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Парус (Parus) (traduzione in Inglese)

Revisione appena richiesta

Парус

Белеет парус одинокий
В тумане моря голубом...
Что ищет он в стране далёкой?
Что кинул он в краю родном?
 
Играют волны - ветер свищет,
И мачта гнётся и скрипит...
Увы, - он счастия не ищет
И не от счастия бежит!
 
Под ним струя светлей лазури,
Над ним луч солнца золотой
А он, мятежный, просит бури,
Как будто в бурях есть покой!
 
1832
 
Postato da panaceapanacea Lun, 11/04/2011 - 14:32
Ultima modifica ltlt Gio, 21/05/2020 - 11:16
Commenti dell’autore:

ЛЕРМОНТОВ
Михаил Юрьевич
(1814 - 1841)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mec-_rTl2Ek

traduzione in IngleseInglese
Allinea i paragrafi

The Sail

A solitary sail glows white in
The dark blue fog of open sea.
What need is in a distant country?
In native land what does he flee?
 
Waves are playing, wind is whistling,
Mast groans with an urgent sound.
Alas, for happiness he looks not,
Nor runs from any that he found.
 
Beneath a bright stream carries him
Above, a sun in golden ease.
But he rebellious wants the tempest,
As though its billows bring him peace.
 
Grazie!
thanked 5 times
Postato da shinedshined Mar, 30/06/2020 - 13:43
Commenti dell’autore:

In his Eclesiastical History of the English People, written in 731, Bede told the story of Caedmon, an illiterate cow-herd who was awakened by an angel and sang an eloquent song about the creation of the earth. At first, Bede included only his own Latin translation of Caedmon’s words. Relenting in later editions, he reproduced the earliest known poem written in English. About his Latin translation of Caedmon’s song he commented:

“Hic est sensus, non autem ordo ipse verborum quae dormiens ille canebat; neque enim possunt carmina, quamvis optime composita, ex alia in aliam linguam ad verbum sine detrimento sui decoris ac dignitatis transferri.”

My translation is not literal. I have reproduced Lermontov’s rhythm (iambic quatrameter with alternating hard and soft line-endings) but retained only the b rhymes from his a-b, a-b scheme. I have tried to give some sense of the sonic drama in the poet’s final line, as its two hard “b” sounds resolve into a softer “p.” But кинул is more like reject than flee, and I couldn’t get in the repetition of счастия in lines 7 and 8. Of course my “he” sounds like artsy personification in English when it is only the gender appropriate pronoun for парус in Russian, placing the sail ambiguously between a “he” and an “it.”

L'autore della traduzione ha chiesto una revisione del testo.
Questo significa che sarebbe lieto di ricevere correzioni, consigli ecc. sulla sua traduzione.
Se hai una buona conoscenza sia della lingua di origine sia di quella della traduzione, è gradito un tuo commento.
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Commenti fatti
IrulaIrula    Mar, 30/06/2020 - 14:18

Welcome to LT! What a debut! 👏👏👏
Beautiful! 👍👏
Just one word of advise - add some picture to your avatar so we can see that it’s you in the “Site Activity“!

shinedshined    Mar, 30/06/2020 - 17:03

Thanks. Problem with avatar is I am neither pretty nor adept at internet. But will try. Dan

IrulaIrula    Mar, 30/06/2020 - 17:30

Really nice picture! 👍You can change it to any photo, say, of a building or a pet, if you want!
The main thing is that we recognize you visually and read your awesome translations!
You can browse any user and read their profile and works, but in Site Activity we normally open the links of the people we know or if some comment looks interesting. This is how I found your translation of “To K***”, it popped up there. So after reading it and liking it a lot, I went to your profile to find two more great translations!
Let me know if you need any help navigating here on LT. The QA section of the Menu is a good source of the info.
Irina

shinedshined    Mar, 30/06/2020 - 21:22

спасибо за вашу помощь Dan

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