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Vy, idushchiye mimo menya (Вы, идущие мимо меня) (English translation)

  • Artist: Marina Tsvetayeva (Марина Цветаева)
  • Song: Vy, idushchiye mimo menya (Вы, идущие мимо меня)
  • Translations: English

Vy, idushchiye mimo menya (Вы, идущие мимо меня)

Вы, идущие мимо меня
К не моим и сомнительным чарам, —
Если б знали вы, сколько огня,
Сколько жизни, растраченной даром,
 
И какой героический пыл
На случайную тень и на шорох...
И как сердце мне испепелил
Этот даром истраченный порох.
 
О, летящие в ночь поезда,
Уносящие сон на вокзале...
Впрочем, знаю я, что и тогда
Не узнали бы вы — если б знали —
 
Почему мои речи резки
В вечном дыме моей папиросы,—
Сколько темной и грозной тоски
В голове моей светловолосой.
 
Last edited by SaintMarkSaintMark on Sat, 06/05/2017 - 18:40
Submitter's comments:

17 мая 1913
Марина Цветаева. Собрание сочинений в 7 т.
Москва: Эллис Лак, 1994.

English translationEnglish
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You, the ones passing by

You, the ones passing by
not my 1 dubious charms to admire, -
If only you knew just how much was lost
Of the life and the internal fire.
 
The occasional shadow and rustle
Eliciting from me heroic fervor...
And how my heart was turned into ashes
By this uselessly spent gunpowder.
 
Oh, the trains flying into the night,
Taking away sleep at the railway station...
However, I know that even then,
You still would not have realized — even if you knew
 
why my words are so sharp, shrouded
forever in the smoke of my cigarette, —
How much of the dark grief anguished
Inside of my fair-haired head.
 
  • 1. implies another one's charms to admire
Feedback is appreciated. If you like or dislike something, leave a note...
The objective is to further human understanding so my feeble attempts are not copyrighted.
Submitted by BlackSea4everBlackSea4ever on Tue, 17/09/2019 - 01:17
Author's comments:

Thanks for the invaluable help from Brat and Jadis

Comments
JadisJadis    Tue, 17/09/2019 - 15:35

Nice try! There seems to be less personal developements than usually... Wink smile
 
Yet I think you still could stick closer to the text (since you don't care for rhythm nor rhymes), for example :
 
If you only knew, how much fire,
How much life was wasted in vain,
 
And how much heroic fervor
For an uncertain shade, for a whisper (rustle)...
And how it turned my heart to ashes,
This gunpowder useless consumed
 
Сколько темной и грозной тоски > How much dark and bitter grief ?
 
(And where is the vokzal?)
 

BlackSea4everBlackSea4ever    Tue, 17/09/2019 - 15:47

Вокзал is a place. Lol
Grief - yes
I care for rhythm and rhymes - that's why I like yours, PZ, Zhenya, Lena's work....
If I take your suggestions, it would be your translation - changes are too invasive. I'll ponder on it.

Now, I'm sorry I deleted my comment ref your missing avatar...

JadisJadis    Tue, 17/09/2019 - 16:04

Это – вокзал (I think).

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