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Le possédé (traduzione in Inglese)

Con richiesta di revisione

Le possédé

Le soleil s'est couvert d'un crêpe. Comme lui,
Ô Lune de ma vie ! emmitoufle-toi d'ombre ;
Dors ou fume à ton gré ; sois muette, sois sombre,
Et plonge tout entière au gouffre de l'Ennui ;
Je t'aime ainsi ! Pourtant, si tu veux aujourd'hui,
Comme un astre éclipsé qui sort de la pénombre,
Te pavaner aux lieux que la Folie encombre,
C'est bien ! Charmant poignard, jaillis de ton étui !
Allume ta prunelle à la flamme des lustres !
Allume le désir dans les regards des rustres !
Tout de toi m'est plaisir, morbide ou pétulant ;
Sois ce que tu voudras, nuit noire, rouge aurore ;
Il n'est pas une fibre en tout mon corps tremblant
Qui ne crie : Ô mon cher Belzébuth, je t'adore !
Pubblicato da ScieraSciera 2014-05-03
Commenti dell’autore:
traduzione in IngleseInglese
Allinea i paragrafi

The Possessed

Versioni: #1#2#3
The sun has covered himself in crepe. Like him,
O Moon of my life, wrap yourself in shadow as if in furs.1
Sleep or smoke, as you will; be silent, be dour,
And dive entirely into the abyss of Boredom.
I love you like this! Still, if you wish today,
Like a star in eclipse as it comes out of the penumbra,2
Strutting about the places overflowing with Madness,
That's fine! Charming dagger, leap from your sheath!
Enflame your gaze with the fire of a chandelier!
Enflame desire in the leers of country bumpkins!
Everything about you is a pleasure for me, morbid or impetuous.3
Be as you will, black night, red dawn.
Not a fibre in all my trembling body
Does not shout: O my dear Beelzebub, I adore you!
  • 1. There's a number of places in the original French that show a semicolon. That would be a bit strange in English so I've adjusted the punctuation according to my understanding of how this would all make some kind of sense.
  • 2. Yes, that's the word. Look up eclipse in Wikipedia or Wikipédia, depending on your language, and you'll find a great diagram showing the umbra and the penumbra.
  • 3. "Petulant" in English describes a bratty child who kicks up a fuss when he or she doesn't get his or her way.
ringraziato 1 volta
Pubblicato da Grampa Wild WillyGrampa Wild Willy 2015-01-02
Commenti dell’autore:

According to this page this is not Romanian at all, but rather a poem by the French poet Charles Baudelaire. So this is not one of my recursive translations after all, but simply a translation from a French original.
OK Val. You've quoted two translations by other people. I'm not above quoting myself!

La tua valutazione: Nessuno In media: 5 (1 vote)
L'autore della traduzione ha chiesto una revisione del testo.
Questo significa che sarebbe lieto di ricevere correzioni, consigli ecc. sulla sua traduzione.
Se hai una buona conoscenza sia della lingua di origine sia di quella della traduzione, è gradito un tuo commento.
Commenti fatti
Valeriu RautValeriu Raut    Ven, 02/01/2015 - 10:55

Happy New Year 2015 to you, dear Bill, and to your family!

Of course it's Baudelaire's poem.
What a bad idea of starting with its Romanian translation.

You have had much courage to give your own version.
A reader has difficulties to appreciate your work, since the text besides is in Romanian language.


Grampa Wild WillyGrampa Wild Willy    Ven, 02/01/2015 - 15:48

So kind of you, Val. The same to you and yours.

Is it courage or stupidity? Or an inability to recognize my own limitations? Whichever, I think I learned some new French words. I certainly didn't start with the Romanian version. I never even looked at it. It's a language I have utterly no experience with. Except for some tennis matches I watched online a couple of years ago, but I can't say such "immersion" did anything to add Romanian to my arsenal of languages.

Valeriu RautValeriu Raut    Ven, 02/01/2015 - 21:17

Hello Bill,
I have analyzed your translation.
In my opinion, it is very good, except:
- Some words have a special importance and you should write them with capitals: Lune, l'Ennui, la Folie.
- This construction seems odd: Not a fibre in all my trembling body Does not shout …

Grampa Wild WillyGrampa Wild Willy    Ven, 02/01/2015 - 21:24

Hey. It's poetry. It's supposed to be odd.

Seriously, poetic constructions are odd sometimes. This is one of those. I'm sure you've encountered plenty of that in other languages.

OK. Initial caps for those. Thanks.

Valeriu RautValeriu Raut    Ven, 02/01/2015 - 21:57

I was affraid for a doubble negation:
Not a fibre does not shout ...

Grampa Wild WillyGrampa Wild Willy    Sab, 03/01/2015 - 06:25

Oh. You know, you're right. It is a double negative. But it's a double negative in the French as well.

Il n'est pas une fibre . . . Qui ne crie

It's kind of doubly intense that way, I suppose.

Poets . . .

ScieraSciera    Lun, 23/03/2015 - 18:16

I've replaced the Romanian adaptation, which I had added here and of which I had wished a translation, with the original French lyrics since all translations added to it were based on the French text.
I've added a new entry for the Romanian adapation. I figured out in the meantime who it probably was done by.

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