Russia is waging a disgraceful war on Ukraine. Stand With Ukraine!
Prière pour soi (Angol translation)
Proofreading requested
Angol translationAngol
/Francia
A
A
Prayer for oneself
For the days when I’ll be sad
For the days when I’ll no longer have any desires
These days when I’ll have to let in the light
Through tiny, tiny holes
For the days when I’ll be in pain
For the days when my heart will feel alone
Even in the middle of a crowd of well known faces
These days when I’ll bury my tears under the sheets,
In the greatest secrets
For these days I call upon the warrior within me
Give give give me strength
You whose weapons are love, light and joy
I make room for you on this day of distress
So that you cut the black of your iron blade
Give give me the strength to take my head off
The thoughts that oppress, the stories that cause me pain, the people that have injured me
And the skin that I shed to relieve myself
To renew myself non-stop
Save me, save me from myself
Save me from the pain
That I’m carrying on this day
For the days when I’ll be empty
Lacking projects, (lacking) desires
For the days when the immense, immense loneliness will be in my body and in my heart
For the days I vow to always remember that I experienced colds
The long dry years but I made it out of them, yes I made it out of them
The right bust and the eye of those who have already seen worse
Fallen a lot lower
Much further than the void but I made it out, yes I made it out
For these days I call upon the warrior within me
Give give give me strength
You whose weapons are love, light and joy
I make room for you on this day of distress
So that you cut the black of your iron blade
Give give me the strength to take my head off
The thoughts that oppress
The stories that cause me pain
The people that have injured me
And the skin that I shed to relieve myself
To renew myself non-stop
Save me, save me from myself
Save me from the pain to avoid this day
For the days when I’ll be empty
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Kűldve: 
heydina Szerda, 09/03/2022 - 14:50
heydina Szerda, 09/03/2022 - 14:50The author of translation requested proofreading.
It means that he/she will be happy to receive corrections, suggestions etc about the translation.
If you are proficient in both languages of the language pair, you are welcome to leave your comments.
It means that he/she will be happy to receive corrections, suggestions etc about the translation.
If you are proficient in both languages of the language pair, you are welcome to leave your comments.
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All the future tenses in Verse 1 are technically wrong: we would use the present. But I think I'd leave them as they are as there are so many it kinds of makes a feature of the unusual syntax, and makes it clear they do all lie ahead, which otherwise in English is ambiguous.
However
So that you cut the black of your iron blade - for you to hack through the blackness with your iron blade
take my head off - too suggestive of decapitation for me: to pull from my head
the skin - I think 'skins' is fine as in French (a snake sheds many skins over its lifetime)
to relieve myself - too suggestive of using the toilet for me: to unburden myself
that I'm carrying on this day - that I bear to this day (I think)
experienced colds - too suggestive of 'les rheums' for me: known freezes? or chills?
the right bust and the eye of those - head held high and with the look of one
avoid this day - ward off that day (I think)