Она вошла, совсем седая (Ona voshla, sovsem sedaya) (traduzione in Inglese)

Она вошла, совсем седая

Она вошла, совсем седая,
Устало села у огня,
И вдруг сказала «Я не знаю,
За что ты мучаешь меня.
Ведь я же молода, красива,
И жить хочу, хочу любить.
А ты меня смиряешь силой
И избиваешь до крови.
Велишь молчать? И я молчу,
Велишь мне жить, любовь гоня?
Я больше не могу, устала.
За что ты мучаешь меня?
Ведь ты же любишь, любишь, любишь,
Любовью сердце занозя,
Нельзя судить, любовь не судят.
Нельзя? Оставь свои «нельзя».
Отбрось своих запретов кучу,
Cейчас, хоть в шутку согреши:
Себя бессонницей не мучай,
Сходи с ума, стихи пиши.
Или в любви признайся, что ли,
А если чувство не в чести,
Ты отпусти меня на волю,
Не убивай, а отпусти».
И женщина, почти рыдая,
Седые пряди уроня, твердила:
«Я не знаю, за что ты мучаешь меня?».
Он онемел.
В привычный сумрак
Вдруг эта буря ворвалась.
Врасплох, и некогда подумать:
«Простите, я не знаю Вас.
Не я надел на Вас оковы»
И вдруг спросил едва дыша:
«Как Вас зовут? Скажите, кто Вы?»
Она в ответ: «Твоя Душа».
Postato da BlackSea4everBlackSea4ever Gio, 19/09/2019 - 22:12
Ultima modifica ltlt Gio, 21/05/2020 - 12:38
traduzione in IngleseInglese
Allinea i paragrafi

She walked in her hair gray

Versioni: #1#2
She walked in, her hair gray,
And, tired, sat down by the fire,
Suddenly, she said: "I don't know
Why you are tormenting me.
After all, I'm young and beautiful,
And want to live, and want to love.
And you by force me humble
And beat me raw until I bleed.
You will me silent?! And I'm silent,
You will me live foresaking love?!
I cannot anymore - I'm tired.
Why are you tormenting me?
After all, you do love, love, love,
With love as splinters wounding heart
Cannot judge, love can't be censured.
Cannot - you deny? Leave your denials.
Throw away your multitude of bans,
Just for fun now, make a transgression:
Don't make yourself suffer from insomnia,
Go out of your mind, write poetry.
Or at least confess to be in love,
But if the feeling has no place of honor,
Let me be free, let go of me,
Don't kill, but let me be."
And a woman, nearly weeping,
Grey tresses down, kept repeating:
"I don't know, why are you tormenting me?"
He was dumbstruck.
In this familiar twilight,
Suddenly, this storm has burst in.
Unprepared, and without time to think,
"Forgive me, I don't know who you are.
It wasn't me who put you in the shackles"
And then, barely breathing, he asked:
"What is your name? Tell me who you are?"
She, in response: "Your Soul"
thanked 6 times

Feedback is appreciated. If you like or dislike something, leave a note...
The objective is to further human understanding so my feeble attempts are not copyrighted.

Postato da BlackSea4everBlackSea4ever Ven, 20/09/2019 - 00:55
Ultima modifica BlackSea4everBlackSea4ever Ven, 27/09/2019 - 06:52
Commenti fatti
sandringsandring    Ven, 20/09/2019 - 09:07

D, hi. What does it mean (know who thy are) ? And D, you can't say that. You will me to be silent?
Will which does come from ME "want" is used as a modal verb. It's never followed by "to"

tonyltonyl    Ven, 20/09/2019 - 09:01

- know who you are

my advice: always try to google first, if you don't know the meaning of something

sandringsandring    Ven, 20/09/2019 - 11:40

Thou art or Thine art ? Anyway, both should be from Middle English. If you want to use "will" which is not a bad idea then it may go like this "You will me silenced? I'm silent. You will me live forsaking love?" That's a stretch, of course, but grammatically it's acceptable though your spelling/grammar checking programme may think otherwise. It doesn't know everything about English anyway, just ignore it in this case.


BlackSea4everBlackSea4ever    Ven, 20/09/2019 - 11:45

Neither one of you said a word about the poem - I thought it was great.
Of course, the ending was my отсебятина so I'd better remove it, but it was so nice to be defended, Tony!
N, I used "will" according to the following meaning 2c and it seems to me I can get away with it as is.
But, I'll see if I can improve the sentence. Thanks!

will verb (2)
\ ˈwil \
willed; willing; wills
Definition of will (Entry 3 of 3)
transitive verb
1a : to cause or change by an act of will
believed he could will himself to succeed
also : to try to do so
Providence wills it
d : to determine by an act of choice

intransitive verb
1 : to exercise the will
do as you will

sandringsandring    Ven, 20/09/2019 - 11:57

Deanna, this poem is well-known. Everything has been said. And what d'you mean by being "defended"? Who's attacking you? I just didn't understand what you wanted to say. If you use Thou - that's good. Just add the correct form of the verb -art and this is it.

As for will as a verb - it's a pet peeve for theoretical grammar. I didn't mind your using it. It sounds good. But the pattern is I will do - yes, Future Simple means I want to do. It's tricky so if you avoid it, Tom and I won't be shaking spears on your page.

As for Tonyl, I'll heed his advice. If I find anything I don't know I'll definitely look it up on Google. Wise idea.

BlackSea4everBlackSea4ever    Ven, 20/09/2019 - 12:06

Don't read too much - of course, you don't attack and as always, I benefit from you wealth of knowledge.
I hope my changes were for the better. And "well-known"... Ignorance is bliss. I read this poet for the first time yesterday. Lucky me.
who is Tom?

JadisJadis    Ven, 20/09/2019 - 12:16

Small typo : "repeatng" > repeating
I'm not an expert in English syntax, yet I found "I don't know / For what tormenting me you are" (and even "For what are you tormenting me?") a little contorted.
Otherwise, nice poem, I didn't know it, thanks!

sandringsandring    Ven, 20/09/2019 - 12:25

That's a good translation. What an idea! At the end I would say (know thine self) Sounds nice to me. Eternal/Immortal soul since times immemorial.

sandringsandring    Ven, 20/09/2019 - 12:19

He's a scholar around here, on LT and we sometimes discuss theoretical questions. Those who compile dictionaries may belong to different grammar schools. So their opinion may not be shared by others. But that's professional. I don't always agree with Raymond Murphy myself but that's local squabbles. So "will" is just one of the points. Its verbal status is still not clearly defined. Never mind.

But I found your idea of "thy" quite interesting. That's why I asked what you meant. I was going to prompt you with the correct form as soon as I understood what you had in mind. Middle English isn't everybody's language but sounds exciting for a change. I didn't want to hurt you. I meant only well. Regular smile

BlackSea4everBlackSea4ever    Ven, 20/09/2019 - 12:23

Not hurt! It was a totally manufactured ending due to a personal thought - I meant "know thyself"

JadisJadis    Ven, 27/09/2019 - 06:47

"She, in response: I am your Soul", that would be faithful and make a good end. The [comments] distroy it, IMHO.

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