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    Les meurtrières → traduzione in Inglese

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The murderesses

I came to meet up with you,
But you refused to see me.
For this sailor upon his ship,
The harbor will be old tonight.
What a pity, our washed up loves.
The irony, 9-11...
Love's only to be accepted,
Not understood.
 
The streets are dead and I'm dying
To see them just as dead as me,
And the wind blows, upon the foams,
White sailboats into their stations.
The gaze locked on the telephone,
No, I won't get news anymore,
Only confusion in the eyes,
Like monastics losing the skies.
 
Future escapes the things to come
And present times never last;
Loves conjugate into the past
Whoever thought they'd be in love.
And we're not in love anymore,
Or at least it eluded us,
The indestructible that time
Takes pleasure in killing sometimes.
 
Why the hell won't you talk to me?
I guess you must have your reasons,
Those things you struggle to live with
When all passion has slipped away.
So there we go for indifference,
For all those things that make no sense
But the silence we make them say
And mascaras down in the smiles.
 
The night's shaking, we're not even.
These awful insults, I swear!
We should've made it through all this,
Patch up our injuries a bit.
But the memory's nothing new,
And neither is my violence,
These scratches deep inside of me
That taste like burials sometimes.
 
New York has put on its white coat,
And I, I've put my knives away.
You know, some day you will come back
For a coffee or whatever.
Come on, pull yourself together!
You know she's never coming back,
That the forest has caught fire
And that love has gone forever.
 
9-11 through the ashes,
The world in tears for the Center;
And I, in tears for my love,
I sure could jump from a tower.
Of course, mine is an only child,
But it would taste just like the sky,
It would taste like the tragedies,
The murderesses,
The murderesses.
 
At the marches of the New World,
Well, I say fuck the pouring rain,
I'm looking at them as they mourn
And it doesn't move me at all.
My heart's busy with other crimes,
It's busy with the love of you,
And if two towers miss in New York,
My love, you are missing to me.
 
If there's no way for love stories,
I guess, to ever go backwards,
I'm leaving just the way I came,
On a train looking for its tracks.
There's no news in the telephone,
Nothing but their dismal tribute,
Because my road is funeral,
Because my light is lacking you.
 
To the genocides they're selling,
Our consciences, the tremors,
You know all this moves me not.
And as for the fate of the Earth...
It can die off, for all I care,
As it makes me live without you,
As, without you, every daybreak
Never comes together again.
The murderesses.
The murderesses.
 
The sun is yielding silently.
It's telling me you will be missed.
On the other side of the world,
It must be yielding before you.
The sun is yielding silently.
It's telling me you will be missed.
On the other side of the world,
Yes, it is yielding before you.
 
That's it, I'm jumping, I'm worn out!
And may the seagulls take me
To the place where poets are gods,
Where the Goodbyes are I love yous;
Look at the cities from up high
And see how bright the Earth can shine;
Tell myself that, you, where you are,
You are one of those lights.
 
At the marches of the New World,
And, from their eyes, the pouring rain,
I'm looking at them as they mourn,
No, it doesn't move me at all.
My heart's busy with other crimes,
It's busy with the love of you,
And if two towers miss in New York,
My love, you are missing to me.
 
9-11 through the ashes,
The world in tears for the Center;
And I, in tears for my love,
I sure could jump from a tower.
Of course, mine is an only child,
Of course, it tastes just like the sky,
Sure, it tastes like the tragedies,
The murderesses,
The murderesses.
 
I came to meet up with you
But you refused to see me.
For this sailor without his ship,
The harbor will be old tonight.
What a pity, our washed up loves.
The irony, 9-11...
Love's only to be accepted.
 
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Les meurtrières

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Benjamin ClémentBenjamin Clément    Sab, 03/02/2018 - 00:07

Impressive translation, really.

