Победитель мира
The Winner of the World
Merci ! ❤ | ||
1 remerciement |
Détails des remerciements :
Utilisateur | Il y a |
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Pinchus | 2 années 6 mois |
"My road to success is always under construction" I appreciate all kinds of feedback, especially corrections, constructive criticism and suggestions for improvement.
The original title of this song was "Зимушка” ("Winter")
1. | Чëрный кот (Chernyy kot) |
2. | Старый Отель (Staryy Otel') |
3. | Звезда (Zvezda) |
Zitat:"agitates" for "волнует" is most likely not a good choice. Clearly negative connotation vs clearly positive. "excites"?
I'm not sure. "Чуть-чуть" seems to indicate this is a small aspect contrasting with the more cheerful aspects of "boogie of snowflakes" and the speaker acknowleding how beautiful the day is (Какой красивый день!).
Zitat:The nuance in "вёснушка "dear spring" "jolly spring" - something affectionate, same with the title.
Yes, but English can't capture that nuance very well, so translators of all levels of experience usually seem to omit it. Consider how extensively affectionate diminutives are sometimes used in folk songs. Using an adjective like "dear" and "jolly" every time would be excessive, while not really achieving the same function as the Russian words.
In conjunction with that, in this case, "dear' would make the title sound like it is in the vocative case (like "Dear Abby") and "jolly" sounds quite silly. People hardly ever use 'jolly" anymore, except in expressions like "he's a jolly good fellow" and 'jolly Old Saint Nicholas'
> People hardly ever use 'jolly"
People never use "вёснушка". It is such a standout in this text, that it probably deserves some acknowledgment. The less modern the better.
I am not saying that either "dear" or "jolly" is good. But something would be good. That's how Aguzarova and the genre that she is in are different from the mainstream
I've heard "зимушка" used. Once. In an old song. Could have been a song for kids.
Regarding "agitates". I see your point with "Чуть-чуть". Some additional points of mine: I don't think "agitates" meshes well with "a bit" in general. My personal sense. I could be wrong. Suppose the connotation is negative as in "concerns". You would think that there would be some indication in the rest of the text why it concerns her. There's none. It does not make a lot of sense.
In general, based on my personal feel for usage in Russian "волнует" in the sense of "concerns" though possible would be very rare and
it is typically a strong word - way stronger than concerns, kinda at the level of "scares". So "волнует чуть-чуть " would be a bit (чуть-чуть)
oxymoronic. It is very different from the reflexive form - "Я немножко волнуюсь" - "I am a little bit nervous" would be very normal and is used
all the time. Additionally, it is hard to imagine what in the tint of the sun could have agitated her, it's not clouds that promise bad weather.
Though I know close to nothing about the sun and its tints.
I think I will go with your suggestion - 'excites' - as it can at least be more ambiguous, in the sense that a positive or negative feeling can be "excited" (aroused/stirred up) in a person.
Zitat:I am not saying that either "dear" or "jolly" is good. But something would be good.
I don't think there is any good way of dealing with this diminutive usage in the English language. Would you also put an adjective before "sun" to translate солнышко in this line:
"Где солнышко, где солнышко, где солнышко в полнеба."?
To me the line would seem unwieldy translated as "where the jolly sun, where the jolly sun, where the jolly sun..."
Regarding the diminutive usage. I haven't given it a really serious thought. I just firmly believed that those things are what makes this particular singer and her genre "different" from the mainstream Russian pop culture, so it would be too bad not to do something to "represent" that.
Maybe not exactly the diminutive, but something else to give a flavor which is "weirder" from the mainstream perspective. Just a thought, not fully formed admittedly. I'll think about it.
In your example of "солнышко" which is a much much more common word and the fact that it's repeated many times. Assuming we accepted "jolly" we don't have to put in every place where солнышко is, but maybe just once - to give a flavor. And this is not word for word so why not.
I will think about it more.
Thanks for your suggestions and sharing your thoughts.
Hi Kevin,
I've had a couple of thoughts on how to represent those Russian diminutives. One is a general "directional" thought and the other is a specific
suggestion.
The general thought is nothing really new but flows from the Russian term for those situations. I think that " уменьшительное" is almost never used on its own. It's pretty much always "уменьшительно-ласкательное" so idea is to look for something totally on the affection side like "darling". I know I suggested "dear" before, but it is more formal and "taken".
The specific suggestion is to use the word "baby", like in winter-baby and/or spring-baby. Something like a hyphen would be needed to prevent turning winter and spring into adjectives.
Hi Igor,
Something interesting: I recently found out that there is an alternative title for this song "Победитель мира/"The Winner of the World": https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XeyVPVpp0T0&list=OLAK5uy_nbBXN4fUnhSKsGm...
"Название “Зимушка” было дано в первом издании альбом, в 1990, а также во втором, в 2000 и в последующих переизданиях: в 2003 и в 2004. Песня “Зимушка” также присутствовала на альбоме “The Best” 1999 года Только после появления альбома “Русский альбом” в 2019 на мировом музыкальном сервисе ITunes, название композиции было перейменовано в “Победитель мира”"
https://genius.com/Zhanna-aguzarova-winter-the-winner-of-the-world-lyrics
Therefore I can avoid translating "Зимушка" in the title.
I like "The Winner of the World" - it captures the more important sentiment of the song ("Ты - победитель мой")
Zitat:The specific suggestion is to use the word "baby", like in winter-baby and/or spring-baby. Something like a hyphen would be needed to prevent turning winter and spring into adjectives.
It's an interesting suggestion. "Winter-baby" doesn't sound bad on its own as a translation of the original title of the song. But to me, it and "summer-baby", sound out of place in the lyrics themselves: "What a beautiful day! / But the winter-baby departs" "What a beautiful day! /But the spring-baby departs". I don't know why. Maybe it sounds too much like a reference to a baby, or as if it calling someone a baby ("but the spring, baby, departs.")
Yeah, Kevin, those are hard choices often because of our personal ingrained connotations. When my kids were babies I didn't speak English
( well, not as much as now), so the word "baby" for me belongs to love songs lyrics almost totally. That's what I said - if there were a way to convey that it is the spring that is called "baby". The hyphen was the best I could think of. Regardless of this specific song I thought it is an interesting issue/problem - how to adequately translate shades of meaning that in the original language are conveyed by something as simple as a suffix.
I've been long fascinated with prepositions and phrasal verbs in English and by how many different meanings a simple verb like "get" for example, can have combined with different prepositions. Of course "приставки" play a similar role in Russian, but on a much narrower scale and also when you grow up of them of being "приставки", you just take them as different words: вышел, пришел, подошел, зашел, ушел, перешел, отошел, etc I wonder if "нашел" is related, it sounds like it does.
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"Название “Зимушка” было дано в первом издании альбом, в 1990, а также во втором, в 2000 и в последующих переизданиях: в 2003 и в 2004. Песня “Зимушка” также присутствовала на альбоме “The Best” 1999 года Только после появления альбома “Русский альбом” в 2019 на мировом музыкальном сервисе ITunes, название композиции было перейменовано в “Победитель мира”"
https://genius.com/Zhanna-aguzarova-winter-the-winner-of-the-world-lyrics