Яд (traduzione in Inglese)

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Revisione appena richiesta
traduzione in Inglese

Poison

Versioni: #1#2
My blood pressure rises
I'm already running from you - you follow me
My body is red hot
It shines in the light of the cold Moon
I have nowhere to hide from you
The city shines from your name
But I know the magic word
I know how to stir panic
 
Blood flows out your skin
What can we do?
What can we multiply?
I don't need your money
I don't need your money
 
I turned off my night vision
Be afraid of me and be afraid of yourself
Nobody's screaming anyways
It's unlikely that I will be rescued
I go down below the earth like an angel
Stopping three times in a magic circle (?)
I don't need your naked truth
You're a lifeless corpse to me.
 
My blood sugar rises
I'm already running from you - you follow me
My body is red hot
It shines in the light of the cold Moon
I have nowhere to hide from you
The city shines from your name
But I know the magic word
I know how to stir panic
 
Blood flows out your skin
What can we do?
What can we multiply?
I don't need your money
I don't need your money
 
You were bitten by somebody because of such little strength
You were bitten by somebody because of such little strength
You were bitten by somebody because of such little strength
You were bitten by somebody because of such little strength
 
Postato da rakhilalala Gio, 15/11/2018 - 00:56
2
La tua valutazione: None In media: 2 (1 vote)
L'autore della traduzione ha chiesto una revisione del testo.
Questo significa che sarebbe lieto di ricevere correzioni, consigli ecc. sulla sua traduzione.
Se hai una buona conoscenza sia della lingua di origine sia di quella della traduzione, è gradito un tuo commento.
Russo

Яд

Commenti fatti
Phil Ambro    Gio, 15/11/2018 - 01:19

Is this a song about Diabetes? I really don't understand what's going on here. And, just wondering if Russians understand everything she's singing without the words written there. LOL. If you gave me clue as to what this song is about, I could help you make it make more sense in English. A couple of lines that make no sense - "The city shines from your name" ??? "Three stops - a magic circle" ???
A few minor corrections, even thought the sentences are understandable: "I don't need your MONEY".
And what do you mean by "Blood flows through your skin" ? Does that mean "You're bleeding" ??? Or is that supposed to mean "Blood courses through your veins" ??? Just wondering.
P.S. I haven't heard an American song like this since the late 80s, early 90s. It's kind of funny (strange) to hear this type of music again, and in Russian. Regular smile

rakhilalala    Gio, 15/11/2018 - 01:23

It might be about poisonous blood..? I'm not sure either, it could be about a poisonous person as she is singing about running away from somebody. I forgot to request proofreading, so if you could actually make some corrections, that'd be greatly appreciated!

Phil Ambro    Gio, 15/11/2018 - 02:04

(My blood sugar's rising.) {Although this is correct, it does sound strange. (At least to me. LOL) In English, we generally refer to this in terms of Diabetes, because most people don't understand what "blood sugar" means unless they have Diabetes, just like most people don't know about "Uric Acid" unless they have gout. So, we would most likely say something like, "My Diabetes is going crazy." Or something like that. But, even that sounds strange in a song. I guess you should leave it alone. It's fine, but it does sound weird. It's not so weird to hear something like "My blood PRESSURE's rising." That's a very common thing.}

I'm running from you, but (you're still behind me).

// It shines in the light of the cold Moon // (I don't really understand what this implies. This is my best guess.}
(By the light of the cold moon)
(There's) nowhere to hide from you.

// The city shines from your name. //
{Your presence lights up the whole city} (I really don't understand what she's trying to say here. This is my best guess.)

I know how to stir (up a) panic

// Blood flows through your skin //
(EITHER:) You're skin is bleeding. (OR:) Blood courses through your veins. {I don't know which one she means}

I don't need your (money).

"Three stops - a magic circle" {I have NO IDEA what this is supposed to mean. Is it a Russian saying? It means nothing in English}

You were bitten by somebody because (you're so weak).
{It's common for Russians to use nouns here, but in English we use verbs mostly, so this sounds much better to the English ear. And, it means the same thing.}

rakhilalala    Gio, 15/11/2018 - 02:16

Thank you for the suggestions. As for the "three stops" line, I fixed it to "Stopping three times in a magic circle" which could be referring to a pentagram, as the whole genre is about witchcraft (I think it is; Witch House). And 3 is kind of a important number in many religions, I think, especially in the Illuminati apparently. So she could likely be referring to that. And the "blood sugar" line, it does sound strange and I think your translation makes a lot more sense considering that she is running away from somebody.

OpalMoon    Sab, 08/12/2018 - 04:46

Кровь течёт по твоей коже: Skin is an external organ so the blood is on the surface here, not flowing from the body or in the veins. It's not even necessarily the blood of the person whose skin it is.

