Yes, some minor improvements but you also *took away* some nuances, for instance the Russian word "Towarisch" in the German text. IMHO, just as this Russian word is transcribed to German, it should be transcribed into English "Tovarishch" instead of being translated. If the German text said "Kamerad" or "Genosse", then "Comrade" would be fine. But that's not the case...
Also, the formatting is quite a bit off in your new version. It's no longer possible to correlate the German and English line by line / stanza by stanza...
"Vodka is supposed to be drank pure and cold." It's not very common to use "drank" as past participle. As a native English speaker, it sounds weird to me, although it grammatically is correct. I'd change it to "drunk" which is way more commonly used.
"Door" and "Mirror" need an article since they're countable nouns. "A door", "The door", or "Doors" are correct. Leaving out the article is incorrect. (You may leave it out in German, Swedish, Finnish, etc. but you must have it in English! Leaving it off results in what I call "broken English" - something said or written by a non-native speaker. https://thegrammarexchange.infopop.cc/topic/countable-noun-without-article )
"Gaffer" is a very specific word and the use of it here is odd, to say the least. Makes me think you pulled it from a dictionary. I think you wanted it to say "old man", but that meaning of "gaffer" is long lost. From Merriam-Webster: "Today gaffer is usually applied to the head lighting electrician on a movie set." https://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/gaffer
And finally I don't agree with the use of "vast" for "groß":
"Deine Seele ist so groß" = "Your soul is so big"
"Deine Seele ist so weit" =" Your soul is so vast"
The existing translation is quite nice, but I was missing some of the nuances present in the original text (despite the fact that this song is as commercial as it gets, the German language still carries some deeper meaning in some of the words used). Anyway, at least it is a second opinion, right? :-)