Впопыхах опять смывался (traducción al Inglés)

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Впопыхах опять смывался

Впопыхах опять смывался,
Мой милёночек Илья.
Муж в накладке не остался:
Вновь прибавилось белья!
 
Publicado por St. SolSt. Sol el Mié, 20/03/2019 - 15:49
traducción al Inglés (equirhythmic, rhyming)
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Yet Again My Darling Denny

Yet again my darling Denny
Had to run away undressed.
Hubby didn't lose a penny:
Once more with new briefs he's blessed!
 
© St.Sol @ LT: all rights reserved.
Publicado por St. SolSt. Sol el Vie, 22/03/2019 - 19:35
Editado por última vez por St. SolSt. Sol el Dom, 24/03/2019 - 11:54
5
Tu puntaje: None Promedio: 5 (1 vote)
Comentarios
UncommonUncommon    Vie, 22/03/2019 - 19:44

Pretty good, but indication that it's not the first such occasion is missed though. I think that is the "salt" of this limerick.

UncommonUncommon    Vie, 22/03/2019 - 19:47

I meant the last line - its the funniest one.

St. SolSt. Sol    Vie, 22/03/2019 - 19:56

2 syllables will have to be added to L4 to accomplish that, but then the reference to Denny will have to be removed to keep the syllable count the same. The result will be a confusion about whose briefs were misplaced.

BratBrat    Sáb, 23/03/2019 - 01:46

Denny could be shortened to Den that spares one syllable...

BratBrat    Sáb, 23/03/2019 - 02:36

I thought it would be smth. like "Found again Den's briefs misplaced"... Teeth smile

UncommonUncommon    Dom, 24/03/2019 - 01:55

I guess everyone likes something specific in those 4 lines; but for me previous variant was stronger and carried the original joke well.

BratBrat    Vie, 22/03/2019 - 19:48

В накладке-> внакладе

St. SolSt. Sol    Vie, 22/03/2019 - 19:51

Что купил, то и продаю: претензий на авторство оригинала не предъявляю. Язык народный. Regular smile