Dickpic (Angol translation)

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Proofreading requested
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Dickpic

Ich fühle mich oft allein.
Die Auswahl ist viel zu groß.
Wo ist mein Mr. Right?
Wie findet man den Einen bloß?
 
Der von Elitepartner hat viel Geld.
Der Typ von Tinder is' 'n Augenschmaus.
Der bei Knuddels ist ein Mann von Welt.
Der von Grindr scheidet leider aus.
 
Doch bei dem einen hab' ich jetzt ein gutes Gefühl.
Vielleicht bin ich schon bald zu zweit?
Denn der Typ ist echt süß und hastig (?).
Das wurde auch mal langsam Zeit!
Wir haben uns zweimal schon geschrieben.
Ich hoffe, dass heut' etwas passiert.
Ich wollte g'rade meine Beine rasieren,
Als plötzlich mein Handy vibriert...
 
Verrät er mir seinen richtigen Namen,
Oder schickt er mir ein Liebeslied?
Der Anhang ist nun endlich geladen -
Es ist ein Foto von seinem Glied!
 
Dickpic, ein Dickpic,
Ein Dickpic, Dickpic.
Klick, klick.
Es ist ein Dickpic.
 
Ich freu' mich über nette Worte,
Oder einen Blumenstrauß,
Träum' mich mit ihm an ferne Orte,
Doch er packt lieber seine Nudel aus.
 
Ich sehne mich nach 'nem romantischen Dinner -
Es muss auch gar nicht teuer sein -,
Doch er liegt nackt in seinem Zimmer,
Fotografiert mir sein drittes Bein!
 
Der Typ von Parship hat 'ne tolle Frisur.
Der von ... (?) ist ziemlich reich.
Der von Snapchat hat 'ne Spitzenfigur
Doch in einem sind sie alle gleich:
 
Ich kenn' nicht mal ihre Namen,
Nicht ihre Häuser, ihren Beruf.
Aber ohne mich zu fragen,
Schicken sie ein Bild, wie Gott sie schuf!
 
Dickpic, ein Dickpic,
Ein Dickpic, Dickpic.
Klick, klick.
Es ist ein Dickpic.
 
Wenn 'ne Olle euch bei Tinder right swipet1
Dann seht ihr besser zu, dass ihr bereit seid.
Shorts runter, Handy raus, bevor es zu spät ist.
Frauen lieben nichts mehr, als 'n Foto von 'nem Penis.
Dein Lörres sollte stehen wie ein strammer Soldat,
Und die Eier müssen dick sein, wie Jabba the Hutt.
Wichtig für ein Dickpic ist das richtige Licht,
Denn nichtig für dein Dickpic ist ein Pickelgesicht.
Jetzt bekommt ihr von mir den wohl wichtigsten Ratschlag:
Nehmt immer eine sehr kleine Banane als Maßstab.
Und wenn ihr's nicht aus Verseh'n an eure Mütter verschickt,
Heißt es Liebe, Liebe auf den ersten Klick.
 
Dickpic, ein Dickpic,
Ein Dickpic, Dickpic.
Klick, klick.
Es ist ein Dickpic.
 
Mach mir Komplimente!
Pack deine Nudel wieder ein!
Ich kenne dein Gesicht nicht -
Außerdem ist er ganz schön mickrig.
 
  • 1. Eindeutschung von engl. "to swipe", hier: nach rechts wischen auf dem Touchscreen eines iPhones
Kűldve: LadyMelusine Csütörtök, 20/09/2018 - 07:01
Last edited by Hansi K_Lauer on Szombat, 22/09/2018 - 04:43
Align paragraphs
Angol translation

Dick pic

I often feel alone.
Much too much choice.
Where is my Mr. Right?
How can I find the one, already?
 
The one from Elitepartner is a moneybag.
The guy from Tinder is pure eye candy.
The one on "Cuddles" is a man of the world.
The one from Grindr1 is out, unfortunately
 
But I've got a good feeling about this one.
Maybe my single days2 will be over soon.
The guy is so sweet and keen.
It's about time something happens!
We wrote to each other twice already.
I hope something happens today.
Just as I decided to shave my legs,
my phone suddenly vibrates.
 
Would he reveal his real name?
Or maybe send me a love song?
The attachment is downloaded at last.
It's a picture of his member!
 
Dick pic. A dick pic!
A dick pic! Dick pic.
Click click
It's a dick pic.
 
I look forward to kind words
or a bouquet of flowers.
I dream of going faraway places with him,
yet he would rather pull his pecker out.
 
I long for a romantic dinner,
it doesn't even have to be posh,
while he lies stark naked in his room
and takes pictures of his third leg for me.
 
The guy from Parship has a smashing hairdo.
The one from "Lately"3 is pretty well-off.
The one from Snapchat is a real athlete,
but they all have one thing in common:
 
I don't even know their names,
nor where they live or what job they do.
And yet, without asking me, they send me
a picture of them naked as sin4
 
Dick pic. A dick pic!
A dick pic! Dick pic.
Click click
It's a dick pic.
 
