Не позволяй душе лениться! | Ne pozvolyay dushe lenit'sya! (Angol translation)

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Proofreading requested

Не позволяй душе лениться! | Ne pozvolyay dushe lenit'sya!

Не позволяй душе лениться!
Чтоб в ступе воду не толочь,
Душа обязана трудиться
И день и ночь, и день и ночь!
 
Гони её от дома к дому,
Тащи с этапа на этап,
По пустырю, по бурелому
Через сугроб, через ухаб!
 
Не разрешай ей спать в постели
При свете утренней звезды,
Держи лентяйку в черном теле
И не снимай с нее узды!
 
Коль дать ей вздумаешь поблажку,
Освобождая от работ,
Она последнюю рубашку
С тебя без жалости сорвёт.
 
А ты хватай её за плечи,
Учи и мучай дотемна,
Чтоб жить с тобой по-человечьи
Училась заново она.
 
Она рабыня и царица,
Она работница и дочь,
Она обязана трудиться
И день и ночь, и день и ночь!
 
Kűldve: Alexander FreiAlexander Frei Péntek, 07/06/2019 - 11:45
Last edited by FloppylouFloppylou on Kedd, 13/08/2019 - 10:10
Submitter's comments:

1958

Angol translationAngol
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Don't Let Your Soul Get Lazy!

Versions: #1#2
Don't let your soul get lazy!
so that all it does is beat a dead horse. 1
Your soul needs to be working all the time,
day and night, night and day.
 
Don't let it wander from house to house
drag it of the stage
from barren lands, from upon the wind,
out of a snowdrift, and over life's bumps!
 
Don't let it stay sleeping in bed.
By morning's first light,
work it hard to exhaustion 2
and never let go of its reins.
 
If you let your soul do what it wants
letting it do nothing
or it will tear off your last shirt
without mercy. 3
 
Grab it by its shoulders.
Teach and reprimand it before it's too late 4
So that it will live with you like like it's human
knowing how to learn again.
 
A soul is your slave and your queen
It's your worker and daughter
It must be forced to work
day and night, and night and day!
 
  • 1. lit: "trying to grind water with in a stone bowl" {idiomatic: "doing worthless things"}
  • 2. idiom that's hard to translate directly
  • 3. these two lines are reversed in Russian as lit: "She, your last shirt, from you without mercy will tear off."
  • 4. lit: "before the dark"
Kűldve: Phil AmbroPhil Ambro Hétfő, 12/08/2019 - 20:35
Added in reply to request by Ivan LudenIvan Luden
Szerző észrevételei:

A few minor changes for the English ear, and one phrase that MUST NOT be translated literally into English "Держи лентяйку в черном теле" was slightly modified.

The author of translation requested proofreading.
It means that he/she will be happy to receive corrections, suggestions etc about the translation.
If you are proficient in both languages of the language pair, you are welcome to leave your comments.
Hozzászólások
BlackSea4everBlackSea4ever    Hétfő, 12/08/2019 - 20:40

#2 Means "not to grind water in the bowl." As in mortar and pestle.

Phil AmbroPhil Ambro    Hétfő, 12/08/2019 - 20:42

Thanks, we don't use "mortar" like that anymore. Mortar is a type of cement now. So I was confused. Sorry. Thanks for the clarification. So, figuratively, it means "don't let it be idle" or "don't let it become futile"?

BlackSea4everBlackSea4ever    Hétfő, 12/08/2019 - 20:44

It is futile to grind water. And we sure do use it like that - check out Williams Sonoma

Phil AmbroPhil Ambro    Hétfő, 12/08/2019 - 20:47

THANKS! I'm trying to think of an English idiom like that. If I come up with one, I'll put it in there. So far, I haven't thought up one.

BlackSea4everBlackSea4ever    Hétfő, 12/08/2019 - 20:55

No idiom needed - don't let your soul get lazy (complacent isn't the right choice IMHO) ,
Dont let it grind water uselessly
Your soul needs to labor (no need to add extra words )

Phil AmbroPhil Ambro    Hétfő, 12/08/2019 - 21:24

Yeah, I thought long and hard about that.
"Don't let your soul get lazy" just sounds weird to me for some reason. I don't know why. I guess you're right though. But, I have to admit, it does sound weird. I'm gonna change it, though, because it does make more sense with the rest of the poem. You're right. But, does it sound weird in Russian too?

