Imperator i ten' | Император и тень (फ्रेंच में अनुवाद)

प्रूफरीडिंग का अनुरोध किया

Imperator i ten' | Император и тень

Опять из темноты они идут за мной,
Бесшумны и глухи к угрозам и мольбам,
То прячутся в углу, крадутся за спиной,
То, будто лебезя, стекаются к ногам.
Их тысячи, они, без страха и стыда,
Последуют за мной на эшафот и в ад…
А если ада нет? То, может быть, тогда
Исчезну навсегда. Я буду только рад:
Покоясь в пустоте, развеян, словно прах,
Я позабуду ту, с кем обручен навек.
И мой постыдный страх пред тенью на стене
Мне говорит, что я всего лишь человек.
LizzzardLizzzard द्वारा सोम, 12/08/2019 - 20:41 को जमा किया गया
आख़िरी बार मंगल, 13/08/2019 - 21:54 को LizzzardLizzzard द्वारा संपादित
जमा करने वाले के कमेंट:

второе название "Сциопофобия"
давний-давний стих

फ्रेंच में अनुवादफ्रेंच (equirhythmic, rhyming)
Align paragraphs

L'empereur et l'ombre

Sortant de l'ombre revient leur silencieux troupeau.
J'ai beau les menacer, j'ai beau les supplier,
Tantôt ils disparaissent dans les coins, dans mon dos,
tantôt ils se bousculent servilement à mes pieds
Leur multitude, ni peur ni honte ne la retient.
Ils me suivraient partout, en enfer, au gibet.
Mais s'il n'y a pas d'enfer, alors je pourrais bien
disparaitre à jamais. Quel bonheur ce serait !
Reposant dans le vide, répandu alentour,
je pourrais oublier ma promise de toujours.
Et cette peur honteuse d'une ombre sur le mur
me rappelle à mon lot d'humaine créature.
Do whatever you want with my translations.
They no more belong to me than the air I breathe.
silencedsilenced द्वारा गुरु, 05/09/2019 - 22:54 को जमा किया गया
लेखक के कमेन्ट:

That French really doesn't read that well, the meaning is a bit stretched and the rhymes are not the richest ever.
There is still much work to be done Regular smile

The author of translation requested proofreading.
It means that he/she will be happy to receive corrections, suggestions etc about the translation.
If you are proficient in both languages of the language pair, you are welcome to leave your comments.
LizzzardLizzzard    गुरु, 05/09/2019 - 23:28

Thanks to you, I started looking for robots that speak French)) I can say that female voices can be very suitable for poems!
And your graceful style is felt even in translation I demanded from GT.
Thank you very much! ♥

silencedsilenced    शुक्र, 06/09/2019 - 00:14

GT misses a few key constructs, like "j'ai beau faire..." -> "no matter what I do..."
If you're curious about the French structure, there is a rough equivalent:

Emerging from the shadow, their silent flock comes again.
No matter my threats, no matter my pleas,
sometimes they vanish in the corners, behind my back,
sometimes they clump obsequiously at my feet.

Neither fear nor shame can hold back their multitude
They would follow me anywhere, into hell, to the gallows,1
but if there is no hell, then I might well
vanish forever. What a bliss that would be!

Lying in the void/emptiness, spread all around2,
I could forget about my everlasting bride.
And the shameful fear of a shadow on the wall
reminds me my fate/lot of human creature.

  • 1. inverted for the rhyme
  • 2. the verb is rather used for a liquid or a powder, so that somewhat conveys the idea of "like dust"
LizzzardLizzzard    शुक्र, 06/09/2019 - 00:29

perfectly! I came here because languages and translations are insanely interesting topic. and now you illustrate how awesome it is! thank you so much!)

P.s. "gallows" and "spread all around" are absolutely good decisions. I have nothing against it at all

silencedsilenced    शुक्र, 06/09/2019 - 01:54

We are on the same wavelength there. I usually spend more time chatting about other people's translations than working on mine.

LizzzardLizzzard    शुक्र, 06/09/2019 - 09:45

This is also an important matter! XD
After all, translators are also interested in talking about their work)