Marica Nicolska - Животные инстинкты (traducción al Inglés)

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Животные инстинкты

Я - не ханжа. Я - за животные инстинкты!
Любовь - как у волков: чтоб раз - и на всю жизнь!
Дворняг не уподоблюсь стае дикой:
У них свободы - кучи! Только нет семьи!
 
Publicado por Marica Nicolska el Mar, 10/04/2018 - 17:49
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traducción al Inglés

Animal Instincts

I'm not a prude. I always vote for instincts!
To love like wolves do: once and for all!
I'll never become like the flocks of mongrels:
They have got heaps of freedom but no household!
 
Please don't hesitate to correct me, especially if the translation language is your native language.
With Best Regards,
© Alexander Laskavtsev
Publicado por Alexander Laskavtsev el Mié, 11/04/2018 - 11:39
Added in reply to request by Marica Nicolska
Editado por última vez por Alexander Laskavtsev el Vie, 20/04/2018 - 13:22
El autor de esta traducción ha solicitado una revisión.
Esto significa que le alegrará recibir correcciones, sugerencias, etc. sobre la traducción.
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Comentarios
Marica Nicolska    Jue, 12/04/2018 - 13:57

I like your translating very much! But... maybe not "a heap of freedom" but "heaps of freedom"? Sorry, I am not sure too

Alexander Laskavtsev    Jue, 12/04/2018 - 14:05

"a heap" звучит плавнее - добавляется одна гласная, и фраза звучит на одном дыхании, особо не меняя смысла. Regular smile
сначала хотел "a lot" написать, потом вспомнил, что знаю слово "куча" Wink smile

Marica Nicolska    Jue, 12/04/2018 - 14:43

Я эту фразочку со словаря списала. Обычно сама путаюсь в подобных изречениях. У Вас великолепный перевод, спасибо!

petit élève    Vie, 20/04/2018 - 12:55

ханжа -> I don't know that word, but looking at wikislovar it seems to me "hypocrite" would better fit the context (though "prude" would be ok in some other cases).

To love like wolves do -> "I love..." sounds more natural to me. "to love" sounds like an infinitive.

heaps of freedom -> I agree, the plural sounds much better. Similar to "lots of freedom" or "freedom aplenty/galore".

household -> not quite sure that works here. Why not simply "no family" ?

Alexander Laskavtsev    Vie, 20/04/2018 - 13:03
petit élève wrote:

ханжа -> I don't know that word, but looking at wikislovar it seems to me "hypocrite" would better fit the context (though "prude" would be ok in some other cases).

Why not? Regular smile These are synonyms

petit élève wrote:

To love like wolves do -> "I love..." sounds more natural to me. "to love" sounds like an infinitive.

I wanted to put an infinitive there. My idea actually was: {I prefer} to love...

petit élève wrote:

heaps of freedom -> I agree, the plural sounds much better. Similar to "lots of freedom" or "freedom aplenty/galore".

Corrected.

petit élève wrote:

household -> not quite sure that works here. Why not simply "no family" ?

Rhymes Wink smile

St. Sol    Vie, 20/04/2018 - 13:14

While I admire rhymed poetic translations, the rhymes are not enough: the meter needs to be made consistent throughout (even though the original is not perfectly metered).
L2 is missing a beat (around "once")
L3: stressing "a" is undesirable in poetry, probably needs to be rearranged.
L4: "a heaps" needs correcting.
Regards, St.