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Последний Трамвай

Последний трамвай,
Поверенный в делах разлуки,
В полночной вьюге
Растает пускай.
Прости и прощай!
Пускай по мостовой стрелою
Умчит с тобою
Последний трамвай (трамвай) (x3)
 
Последний трамвай,
Последнее явленье в драме,
Мелькнув огнями,
Растает пускай.
Прости и прощай!
Пускай умчит тебя бессонный
Одновагонный
Последний трамвай (трамвай) (x3)
 
В неведомый край,
В бессонные ночные рейсы
Спешит по рельсам
Последний трамвай.
Прости и прощай!
Холодное прикосновенье
Полночной тенью
Растает пускай.
Последний трамвай (трамвай). (xforever)
 
Traducción

The Final Tram

The final tram,
Trusted with fairwells,
Through a midnight blizzard
Letting it melt away.
To forgive and to say goodbye!
Racing over the narrow bridge
Racing away with you
The final tram (tram) (x3)
 
The final tram,
The final act in the play,
Lights flashing,
Letting it melt away.
To forgive and to say goodbye!
As you sleeplessly fade away
In a single car
The final tram (tram) (x3)
 
To a mysterious land,
Sleepless night journeys,
Racing down the rails
The final tram.
To forgive and to say goodbye!
A cold feeling
A Midnight shadow
Letting it melt away.
The final tram (tram) (xforever)
 
Comentarios
IgeethecatIgeethecat    Jue, 10/10/2019 - 06:42

Рейс — not necessary a flight, here - rather voyage, journey, trip

silencedsilenced    Sáb, 12/10/2019 - 17:21

в делах разлуки -> The French is funny, but the business of the chargé d'affaires seems to be missing ;)

Умчит с тобою -> I'd rather say "racing away". Where does this "lull" come from?

Холодное прикосновенье
Полночной тенью
Растает пускай. -> "allow this cold feeling to melt like a midnight shadow" or something? I'm not quite sure I got it right either.
What do our Russian friends think?

Vladimir4757Vladimir4757
   Sáb, 12/10/2019 - 17:18

Not to sure where "lull" came from. In my Google Docs document with the translation, it was "racing" not "lull" so I have no friggin idea where that came from :p

I'll ask Igee and BlackSea about it though.

IgeethecatIgeethecat    Sáb, 12/10/2019 - 17:35

I think yours is just fine :)
“прикосновение растает тенью” - metaphorically “your touches will disappear “ or something like this

BlackSea4everBlackSea4ever    Sáb, 12/10/2019 - 17:41

BlackSea4ever reporting for duty!
You did pretty well. I'd love to nitpick today so please forgive me upfront... As usually, these are just suggestions to take them or leave them...
Verse 1
The final tram -- the last tram today
The Chargé d'Affaires, -- trusted with farewells
Through the midnight blizzard
Letting it melt away. -- Let it melt away.
So sorry and goodbye! -- forgive and goodbye!
Passing over the narrow bridge / Running away with you -- nah.
Need to imagine tram speeding away on the rails like an arrow. maybe: like an arrow over the pavement, it speeds taking you away

Vladimir4757Vladimir4757
   Dom, 13/10/2019 - 17:16

Forgive and goodbye just doesn't sound right in English...what are you forgiving and saying goodbye to? Just "Forgive and goodbye!" sounds off. I think "So sorry and goodbye!" is a bit better. Besides that, good suggestions.

BlackSea4everBlackSea4ever    Dom, 13/10/2019 - 17:18

Too young. When parting, one can say forgive. Still leaving - hence, goodbye.

Vladimir4757Vladimir4757
   Dom, 13/10/2019 - 17:21

I see. I see.

What about "To forgive and to say goodbye"? What about that?

IgeethecatIgeethecat    Dom, 13/10/2019 - 17:29

It’s not infinitive, imho
The author’s saying “Forgive me! And goodbye!” and cries after all

silencedsilenced    Dom, 13/10/2019 - 17:24

"forgive me" seems more likely than just "forgive".
"Forgive me. Goodbye". Wouldn't that do the trick?

BlackSea4everBlackSea4ever    Dom, 13/10/2019 - 17:28

Sure. But, I think me isn't needed - both sides need to forgive...and fit into 5 syllables. :)

silencedsilenced    Dom, 13/10/2019 - 17:35

That's so Russian :)
English or French don't handle so well the scarcity of determinants.

IgeethecatIgeethecat    Dom, 13/10/2019 - 18:04

Play of words in Russian, yes, but you can still understand and translate it, can’t you?

silencedsilenced    Dom, 13/10/2019 - 18:11

You would need a rephrasing to get this idea that both should forgive. "No hard feelings" or something?

silencedsilenced    Dom, 13/10/2019 - 18:29

Of course they are. It's just like when you say "It doesn't matter" :)

BratBrat    Dom, 13/10/2019 - 18:11

Volodya, you final tram is awesome. :D In Russian it's завершающий трамвай.
Waiting for the primary train....

IgeethecatIgeethecat    Dom, 13/10/2019 - 18:18

Bro is being sarcastic instead of using big words

IgeethecatIgeethecat    Dom, 13/10/2019 - 18:34

I am surprised that Pierre didn’t recognize and make some analogies with Последний троллейбус

silencedsilenced    Dom, 13/10/2019 - 18:49

It's not the same story. The last trolleybus is for castaways of life, not mere heart broken lovers.

silencedsilenced    Dom, 13/10/2019 - 19:21

I've been skinned enough for a lifetime. I'd rather keep my fur on my back, if that's alright with you.

IgeethecatIgeethecat    Dom, 13/10/2019 - 19:29

No, you should go under the couch
And don’t say a little “мяу” from there