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Прощание поэта с морем (Proshchaniye poeta s morem) (traduction en anglais)

  • Artiste: Eugene Vinogradov (Евгений Виноградов)
  • Chanson: Прощание поэта с морем (Proshchaniye poeta s morem) 4 traductions
  • Traductions : allemand, anglais #1, #2, français

Прощание поэта с морем (Proshchaniye poeta s morem)

Прощание поэта с морем -
Разрыв стихий, что в них слились.
Он - гений рифмы стихотворной,
Ему подвластной и покорной,
И море - волн гонитель вздорный,
Навек проститься собрались.
 
Но друг от друга неотдельны,
Бок о бок жизнь им суждена:
Разгул лихой и вдохновенье,
Порядок рифмы и волненье...
И невозможность разделенья
Стихий тут запечатлена.
 
Publié par vevvevvevvev le Mer, 07/08/2019 - 15:22
Dernière modification par vevvevvevvev le Mar, 20/08/2019 - 06:03
traduction en anglaisanglais (métrifiée, poétique, rimante)
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A Poet's Farewell to the Sea

Versions : #1#2
A poet and the sea are parting,
Splitting the forces they contain.
The man—a genius at rhyming,
Who made rhyme malleable and pliant;
The sea—that wave-commanding tyrant
Are now forever parting ways.
 
But you can't sever their relation,
For they are bound to coexist—
The raging storm and inspiration,
The rhymes' accord and agitation…
And futile tries at separation
Of such powers this fine art depicts.
 
Publié par AlmitraAlmitra le Jeu, 21/11/2019 - 00:12
Dernière modification par AlmitraAlmitra le Lun, 25/11/2019 - 09:48
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Commentaires
AlmitraAlmitra    Jeu, 21/11/2019 - 01:02

Trust me, you'd be disappointed. I reviewed the poems I haven't discarded, and there's nothing of substance there. But I feel like, translating poetry for this site, I'm getting some of my drive back, so if inspiration hits me on the head, I should be able to write a couple of originals while I'm out. Till then... translation.

SchnurrbratSchnurrbrat    Jeu, 21/11/2019 - 00:44

You did well (as usual).
Imho, the meter suggests "to exist" or something else with two syllables, =^.
PS. "Al's original" sounds like ketchup or something. Regular smile

AlmitraAlmitra    Jeu, 21/11/2019 - 00:54

Thank you. And I see what you mean, but if you read 'bound' as a monosyllabic word, you'll get an eight-syllable line. I have the same problem with English poetry, for I often tend to read words like 'bound, found, here, where, etc.' as two syllables, whereas English poets habitually use words like 'flower, power, even,' etc. as monosyllabic.

SchnurrbratSchnurrbrat    Jeu, 21/11/2019 - 01:03

Bound is one syllable, no doubt. I probably just read it a rush:
You cannot sever their connection,
So they are bound to coexist:
=^=^=^=^=
=^=^===^
or
=^=^===^=
=^=^===^

AlmitraAlmitra    Jeu, 21/11/2019 - 01:14

Yes, I wrote it to the latter rhythm, with a pyrrhic foot in the first line. I usually try not to stress pronouns, but I guess one could probably read the lines either way.

AlmitraAlmitra    Jeu, 21/11/2019 - 10:20

In the morning, I reviewed my translation again. Had to correct a few things I didn't like. Now it should be more precise and polished. The word 'tyrant' is not an exact rhyme, but the image of a wave-commanding tyrant seems like a proper equivalent for the original image, so I decided to let it be. Plus the imperfect rhyme here, where it should have been exact, compensates for the exact rhymes in the second verse, where the first rhyme is not precise. It all balances out, I guess.