Just a few things:

."And the wind blows, upon the foams, White sailboats into their stations.": Here we lose a bit the incongruity present in French, I would go with a full on: And the wind carries, upon the foams, White sailboats into the train stations. "

."Or at least it eluded us": I would use "lose" here, as "elude" does not convey that they once had it.

."Come on, pull yourself together!": I would rather say something along the lines of: "Come one, stop being delusional!

."It would taste like the tragedies": I see where you come from with the choice of saying "tragedies", but in French the adjective "tragique" is used in an unconventional way, I feel you can freely do the same in English: "It would taste like the tragics"

."On a train looking for its tracks.": As "un or perdu" is not really a French expression I would suggest to go with a literal translation. Or I'm missing something and you had a reason to translate to the looking back at the tracks metaphor?

."As, without you, every daybreak Never comes together again.": The play on words and the symmetry are lost here. I suggest sunrises/not rising anymore to keep close to the French.

.Changing "Goodbyes" to "Farewells" would be a bit more accurate.

It's just some minor changes that in my opinion would improve an otherwise absolutely great translation.

KamidaKamida
   Sab, 05/01/2019 - 16:30

Hey, thanks for the great feedback! I've been meaning to respond for quite some time, sorry that it took so long ^^

"Here we lose a bit the incongruity present in French"
You're absolutely correct, thanks for the suggestion. Since I'm generally trying my best to respect meaning, lyricism, stylistic devices, metrics and rhymes, I'm thinking that combining your version (more faithful to meaning and style, but breaks metrics, which frustrates me) with mine (faithful to metrics, but breaks meaning and style, which also frustrates me) could be more faithful overall. "And wind carries, upon the foams, White sailboats into train stations" seems okay to me. What do you say?

"I would use "lose" here, as "elude" does not convey that they once had it."
Another good point. How about "Or at least we've lost what we had"?

"I would rather say something along the lines of: "Come one, stop being delusional!""
I understand. IIRC, this line gave me some trouble and I struggled finding a translation that would be more respecting of the meaning without compromising on metrics, which was a priority for me with this song. Perhaps "Come on, man, stop fooling yourself!" would be better? We lose the rhyme, but we're closer to the original meaning and metrics are maintained.

"I feel you can freely do the same in English: "It would taste like the tragics""
Indeed, and you're right that I wasn't sure that using "tragics" would work as well in English as it does in French. But I think what drove my decision was, once again, the difference in metrics. I also seem to recall contemplating "It would taste just like the tragics", but thinking that it was less phonetically harmonious - plus, using "just" was a bit redundant with the previous line. So it basically comes down to harmony vs style vs metrics. I felt that using "tragedies" was the best compromise, but I'll give it some thoughts.

"Or I'm missing something and you had a reason to translate to the looking back at the tracks metaphor?"
You didn't miss anything, no. You couldn't possibly have understood my translation given the French lyrics presented here. I was actually translating "pour un nord perdu" - as though the narrator was lost without her, hence the train looking for its tracks. Apparently, there are two versions of this line on the internet: "un nord perdu" and "un or perdu". Both of them make sense in their own way, so I have no idea which one is correct. Do you? In any case, I'll try and see if I can think of a satisfying translation for the version that's used here.

"The play on words and the symmetry are lost here."
Really? I thought I'd managed to salvage the general idea and the metaphoric nature of the imagery - the day breaks but never comes together again, i.e. never gets unbroken. Maybe you didn't see what I was going for, perhaps because it's too far-fetched? If you're positive that something meaningful gets lost in translation, I'll see what I can do.

"Changing "Goodbyes" to "Farewells" would be a bit more accurate."
Truth is, I'd thought about that back then but wasn't convinced. "Goodbye" has both meanings in English so it can be somewhat equivocal, but given the context of the lyrics I don't think it's the case here. "Farewall" is quite formal AFAIK, too literary for this context imho. That's why I went with "Goodbyes" instead.

Again, thank you very much for the compliment and criticism, I really appreciate it ;)