I think that the first job of a translator is to try and “see” the original language, preferably even to understand it. The words in the target language can be fit to the source language, but in the source language they are “casted in concrete” – you have to address them. I do not speak French but I do understand Polish. In my opinion both French translations are quite similar (especially if you would help her instead of jumping on the wagon and advertising “your translation”). Yours is a better French (are you surprised ?). You may ask how do I know. Well, I see the juggling of tenses and conditionals. I don’t understand the nuances, I couldn’t do it in French but I definitely can see it.
Both translations have the same mistake/misunderstanding. You have to know that in Polish there is the same, identical word for a lock and a castle (like German: Schloss and schließen but even “a closer bond”). You both translated it as a castle, She, I think (I assume she knows Polish) “took a wrong turn” in a French Dictionary. You probably because you didn’t know about two separate meanings and took wrong French word (or, perish the thought, just followed blindly her choice without checking it). BTW: all the other translators (except a Pole from Polish to English – the same two mistakes: abyss and castles) came in with flying colors on this, Russians and Belorusssians automatically. as in their languages there is also a single word for lock and castle, and the others just did their work as it was supposed to be done.
However, only yours has in my eyes major fault in the first line (except from youngster from Poland who, alas, is fluent in English).
The first line in Polish says: „Pewnego dnia odnajdziemy nasze głębie”. The last word is „głębie”. It is literally (ours) depths. The poem is optimistic: the depth here is a counter point to “shallows” and no more. “We are deep, not shallow but we didn’t reach yet all ours depths, but when we reach them ...”. “profondeurs” is fitting ( nothing to be ashamed of) and doesn’t have any negative connotation. You, for the most optimistic poem chose “abîmes“ – dark, frightening, changing the whole meaning (or at least weight) of the poem. Abyss is endless, dark, unconquerable (and goes by different word in Polish). We are not told to discover and conquer eternal abyss, just to reach the depths of ourselves (our souls call it). By the way, when translating, in French dictionary it’s further down the line then “profondeurs”. So your translation is in better French but in my opinion it’s a little misleading, doesn’t convey the message of the poet. That’s what I meant by “understanding source language”

I saw at least part of these things and know my count of one, two...many in both Polish and French, it's doors and houses. Still, about third to half of it was identical so I wondered but with this translation as example I apologize, I truly do. Actually I remember I did the same here once. Read a translation of Polish to English where the translator "studied" both languages. The main idea in Polish was botched, he(she) did not understand it and translated it under false premises (the English was better, so what ?). I was angry, translated it en passant (Chess not French :-) and forgot it.
Sorry once again.
"profondeurs" - well, not of the cuff. And I know it's not negative in French, I never said it (well how can it be, it's Latin translation of Hebrew). “abîmes“ is dark and negative and in direct contradiction to the spirit of the poem. Somehow it seems to me very wrong to appear here even if on the face of it seems to fit. Perhaps because I am sensitive directly to the Polish source.

Wishing you a serene, happy weekend, gentlemen. I hope everything's clear now and we can all stop worrying about anything.

Israel, thanks for appreciating my translation from Italian; it's really uplifting when I think my skills are on a downward curve. BTW, I'd prefer to leave "pani" for more official situations than communication with LT users ;)