About the biting, it's actually saying that the person is weak BECAUSE they have been bitten, and not the other way around. Тебя кто-то укусил (и) от того так мало сил.

Phil Ambro    Gio, 15/11/2018 - 02:23

Yeah "Stopping three times in a magic circle", as weird as it is, makes sense. Well, the whole song is a little weird, so... LOL Regular smile

Aldefina    Lun, 19/11/2018 - 17:44

Sorry, it was not her fault that machine translators are far from being perfect.

Aldefina    Lun, 19/11/2018 - 18:01

No, I'm just reinforcing the rules of this site and this is my job here.

rakhilalala    Lun, 19/11/2018 - 18:02

tbh i cant help but get a passive-aggressive vibe, but like whatevr, i dont mind if theyre all deleted

Eagles Hunter    Lun, 19/11/2018 - 18:04

Well, Just say that all your translations you made were GoogletranslatED and you'll make moderators job much easier Regular smile

Aldefina    Lun, 19/11/2018 - 18:06

I'm afraid this is what is going to happen, but first I need to check all your translations. Maybe in some cases Goggle, Yandex or whatever did a good job and i will decide to leave them.

Igeethecat    Lun, 19/11/2018 - 18:06

OMG if it your translation, just correct it на русском языке

dionysius    Lun, 19/11/2018 - 18:07

You are not being singled out or harassed specifically. Anyone who breaks the rules of the sites gets the same treatment. Please refrain from posting machine translations.

rakhilalala    Lun, 19/11/2018 - 18:08

ok , i'm just getting rude vibes, but if thats the treatment then ill stop arguing w/ it.

Igeethecat    Lun, 19/11/2018 - 18:12

O, please high sugar and high pressure are not the same
Who’s rude here?

Phil Ambro    Lun, 19/11/2018 - 20:07

I agree. You have taken the time to respond to posts which make the translation better. And, as far as Google Translate, it's soooooooo bad that I really don't think you just copied and pasted it. I think you tried. As for the moderator (whom I really don't want to piss off) it seems that he really does want this site's content to be very good. I admire that, but at the same time, I think people who take the time (and it DOES take time) to post a translation, should be given the opportunity to improve their translations, rather than just have a bunch of disgruntled trolls insult them. There is no need to insult someone for their efforts.
That said, I must say that I do understand that the moderators do not want this site full of computer-engine translated songs. Not only is it unnecessary, because anyone can do that for themselves, but such translations are notoriously horrible, especially when translating between languages which are not of the same language base. Specifically, translation-engines do a good (not perfect, but "good") job translating between Germanic languages: English/German/Hungarian/Swedish, etc. And Slavick Languages: Russian/Ukrainian/Polish/Czech, etc. However! These engines have horrible problems when translating across platforms. From English to Russian, etc, as the languages follow completely different grammar. "I'd go with you" is probably not "Я б шёл с тoвой". And "synthesizing paperwork" is simply "making copies". So, there is a NEED (which the moderators are addressing) to try to stop people from flooding this site with cut and pasted computer generated junk.
I don't think that's what you did. (At least not using GT.) So, I think all the hatred that you have been receiving is unfounded.
So, I am sorry that people were so rude to you.
My comments were simply posted to help you make the translation a little better. We can all use a little HELP now and then. No one needs the type of UNHELPFUL trolling that you have received. But, I can't apologize for other people, and trolls never do. So, don't expect that "negative vibe" to go away. It seems that the only pleasure disgruntled trolls get out of life is to insult people who are trying the best they can. You just need to grow a thicker skin, and realize that roses don't always grow in manure. Sometimes, it just stinks.

BlackSea4ever    Lun, 19/11/2018 - 18:15

Hate to chime in. But... If a particular translation has many issues, you should save it. Admin unpublishes it. Then, You put it back in Draft and work on it - asking for help if needed. It's not personal - it's practical.

Aldefina    Lun, 19/11/2018 - 18:11

It would be better if you spared me this job and deleted your machine-made translations on your own. How about that?

ingirumimusnocte    Lun, 19/11/2018 - 18:14

Does not look like GT to me, rather wild guesses with a serious disregard for grammar.

That's how "Крик все равно никто не услышит" (nobody will hear your scream anyway) becomes "Nobody's screaming anyways".
A machine would not make that kind of mistake.

Trouble is, this makes the song completely incomprehensible.
Surely you realize some lines don't make any sense, so why bother publishing such a translation?

Igeethecat    Lun, 19/11/2018 - 18:18

That is what I am trying to say. It is not GT, but it doesn’t make sense

Aldefina    Lun, 19/11/2018 - 18:17

And that's the point, Pierre. Some of her translation are not GT or Yandex, but still they don't make sense or the sense is different than in the original lyrics and that's the reason enough to unpublish them.

ingirumimusnocte    Lun, 19/11/2018 - 18:27

I totally agree. The rules state "Only translate into languages that you are no complete beginner of".
These kinds of vocabulary and grammar errors clearly qualify as "complete beginner" to me.

