María de la O (Angol translation)

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Proofreading requested
Angol translation

Mary of the O

For my hands, golden rings
For my fancies, coins
And to show my body off
Embroidered shawls, silken dresses
 
If I asked for the moon, he would give me the moon
It’s not in vain my non-gipsy has seen
More money than a sultan owns
 
I envy your luck,
Some women tell when they see how good I look
Poor them, they don’t know the envy
They make me feel
 
Mary of the O, how miserable
You are, gipsy woman, even having it all
You want to laugh and even your sweet eyes
Are black from suffering so much
 
Cursed money, it’s just because of it
You left the gipsy that was your love
Punishment of God, punishment of God
That is the cross you are carrying
Mary of the O
 
For his thirst I was water
For his cold, a candle
And for his gipsy Christ
A heaven of love with moon and stars.
 
A love like ours
There are not two in the world
Cursed money, that this way, from his side,
Made me go away
 
You will be more than a queen
The non-gipsy told me and I believed him
My life and my gold
I would give away now to be what I was
 
Mary of the O, how miserable
You are, gipsy woman, even having it all
You want to laugh and even your sweet eyes
Are black from suffering so much
 
Cursed money, it’s just because of it
You left the gipsy that was your love
Punishment of God, punishment of God
That is the cross you are carrying
Ay, ay, ay,
Mary of the O
 
Kűldve: Lilith78 Szerda, 24/07/2013 - 15:42
Added in reply to request by Valeriu Raut
Last edited by Lilith78 on Vasárnap, 28/07/2013 - 21:22
Szerző észrevételei:

Payo (non-gipsy) is the word Spanish gipsies use to name those who are not gipsies. I didn't find a translation that I liked better, but I accept suggestions Regular smile

The author of translation requested proofreading.
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Spanyol

María de la O

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Valeriu Raut    Csütörtök, 25/07/2013 - 04:40

Hola Lillith y gracias por una traducción muy dificil.
Siguen unas sugerencias mías.

No es deseable utilizar dos negaciones.
Aquí hay tres : It’s not for nothing my non-gipsy has seen

Tratando de seguir cada matice - pierdes el ritmo:
me dicen algunas al verme lucir > Some women tell me when they see what I wear

a mí me apartó > Made me go AWAY

Lilith78    Csütörtök, 25/07/2013 - 08:56

Gracias comentarios Valeriu:

- Non-gipsy es la traducción que he encontrado para payo (que es como los gitanos llaman a los que no lo son).
- 'Not for nothing' es una expresión que significa 'no en vano', la voy a sustituir por 'not in vain'
- 'Some women...' la cambiaré a 'some women tell when they see what I wear'. Por cierto, no sabía que el resto de la traducción sí mantenía el ritmo ;-)
- Corrijo la última sugerencia

roster 31    Vasárnap, 28/07/2013 - 16:59

I don't think this version is all that difficult, since most of it is in straight Spanish, without the 'caló' touch. Still a challenge.
I don't think, either, that "al verme lucir" translates "to see what I wear" but rather, "how good I look" or "HOW WELL I DO", in regards to popularity = shinning.
A 'payo', you are right, is 'a non gypsy', for the gypsies; for the rest of the Spaniards, a payo is 'an ignorant country man'.

Thank you, Lilith. Thank you, Vale.

Lilith78    Vasárnap, 28/07/2013 - 21:24

You are right, Roster, it is not so difficult to translate, even the caló words are well known.