I sit down after a meal and read between the quotes
Among rows of gossip magazines
Where vocalists, actors; artists teem
Who love showing their ugly grins
They're all the same, those who mooch off of each premier
Because, if it's free, you can bet your ass that they'll be there
Still, they complain about the food: "How little there is on the plates!"
"How the hell can you serve algae?"
If the show is really bad, "Too flashy and too gaudy!",
They'll just cheer the day that it's cancelled
They constantly talk about who's cheating, who's gay and who's divorced
Say "Cheese!" and they'll do anything get on camera
Sick, I feel sick
When Miss Christer trips and accidentally spills
So that Mrs. Bindefeldt get sauce on his collar, on his stomach
Ooh! How sick I feel, I feel sick
From seeing Alice cook steak tartar with Camilla
And if I see Bruno, Malou and Casimir
There's my limit for what I can handle, then I throw out my Swedish Ladies' Magazine and puke
The best examples are when the loving couples
Show their expensive villas with its rooms
Yes, the entire public should share the splendour
When the couple cooks food and takes bubble baths
After a while, the familial bliss has suddenly been ebbed away
She gets pregnant and, through the media, begs for money and breaks up
Sick, I feel sick
When Emilio stands and kisses his Pernilla
And I see a stingy Ann Uvhagen, my stomach screams
Ooh! How sick I feel, I feel sick
When Björn and Jannike start fighting about the little one
And I see Seilitz with a rack of lamb, stumbling in at a party
There's my limit for what I can handle, then my stomach turns inside out
The worst scandal is the Schlager Final
Where feebleminded wimps are exhibited each year
With their newly found flames, their attention-whoring mothers
Who stand in front of photographers and give out autographs
Sick, sick, I feel sick
When two Finnish sisters can't stand still
When I see Orup up in Mercan proposing to Sofia
I feel really sick, I feel sick
When Lotta Engberg is caught in lingerie next to her villa
And to see Körberg conceitedly fermenting with a powdered nose
Makes me feel sick, I feel sick
When Arja-Sarja shows off her French hairdo
And when, later on, Henning Penning makes a Schlager Debut
There's my limit for what I can handle, then I throw up a pizza and walk out
Please, write to me if you have any suggestions on how this translation might be improved.