When a chick right-swipes you on Tinder,
you'd better make sure you're prepared.
Pants down, phone out, before it's too late.
There's nothing women like more than a penis picture.
Your wiener shall stand like a loyal soldier,
and the balls must be fat as Jabba the Hutt.
Proper lighting is essential for a good dick pic,
since a pimply look would ruin it.
Now I'll give you my most precious advice:
always add a very small banana as a yardstick.
And if you don't mistakenly send that to your mother,
it means love at first click.
 
Dick pic. A dick pic!
A dick pic! Dick pic.
Click click
It's a dick pic.
 
Pay me some compliments.
Put your willy back in your pants.
I don't even know your face.
Besides, your thing is pretty puny.
 
  • 1. a gay dating site
  • 2. lit. "maybe I'll soon be in a couple"
  • 3. some unidentified dating site
  • 4. lit. "as God made them". Not quite sure the expression has the same meaning in English
Kűldve: Guest Csütörtök, 20/09/2018 - 08:22
Added in reply to request by LadyMelusine
Szerző észrevételei:

Not the most subtle piece of humor ever, but still funny.

The author of translation requested proofreading.
It means that he/she will be happy to receive corrections, suggestions etc about the translation.
If you are proficient in both languages of the language pair, you are welcome to leave your comments.
Carolin Kebekus: Top 3
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Coopysnoopy    Csütörtök, 20/09/2018 - 08:51

The German lyrics have been corrected and completed. Please review your translation.

Hansi K_Lauer    Péntek, 21/09/2018 - 05:13

>"Wo ist mein Mr. Right?" = Where is my Mr. Right?

>"Der von Grindr scheidet leider aus."
I corrected "Grinder" to "Grindr".
It is a dating website for gays.
Wink smile

>"Doch bei dem einen hab' ich jetzt ein gutes Gefühl."
She says: "I have a good feeling about that one guy"
(She hopes to have found the right one eventually)

>"It's a picture of his member!"
That's how it is said?
Teeth smile
>"Es ist ein Foto von seinem Glied!"
"Glied" ("limb") is a proper German word for penis
Regular smile

>"Ich freu' mich über nette Worte,"
She wants to say here: "I'd be happy to hear kind words"
(She is proposing some examples of what she'd expect how a proper lover should treat her)

>" while he lies stark naked in his room
and takes pictures of his third leg."
I'd propose to put it:
"but he lies stark naked in his room
and takes a picture of his third leg for me."

>"Der von neulich (?) ist ziemlich reich."
The correct replacement for "neulich" should probably be the name of another dating website,
sounds like "Nordy" or "Noidy" or something, although I don't get matches when I google it.

>"Der von Snapchat hat 'ne Spitzenfigur"
"Spitzenfigur" means he is very well trained, athletic, slim etc.
"The guy from Snapchat has a first class figure" oder so.

>"Wenn 'ne Olle euch bei Tinder right zweigt"
I'm not sure if "zweigt" is transliterated correctly.
I think he says another English word instead,
the word for the action of pushing to the right with your thumb the ones you like,
instead of pushing to the left the ones you don't on the touchscreen of a smartphone or tablet.
(as indicated in the video)

Correct spelling "Jabba the Hutt".
It is a "Star Wars" character
(also shown in the video)

>"Und wenn ihr's nicht aus Verseh'n an eure Mütter verschickt,"
And if you don't send it to your mothers erroneously

petit élève    Péntek, 21/09/2018 - 09:24

Thanks a lot, Hans.

Ok, the gay site makes sense. I felt I missed a joke here!

"member" is a PC way of naming the unspeakable thing, but I changed it for something more explicit Regular smile

Ich freu' mich über nette Worte -> what's wrong with "I look forward to..." ? Seems ok to me. Or is it my English?

the action of pushing to the right with your thumb the ones you like -> I'll be damned if I know how you say that Teeth smile
I would rather fondle a spider than touch one of these iThingies. Apparently that's called "swipe left/right". Let's hope that will make sense.

Jabba the Hutt -> I grew up with Star Wars, but the French names were translated every which way.
"Jabba" (жаба) means "toad" in Russian, by the way Regular smile

Hansi K_Lauer    Szombat, 22/09/2018 - 05:04

Didn't know about the "member" ...
Teeth smile

"to swipe" ! (right swipe)
Yeah, that's the word he's saying!
Thumbs up

Sciera    Péntek, 21/09/2018 - 09:51

"ausscheiden" doesn't mean "to quit" in this context but "to have to been left out of the selection". No idea how to put that into proper English.

"auspacken" to "draw"... I think the English sounds a tad too ambiguous (i.e. sounding like he would draw a picture of it), how about "pull out"?

And I would have kept "member" there.

petit élève    Péntek, 21/09/2018 - 09:56

Thanks.

I'll switch back to "member" if you think that's OK.
"draw" is used for weapons too Regular smile I can change that though.