Phil AmbroPhil Ambro    Hétfő, 12/08/2019 - 21:13

"beating a dead horse"!!!! That's the perfect synonym for this idiom. It's completely useless to beat a dead horse!!!
Another joke we have, is similar, but it's not an idiom. "What do you name a deaf dog?"
Answer: "It doesn't matter, he's not going to come anyway."

Phil AmbroPhil Ambro    Hétfő, 12/08/2019 - 21:17

It's funny! I have one of those things. But, we call it a "grinding bowl". I guess that's what it was originally called. But then we got electric grinders. Now, people are buying the old grinding bowls again. But, those terms make no sense anymore, "mortar and pestle" sounds like "cement and the things that come out of the middle of a flower". So we call them "grinding bowls" now, and most of them are made out of wood.

Phil AmbroPhil Ambro    Kedd, 13/08/2019 - 02:31

Wow! You know how to shop Amazon!!! I have never heard of that! Kudos to you! So, I have to admit you're right! Although, in my own defense, I can't shop for a mortar and pestle if I don't know what it is. I don't shop Amazon. And, locally, I just bought mine in kitchen stores, so what would I know. LOL.

SchnurrbratSchnurrbrat    Kedd, 13/08/2019 - 02:37

Phil, If we will continue this discussion, "mortar and pestle" will skyrocket. Teeth smile

BlackSea4everBlackSea4ever    Kedd, 13/08/2019 - 02:38

If you should look up the way I do:
Mortar and pestle are implements used since ancient times to prepare ingredients or substances by crushing and grinding them into a fine paste or powder in the kitchen, laboratory, and pharmacy.
The mortar is a BOWL, typically made of hard wood, metal, ceramic, or hard stone, such as granite.

MityMity    Kedd, 13/08/2019 - 15:33

Sorry, I do not know what "WE don't use "mortar" like that anymore" means, but after 20 years of living in Australia, I can claim with 100 percent confidence that "WE use it all the time". Besides, if you search for "mortar and pestle" ads, you will be surprised at the number of offers to buy "mortar and pestle". Am I getting something wrong here?

Phil AmbroPhil Ambro    Kedd, 13/08/2019 - 17:52

Nope! Not getting anything wrong here. Just that we Americans are stupid and don't call it that. LOL
Seriously. I bet that name is on the package in the kitchen store, but they're called "spice grinders", and they're normally made out of wood here, so why would they be called "mortar" unless they were stone?
But, thanks for clearing that up. You Australians are so sophisticated! Regular smile

BlackSea4everBlackSea4ever    Hétfő, 12/08/2019 - 20:51

Держи лентяйку в черном теле -- means to treat hashly and keep labor intensive, sometimes starve

Phil AmbroPhil Ambro    Hétfő, 12/08/2019 - 21:12

Thank you! I never would have figured that out!!!! So, maybe something like "Keep its nose to the grindstone, and keep it hungry"? (Nose to the grindstone - keep it working hard, keep it hungry - keep it wanting more)

BlackSea4everBlackSea4ever    Hétfő, 12/08/2019 - 21:44

It says that in order for the soul not to uselessly waste time, it should work day and night.

Phil AmbroPhil Ambro    Kedd, 13/08/2019 - 16:54

Wow! My Russian is horrible, I never would've pronounced it like that. I must speak Russian like a robot. Confused smile

MityMity    Kedd, 13/08/2019 - 15:14

Hi, Not sure about the etiquette when presenting comments. Anyhow, here is my input regarding translation accuracy, as some meaning in certain sentences is not reflected accurately:

1. Гони её от дома к дому.......................Expel it from one house to another. (Not: take your soul with you)

2. Освобождая от работ.............Allowing it to do just nothing. (Not: it will do nothing)

3. Она последнюю рубашку С тебя без жалости сорвёт...............It will tear off your last shirt without mercy. (Not: It'll become your last shirt and you'll be sorry when you tear it).

4. Чтоб жить с тобой по-человечьи Училась заново она.............To live with you like it was human, That she be able to learn anew.

Well, that's it. Regards.

Phil AmbroPhil Ambro    Kedd, 13/08/2019 - 16:55

Thank you for allowing me to understand these subtle nuances, and Russian has so many of them. Thank you all!
Updating. And, I did misunderstand a few words there, I thought it was снова and not занова, and a few other words too. Thanks for the help.

MityMity    Kedd, 13/08/2019 - 17:10

If you've got time, check out my attempt at translating it. Would be nice to hear your thoughts.