Grandfather, singing, followed
the road which leads to a hundred years.
Death caught him in the corner of the woods
and killed him cruelly .
He had, during his life, given
so much happiness to his children
that in order to show him our gratitude for this
we did all we could for his funeral.
And off we ran as quick as we could
to get a coffin, but...
as we were short of cash,
the coffin dealer wouldn’t deal with us.
“At the grocer’s, no cash, no spices,
at fair Suzie’s house, no cash, no philandering...
dead inferior class people
are no part of my business.”
Well now, from Grandad I’d inherited
a pair of pointed boots.
If anyone needs a kick in the ass
this pair hit its spot.
It’s since that time then that the fine fellow, (X2)
Oh ! it’s not nice...
Oh ! it’s not polite...
has been cross-buttocked.
Grandad,
don’t get upset,
we’ll get to overcome
all these people who impede happy burials.
The best thing to do, and the quickest,
so that the funeral could carry on,
was to limit our requirements
to a second-hand coffin.
In exchange for a pot of honey we acquired
the four planks from a dead man who
was dreaming of offering some sweet things
to a soul-mate.
And off we ran as quick as we could
to get a hearse, but...
As we were short of cash,
the hearse agent wouldn’t deal with us.
“At the grocer’s, no cash, no spices,
at fair Suzie’s huse, no cash, no philandering...
dead inferior class people
are no part of my business.”
My boot set out, but I refuse
to say towards where,
that would embarrass the ladies
and I’ve no right to do that.
It’s since that time then that the fine fellow, (X2)
Oh ! it’s not nice...
Oh ! it’s not polite...
has been cross-buttocked.
Grandad,
don’t get upset,
we’ll get to overcome
all these people who impede happy burials.
The best thing to do, and the quickest,
so that the funeral could carry on,
was to carry the funereal burden
on our backs.
If he could have revived for a moment
Grandfather would have been happy
to go to his last resting place
like an emperor.
And off we ran as quick as we could
to get a holy water sprinkler, but...
As we were short of cash,
the clergyman wouldn’t deal with us.
“At the grocer’s, no cash, no spices,
at fair Suzie’s house, no cash, no philandering...
dead inferior class people
are no part of my benediction.”
Even before the curate
could let out a cry
I booted his arse in the name of the Father,
of the Son, and of the Holy Ghost.
It’s since that time then that the fine fellow, (X2)
Oh ! it’s not nice...
Oh ! it’s not polite...
has been cross-buttocked.
Grandad,
don’t get upset,
we’ll get to overcome
all these people who impede happy burials. (X2)
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