxiety rises' , we tend to say 'anxiety' in a general way (no article) or use a possessive to define eg. my/our anxiety rises. I know the Icelandic ' kvíðinn' is literally 'the anxiety', it's difficult to know where to draw the line between a literal translation and what would be more correct in the language used to translate. In poetic style it's hard to find the exact meaning too.
"er niður kem ég lítill ég er": I agree this is a strange word order but I have seen it before in lyrics. I don't think I can find a better way to translate it myself here. Alternatives may be 'once I am down' or 'once I fall', or 'once I have fallen'...
I'm a native speaker of English studying Icelandic and I may be splitting hairs but I think you did really well otherwise.
Native Icelandic speakers may also want to add comments.
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Proofreading requested
Original lyrics
Þar sem enginn fer
Þeytist dagurinn hjá
Hratt ég fer
Unaðsstundir ég á
Fara framhjá mér
Fagurt hafið og firðir
Fjöll vötn og ár
En býr, í mér nú
Lítið grátt, sem læðist hjá
Hvert er heitið segið mér
Ótt og títt spyr ég
Stoðin hnígur, kvíðinn rís
Brún ég bráðlega sé
Er niður kem ég lítill ég er
Segið mér að þetta sé
Allt í lagi
Finn ég loks mína ró
Úti bjart
Dimman fer þó skammt
Vel hún þekkir mig
Rónni fljótlega rekur
Ört andinn rís
En hvert, fer ég nú
Er myrkrið svart
Leitar fram, Mér laðast að
Hvert er heitið segið mér
Ótt og títt spyr ég
Stoðin hnígur, kvíðinn rís
Brún ég bráðlega sé
Er niður kem ég lítill ég er
Segið mér að þetta sé
Allt í lagi
Fögur sjón í hverjum tálma
Alveg sama hver stundin er
Áfram förum hvert við stefnum
Alltaf þar sem enginn fer
(Af frjálsum vilja enginn fer)
Submitted by silfur on 2021-01-30
Translation
Where No One Goes
The day passes quickly
I'm going fast
I have happy moments
Pass me by
The beautiful sea and fjords
Mountains, lakes, and rivers
But in me now dwells
A little grey creeping by
Tell me what it is called
I ask again and again
The pillar collapses, the anxiety rises
Soon I'll see an edge
When I come down I see how small I am
Tell me that this is
Okay
I finally find my peace
In the bright outdoors
Though the darkness stays close
It knows me well
The calm is swiftly banished
The spirit rises rapidly
But where I go now
The darkness is black
I seek it out, it draws me in
Tell me what it is called
I ask again and again
The pillar collapses, the anxiety rises
Soon I'll see an edge
When I come down I see how small I am
Tell me that this is
Okay
A beautiful sight in every obstacle
No matter what the time is
We go forward to where we're heading
Always where no one goes
(Where no one voluntarily wants to go)
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Árstíðir: Top 3
1. | Heyr himna smiður |
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Comments
This is my first translation on this site and the first time I'm "officially" translating from Icelandic. Árstíðir also uses very poetic (read: unorthodox) word order so there were some lines like "er niður kem ég lítill ég er" that really messed with me. Feedback would be much appreciated!