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Разделённые бременем часовых поясов (Razdelyonnyye bremenem chasovykh poyasov) (traducción al Inglés)

Разделённые бременем часовых поясов

Разделённые бременем часовых поясов
Мы плутаем меж тысячи нам чужих голосов.
У ретивого времени не сбавляется бег,
И привстав в звонком стремени мы летим через век.
 
Но в безумной погоне той нас окликнут друзья
И на миг остановится круговерть бытия,
Песни, трели и сказки тронут тонкий эфир
И вернутся вдруг краски в этот суетный мир.
 
Publicado por LizzzardLizzzard el Mié, 23/09/2020 - 18:05
Comentarios del remitente:

для моего друга, Пьера)

traducción al InglésInglés (poetic, rhyming)
Alinear párrafos

By the encumbrance of time zones separated

Versiones: #1#2
By the encumbrance of time zones separated,
We drift midst thousands of voices unrelated.
The zealous time doesn’t slow down its race,
And half-risen in tinkling stirrups, we fly through eon’s maze.
 
Maybe in that wild chase, our friends will call to us,
And for an instant, the whirlwind of being will thus
stop — and songs, trills, fairytales will disperse into the aether.
And suddenly, this earthly place would anew regain its colors measure.
 
¡Gracias!
thanked 8 times
This is a poetic translation - deviations from the meaning of the original are present (extra words, extra or omitted information, substituted concepts).

Feedback is appreciated. If you like or dislike something, leave a note...
The objective is to further human understanding so my feeble attempts are not copyrighted.

Publicado por BlackSea4everBlackSea4ever el Jue, 06/05/2021 - 23:01
Editado por última vez por BlackSea4everBlackSea4ever el Mié, 12/05/2021 - 16:22
Comentarios
LizzzardLizzzard    Sáb, 08/05/2021 - 16:53

Ох, Ди! спасибо огроменное!)
Мне особенно нравится эта поэтическая находка с "we fly through eons maze"
Звучит прямо захватывающе!))
♥♥♥♥♥

dmdavdmdav    Lun, 10/05/2021 - 10:12

Может быть следует пометить этот перевод как "poetic" и "rhyming"?

BlackSea4everBlackSea4ever    Mié, 12/05/2021 - 12:51

Dmitri, you didn’t like my version? I made this translation because Liz mentioned our friend who left LT months ago.
I was hoping he will hear, read, ponder on the call of his friends...and return.
My rhymes and poetic attempts aren’t great, but the sentiment is sincere. ☺️

dmdavdmdav    Mié, 12/05/2021 - 15:04

What makes you think that? I definitely like your version!
Maybe I misunderstood something... I'm relatively new to this site.
But your version is obviously rhyming. And since you have substituted some concepts from the original, I thought that it fits the LT-definition of "poetic". So, I just suggested that appropriate tags are used. That's all, no offence intended 😄

BlackSea4everBlackSea4ever    Mié, 12/05/2021 - 16:22

Oh, I’m not offended! I just feel inadequate with the rhymes I make. Lol.
Thanks!

Green_SattvaGreen_Sattva    Mié, 12/05/2021 - 18:40
BlackSea4ever schrieb:

I was hoping he will hear, read, ponder on the call of his friends...and return.

So do I. I miss him Sad smile

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