Phil Ambro    Lun, 19/11/2018 - 23:13

I don't think that is reason enough to "unpublish them"! Whether a translation is perfect or 100% correct is a very subjective thing! Are we going to start unpublishing things because when a Moderator reads it, it's not the same exact wording that a moderator would have used if he/she had done the translation?! Surely not. So, OK. This translation is not good, and has some problems. I agree. However! It does NOT appear to be a GT copy and paste. AND!!! The publisher is responding to suggestions and making corrections. She requested proofreading, got it, and responded. WTH? Seems to me the publisher WAS following protocol for this site. PLUS!!! This song is gibberish garbage. I could understand if she made a mistake with Shakespeare. THIS is NOT like that. A little wiggle room would be nice. But, if that's not possible, a little civility is NOT too much to expect from Moderators.
PS: While this moderator is so bent on this whim of "unpublishing" posts. Why not unpublish:

https://lyricstranslate.com/en/kill-bill-vol1-youre-my-wicked-life-lyric...

Which violates all LT rules and protocols?! It's not even a song!!! It's a spoken-word section from a movie. Give me a break.
Bring the hammer down on this person, but not that one?
LT Moderators seem like they need a little more consistency when they do what they do, and stop being so "subjective".

Aldefina    Lun, 19/11/2018 - 18:22

Translations that are worse than GT or similar shouldn't be published. I have unpublished many of that kind. And as for the translators they should ask themselves if LT is really a place for them and draw conclusions for themselves.

Aldefina    Lun, 19/11/2018 - 18:28

Ups, Andrea's comment is gone... Only my reply is still there...

Flopsi    Lun, 19/11/2018 - 18:32

Sorry, I forgot about my "mute botton". I'm just stil mad about some translator whose translations are worse than google and I am really trying hard not to post any comments but sometimes my feelings take control. I promise I try to be a good girl.

Aldefina    Lun, 19/11/2018 - 18:39

On the contrary, if you notice something worse than a machine translation you should comment it, so that even if no moderator notices it, at least the readers will know that what they just read was a trash.

Flopsi    Lun, 19/11/2018 - 18:50

Oh, don't worry - everybody who reads those translations knows they're trash. Some - like myself - just don't know anything about grammar but got a good feeling with words. A comment on those translations will be of good help. But there is really no need to comment on any translation lacking grammar and sense. I've learned that lesson and I just have to slap my fingers to stop typing. I like to make fun of such and yeah, that's kind of rude.

BlackSea4ever    Lun, 19/11/2018 - 18:56

People, the key is make a person rethink publishing before a reasonable effort to check grammar is made. I make mistakes after publishing and M/P/N let me know it which is truly appreciated. I do it for others. Let's remind this user of some great tools available to check conjugation in Russian? Let her save her work and make it better.
Let's make as earnest effort to be kind as grammatically correct!

Igeethecat    Lun, 19/11/2018 - 19:13

Так пусть скажет, чего он/а здесь добиваться?
I was asked to check their translations, and the ones I picked — BS are the only letters I remember from English alphabet
Don’t make me to recall Russian

Eagles Hunter    Lun, 19/11/2018 - 19:14

I can't agree more with you. actually, in this exact matter, I'm in her shoes (I have a lot of translations into Russian. Every time I make one I ask for proofreading and sometimes we run a good conversation in comments below)
But she, in another translation, declared that her translation is googletranslated. How should moderators respond?
I'm a bit familiar with mistakes done by beginners: typos, wrong cases, wrong word order, .... etc. In fact, I see none of these mistakes neither here, nor in other translations of her (Check her translation named: дерьмо)
.........................
P.S:
Буду благодарен если бы Вы проверили мои последние переводы на русский (если Вам не трудно Regular smile )

Igeethecat    Lun, 19/11/2018 - 18:29
2

Не электронный перевод, но весь какой-то перевёрнутый

Phil Ambro    Lun, 19/11/2018 - 20:20

As much as I have enjoyed this complete bantering back and forth on the merits of whether to improve this translation or to completely delete it because of errors in the translation, I really don't think that THIS SONG is the one we should be fighting over! It's not exactly Tolstoy. It's not Alla Pugacheva. It's not ABBA. The song itself is jibberish and stupid. Arguing over whether the translation should be "My blood pressure rises" (which it is not, but that IS understandable in English) or whether it should be "I'm on a sugar high" (or any one of a thousand lines that we can all argue about) misses the point. This song is stupid, and no translation can really save it. I believe we should stop insulting the translator, but instead send all this vitriol to the song writer. LOL Regular smile Just sayin'.