Variation on an Akhmatova Poem (Hebrew translation)

Proofreading requested

Variation on an Akhmatova Poem

She drinks to her ruined home.
My own is not destroyed.
Still, the loneliness in marriage
is something I can toast.
I drink to your hostile stare,
our quarrels, your infidelity,
and what you resented most:
that God did not choose to save you,
and took some pity on me.
Submitted by SpeLiAmSpeLiAm on Fri, 17/09/2021 - 08:48
Hebrew translationHebrew (poetic)
Align paragraphs

וריאציה על השיר של אכמטובה

היא שותה לביתה החרב.
ביתי אינו הרוס.
אך בדידות בנישואין
היא משהו, שאני יכולה להרים כוס לכבודו.
אני שותה לחיי מבטך העוין,
הריבים שלנו, אי נאמנותך,
ומה שהתרעמת עליו ביותר:
שהאל לא בחר להצילך,
ועלי במידת מה הוא ריחם.
This is a poetic translation - deviations from the meaning of the original are present (extra words, extra or omitted information, substituted concepts).
Submitted by IsraelWuIsraelWu on Fri, 17/09/2021 - 10:44
The author of translation requested proofreading.
It means that he/she will be happy to receive corrections, suggestions etc about the translation.
If you are proficient in both languages of the language pair, you are welcome to leave your comments.
Translations of "Variation on an ..."
Hebrew PIsraelWu
Read about music throughout history