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  • Luigi Pirandello

    E l'amore → traducción al Inglés

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E l'amore

E l'amore guardò il tempo e rise,
perché sapeva di non averne bisogno.
Finse di morire per un giorno,
e di rifiorire alla sera,
senza leggi da rispettare.
 
Si addormentò in un angolo di cuore
per un tempo che non esisteva.
Fuggì senza allontanarsi,
ritornò senza essere partito,
il tempo moriva e lui restava.
 
Traducción

It’s love

Love watched Time and laughed
Because she knew - in him she had no need.
Just to re-bloom in the eve, rules paying no heed,
For a day, she had pretended to have died.
 
She fell asleep in the corner of his heart
For a time that did not exist,
He went away without leaving,
And he has returned without having left,
Time has faded, but she remained.
 
Luigi Pirandello: 3 más populares
Comentarios
AnerneqAnerneq
   Sáb, 27/03/2021 - 00:50

You chose to translate quite a difficult text and you nailed it! There are just a couple of things I'd suggest you change:

● "It's love"-> "(And) Love". Remember: è= (it) is; e= and. I think you mixed them up. You can either leave the title as "Love" (here "e" doesn't really have much of a meaning, it's there just to give a more poetic atmosphere) or translate it literally as "And Love";

● "in him she had no need". So you're personifying Time as a man, but here I think the meaning is much more literal. She (i.e. Love) didn't need any more time;

● "in the corner of his heart"-> "in the corner of her heart". If it's not specified whose heart it is, then it's definitely Love's;

● "He went away"-> "She went away". I think you misunderstood the text to be about Love and Time, so you've described them as some kind of lovers. As I said, "time" in the first verse had a very literal meaning, so here it's still talking about Love;

● "And he has returned without having left"-> "And she returned without having left". Here the text is explicitly using the masculine form. You chose to personify Love as a female, but "Amore" in Italian is masculine, so "essere partito" still refers to Love. The biggest problem, though, is how you translated the passato remoto. In English a simple past was enough, no reason to resort to a present perfect. You correctly used the simple past in the previous line, so I'm not sure what happened here.

BlackSea4everBlackSea4ever
   Sáb, 27/03/2021 - 03:22

Josh,
Thank you so much! I appreciate all your notes.
I will sleep on it, but I think I will be removing this entry because I failed to reach a poetic translation and went too far from the true-to-the-meaning one. Though, I must admit, the process was enjoyable.
I hope to see [@MichaelNa] translation here - it's really good!
Thanks!

AnerneqAnerneq
   Sáb, 27/03/2021 - 09:39

Well, translating poetry is hard, but I think you've done a nice job regardless.
Maybe next time you should translate an easier text. If your level in Italian isn't too high, it would be better to start with something easier and then raise the bar gradually as you improve.

BlackSea4everBlackSea4ever
   Lun, 29/03/2021 - 00:22

For every thank I get, i feel remorse. Please kindly look at the version next to mine by MichaelNa - all the praise belongs to it. I heard today, from a comedian at that!, we don’t want to hear the truth so we tend to easier accept the lies. I didn’t lie, but painted a picture that’s not the true likeness - check out the real thing. Thanks.

wisigothwisigoth    Dom, 04/04/2021 - 17:12

If I may, my 2 kopecks. Italian has both "love" and "time" as equals, the are both masc. and so they are on the same footing. And your English text posits them as a "guy" and a "gal". This brings a different dynamics, imho.
Btw you can find this text online with a title that's longer.
And last, I get a sense of an unfinished, unedited text when I read and re-read the original. Is it just perfection of a *baroque* broken line twist... can anyone weigh in on this?
And, reading one of the comments, does it suggest that "love" is hiding in a corner of her own heart? I have a hard time visualizing such a scene. Many thanks, Диана [@BlackSea4ever] !

wisigothwisigoth    Dom, 04/04/2021 - 00:59

Разные переводчики сообщают, что любовь находилась в сердце -
- которое принадлежит времени
- которое принадлежит любви
- принадлежит кому-то, или оно само по себе
Иосиф [@SpeliAm] один говорит, что любовь в "закуточке", т.е. где-то то в укромном уголке, где находится, собственно, и сердце

BlackSea4everBlackSea4ever
   Dom, 04/04/2021 - 02:22

Ed, I like MichaelNa’s neighboring translation which managed to preserve the ambiguity of the original.
Come and read it carefully - you’ll see. I repeat that it felt wonderful for me to wander into your and others poetic world, but I don’t quite belong... A Russian Yankee in King Arthur's Court... lol.